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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
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Britney, Paris Air Savage Anti-McCain Ad

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Just days after Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) broadcast an anti-Obama ad in which he compared the presumptive Democratic nominee to celebrities Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, the two tabloid mainstays fought back with an eviscerating anti-McCain spot of their own.

While Spears and Hilton said they had planned to remain on the sidelines during the 2008 presidential campaign, Sen. McCain's negative ad "left us no choice," but to respond to the candidate's attack, the notorious party gals said today.

"We don't mind John McCain going after us if he sticks to the facts," Ms. Spears said at a New York press conference. "But we are sick of the distortions about our record."

Ms. Hilton said that the McCain ad appeared to link herself and Ms. Spears to Sen. Obama, leading the casual viewer to conclude that the three of them had "the same energy policy."

"Nothing could be further from the truth," said Ms.

Spears. "Both of us strongly favor off-shore drilling to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

Ms. Hilton said she was also "offended" by the implication that she and Ms. Spears favor a tax on electricity: "We have both been very clear on that issue."

In their anti-McCain spot, the two starlets fight fire with fire, comparing Sen. McCain to the Joker from the smash-hit film "The Dark Knight." "It's perfectly fair," Ms. Spears said of the ad. "They both have pasty white faces and totally creepy smiles."

Elsewhere, Chinese Olympic officials confiscated the poles of the pole-vaulting team to prevent athletes from going over the wall.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE


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Vote Democrat! The Party of Andy Borowitz, John Edwards, Bill Clinton, Gary Hart, Jesse Jackson, Antonio Villaraigosa, Gavin Newsom, Kwame Kilpatrick, James McGreevey, Eliot Spitzer, Henry Cisneros and their fellow assholes.
Comment: #1
Posted by: John Shackleford
Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:08 AM
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