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Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
27 Dec 2008
Markets Crash on Pictures of Obama Losing Shirt Shirtless President-Elect Creates Crisis of Confidence

Global markets swooned this week in reaction to photos showing that President-elect Barack Obama had lost his shirt.… … Read More.

20 Dec 2008
Caroline Kennedy Asks to be Time's Person of the Year Places Phone Call to Magazine's Editor

Caroline Kennedy would like to be considered Time magazine's Person of the Year for 2009 and has let the magazine'… Read More.

12 Dec 2008
Angry Kucinich Reminds Obama He Was Rival Makes Hail Mary Bid for Postmaster General

As president-elect Barack Obama continues to assemble his "team of rivals" by filling Cabinet … Read More.

Bill Clinton Switches to Obama: Latest Super Delegate Defection for Hillary

In what some Democratic Party insiders are calling a particularly ominous sign for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, former president Bill Clinton today became the latest super delegate to switch from Sen. Clinton to her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.).

Sources close to the former president said that Mr. Clinton had been mulling such a defection for weeks, as early as the night of the Iowa primary, but that he only decided to make his decision public today.

"The American people want change," Mr. Clinton said at a press conference in New York. "Lord knows I do."

The former president said that "sometimes, at the end of a race, you have to put an old horse down," adding, "I'm not speaking metaphorically."

Mr. Clinton fueled speculation that he was seeking a role in an Obama administration, saying, "I know my way around the Oval Office, and I know how the super-secret double-lock works."

The former president said he would relish a return to the White House, calling his tenure there "good times."

For her part, Sen.

Clinton said that the defection of her husband would not deter her from staying in the race, adding, "To my knowledge, he's the only white voter Sen. Obama has."

The New York senator denied that she was playing the race card, arguing, "Every other member of my family is supporting me, and by the way, they're white."

Elsewhere, a defiant John McCain said that his wife would not release her tax returns, "and neither will my girlfriend."

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE


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