Bin Laden Denounces Inclusion on Worst Dressed List

A furious Osama bin Laden appeared on the Arabic-language Al-Jazeera network last night to denounce his inclusion on the latest edition of Mr. Blackwell's infamous Worst Dressed List.

In his half-hour tirade, the world's most wanted man left no doubt that he was incensed at being considered one of the world's worst dressed men as well.

Wearing his trademark robe and sporting a white, flowing beard, the al-Qaeda terror mastermind lambasted his inclusion on a list that also featured such Hollywood notables as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan.

"The infidel who placed me on this ignoble list will be forced to pay," warned Mr. bin Laden, who used his television appearance to declare a global jihad against Mr. Blackwell.

But reached at his office in Beverly Hills, Mr. Blackwell seemed unruffled by Mr. bin Laden's threat, and even went so far as to criticize his appearance on television: "If you're going to complain about being on my list, why would you go on TV wearing that dress?"

Calling Mr.

bin Laden's sartorial sense "tacky, tacky, tacky," Mr. Blackwell said, "Half the time he looks like an extra in 'The Lord of the Rings.'"

While Mr. Blackwell said he had no regrets about placing the al-Qaeda leader on the Worst Dressed List, he stopped short of putting him in the same echelon as Ms. Hilton and Ms. Spears, who tied for No. 1.

"At least he wears underwear," he said. "I think."

Elsewhere, beverage studies tend to be biased when the money funding them comes from the beverage industry, according to an article published today in "Duh" magazine.

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the new book "The Republican Playbook," to be published October 2007. To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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