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Plurality Presents a 'Pair'adox

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Q: What is the plural of "pair"? I always thought it was "two pairs," but I often see "two pair of socks." —Geri Chmil via email

A: If you've seen two pair of socks, you're doing better than I am. I have enough trouble finding one pair of socks that match!

Appropriately enough, I'll give you a pair of opinions. Linguistic purists prefer "pairs" as the plural of "pair," e.g., "two pairs of socks." But more permissive commentators see nothing wrong with the plural "pair," e.g., "two pair of socks."

For some reason, we seem to use "pair" most often when referring to clothing; that is, we're more likely to say "two pair of shoes," than we are "two pair of oars" or "two pair of tires." Call it the a-"pair"-el factor.

This topic raises a related "pair" question: Should you say "a pair is" or "a pair are"?

As with other collective nouns, such as "couple," "faculty" and "team," you should use a singular verb when thinking of the pair as a unit and use a plural verb when thinking of the pair as two individuals. So you'd say, "this pair of trees is blocking my view," but "this pair of trees are crowding each other."

Q: One of my favorite bugaboos is the common response to "thank you" — "no problem." Where was the implication that there was a problem? —Bob Richter, Los Angeles

A: Your use of the wonderful term "bugaboos" suggests that you're probably not a 20-something — just guessing! In fact, "no problem" has become something of a generational marker.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone over 30 use it, while I've rarely heard anyone under 30 say, "You're welcome."

It's funny, but I'm less bothered by "no problem" than I was when it first emerged during the 1980s. The logic behind the term is that the person being thanked had no problem or difficulty accomplishing the appreciated service or task. So this would imply that the person performed it willingly and cheerfully.

If you think about it, "no problem" is really no less logical than "You're welcome," which implies that the person being thanked renders the kindness gladly and heartily, as in "You're welcome to use the pool."

"You're welcome" certainly does seem to be fading. When TV anchors thank interviewees, for instance, the response is almost always, "Thank YOU."

Give me a hearty "You're welcome!" any day.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254

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