Here's a workplace shocker — one in 10 of your fellow co-workers is a bigamist.

No, these folks are not participating in an office version of "Big Love." These bigamists have only one spouse at home, but there is another spouse involved. I'm referring to the long-time, intimate relationship that grows out of the close proximity of an ordinary workingman or woman; the person we call "the office spouse."

An office spouse is an individual with whom you have a very close, platonic relationship between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Though the union is usually between a man and a woman, it could also be a same-sex non-marriage. In this one respect, the workplace is light years ahead.

Despite the fact that the couple does not share a bed, they do share many experiences, including a hatred of the boss, contempt for their co-workers and a love of gossiping through the long, boring days at work.

Sound familiar? I now pronounce you: office spouse.

The intimate relations between office spouses starts in the morning when you bring your significant other the special chai skim latte that he or she loves, when moments earlier, you refused to get up from the breakfast table to get your real spouse a spoon so he or she could eat Cheerios. The flirtation continues through lunch. You share a bench in the park to enjoy the homemade egg salad sandwiches you made on homemade raisin bread with the homemade mayonnaise he likes better than the bottled stuff his real wife uses. The flirtation carries on through apr�s-work cocktails at the Kit Kat Klub where you each buy your office spouse a shot, a beer and a lap dance.

Having an office spouse does not necessarily lead to a sexual relationship, but it's a darn good place to start. For example, those of us who watch "The Office" have seen Pam and Jim evolve their office spouse relationship into a serious involvement outside the office and, eventually, into a marriage proposal. Of course, Pam and Jim were not married — a condition that, if you ask me, takes the fun and excitement out of having an office spouse.

It is CareerBuilder.com who conducted the recent survey that found that about 10 percent of workers felt that they had a work spouse. And 20 percent of that 10 percent reported that their "real-life" spouse was jealous of their "workplace counterpart."

These results raise a number of interesting questions, the most intriguing being which partner is the real-life spouse and which one is the counterpart? After all, you spend 8 to 10 to 12 hours a day with your office spouse. You see your real-life spouse only at night, when you're exhausted, and on the weekends during football games.

Moreover, your so-called real spouse could never understand you like your office partner. You may have history and children with your real spouse, but they've never sat next to you in a three-hour staff meeting — winking, grinning and passing notes like schoolchildren while El Grande Queso conducts a team-building exercise.

Still, you can't ignore the problems that may arise when the spouse with whom you share a home becomes jealous of the partner with whom you share a cubicle. For this reason, it is important that you let your legal spouse know that they come before your workplace spouse. Point out that your workplace partner only receives the leftovers — those tiresome, first-class business trips to Europe as well as the fattening, expense-account meals. Your real spouse gets the important benefits of a legal relationship: They get to wash your underwear and put you to bed when you come home plastered. (I know. It feels just awful to be unfaithful to your office spouse, but sometimes it just has to be done.)

If, in spite of your efforts, the green-eyed monster does appear, you may have to decide between your two spouses. Choose carefully and consider the consequences.

If you and your real spouse go through a nasty breakup, you may lose half of your possessions. But if you and your office spouse head for splitsville, you've turned a person who knows all your secrets loose on the organization. Hell hath no fury like an office wife scorned, and remember — a word whispered in one executive ear and you could lose all your items.

Bob Goldman has been an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@funnybusiness.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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