Yes, I know. Your boss likes you. But does she or he "like like" you or simply "like" you. Or, and this is important, did they used to really "like like" you, but now merely "like" you?

No, this isn't high school; this is the real world. In fact, it's the "real real" world, where unreturned e-mail, a quick hang-up or an uncomfortable moment in the hallway may not only mean you lost a friend, but also that you have lost a job.

I was reminded of this insight by a recent column in The Wall Street Journal by Dana Mattioli. If I met her in the hallway, I would certainly give a major "Howdy-do!" Mattioli documents what we've long suspected: When it seems like your boss has lost that loving feeling, it probably means you two are headed for a D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Oh, sure, there are bosses who are naturally reserved, if not simply aloof. You may be able to convince yourself that the reason the big boss didn't say hello to you when you bumped into each other at the copying machine is because he or she was thinking about big issues — problems too complex for your silly little head. You can persuade yourself, but you can't convince me.

Rich Gee agrees. "If you're in good standing with your boss, you should be having frequent informal talks," says the president of Rich Gee Coaching. The fact that your manager has not spoken to you since the Christmas party, and only talked when you were standing on his foot, suggests that the next wave of layoffs will sweep you away with the tide.

Still in denial? Gee suggests you compare the way your boss interacts with co-workers and use that as an indicator. If your supervisor has no time to listen to your fascinating tales of prowling swap meets to find mint Darth Vader action figures for your Star Wars collection, but somehow still manages to spend 20 minutes listening to the doofus in the next cubical describe his golf swing, chances are that you are either in the doghouse or very dull — and we know that certainly couldn't be the case.

All of which raises the question: Why do bosses choose to deliver performance reviews through subtle, nonverbal communications? "Bosses are particularly conflict-averse," is the answer reporter Mattioli receives from Judith Glaser, CEO of Benchmark Communications Inc. You know this is true. These highly-paid, powerful individuals are expected to be dynamic deciders, yet they cower like scared children in a Freddy Krueger flick when it comes to delivering bad news.

That's why bosses give you the cold shoulder. They aren't sending you a message; instead your existence has forced them to actually make a decision.

But we're not here to curse the darkness in your boss's soul. Better to focus on what you can do if a chill has descended in your formerly warm and toasty relationship. One possibility is that you could actually bring up the issue. It may not be easy to buttonhole your boss, considering their natural inclination to generally avoid conflict and you in particular. If you have no luck with conventional methods, like marching into the executive bathroom and bursting open their stall, try thinking outside the box.

Hide behind the fichus plant in the reception area, and pounce when the boss enters the room. Tackle the slippery devil on the way to Mahogany Row and don't let go. "Why the heck didn't you answer my e-mail, you miserable, pathetic, passive-aggressive poseur?"

Your boss will admire your resourcefulness and your assertiveness. Just be careful to check your facts. "Maybe your e-mail got lost in the shuffle," suggests Rachelle J. Canter of RJC Associates. In this situation, something more than a simple "Oops, I goofed" may be required. I suggest a 2-pound Whitman's Sampler — there's nothing that won't fix.

If you can't repair your relationship problems, the only option is to start looking for another job. The cold shoulder treatment may be juvenile, but it does provide an early warning system for those who would be happier working for a boss who "really, really likes likes" them.

I'm sure you can find a shoulder to cry on with another boss, but just in case, keep a Whitman's Sampler in your desk drawer.

Bob Goldman has been an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@funnybusiness.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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