When Modifiers Wander, Readers Wonder by Rob Kyff on Creators.com

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When Modifiers Wander, Readers Wonder

What happens when a writer puts a word or phrase in the wrong place?

It's not pretty. Consider these examples spotted by readers in newspapers and magazines . . . or, that readers have spotted in newspapers and magazines:

— "Bring a blanket for sitting on the floor and your friends." Plenty of baby sitters available. (Spotted by Dick Wenner, West Hartford, Conn.)

— "Former Sun forward Taj McWilliams became just the 10th player in league history to score 4,000 points last week." Now THAT's a high-scoring week! (Spotted by Bill Davies, North Haven, Conn.)

— "In 1955 we were able to buy a home with a Veterans Administration loan and indoor plumbing." I guess they were more flush than they thought. (Art Frackenpohl, Watertown, N.Y.)

— "Relax after a hard day of shopping in our creek-side pool." Bring your liquid assets. (B.J. Murray, via e-mail)

— "Last night in Oviedo a man was shot through his front door." At least it wasn't his barn door! (Michael via e-mail)

— "In 1945, Italian dictator Benito Mussolini and his mistress, Clara Petacci, were executed by Italian partisans trying to flee the country." I hate to execute and run, but … (John Daigle, Vernon, Conn.)

— "Cronkite recorded the introduction to the newscast he anchored for nearly two decades in 2006." Perhaps 2006 just SEEMED like 20 years.

(J. Dexiar via e-mail)

— "I am unable to identify a particular bug that was problematic in my vegetable garden, even searching the Internet." That's one tech-savvy insect! (Norm Stevens, Storrs, Conn.)

— "Known as the Frick Collection, Helen wanted to keep the house as it had been lived in …" That's a cute nickname. (Carol Brinjak, Pittsburgh.)

— "Declared a World Heritage Site in 2004, UNESCO cited the 14th-century abbey as an irreplaceable treasure." I guess a lot of international tourists visit U.N. headquarters. (Alan Clem, Vermillion, S.D.)

— "Dear Amy: What is the appropriate way to handle canceling gift exchanges with our family members who live in various states we seldom see?" On a clear day, you can see Russia. (Jim Rhoades, Uncasville, Conn.)

— "[A man] was charged with consuming alcohol under 21 years of age." He served a wine before its time. (Betty Lundy, West Point, Miss.)

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.