Is 'These Ones' for the Birds? by Rob Kyff on Creators.com

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Is 'These Ones' for the Birds?

Q. I am hoping that you can settle a long disagreement about something. Example: Girl goes to the pet store to buy a bird. Salesperson says, "We have this one here and (points to another cage) these ones." Isn't "these" plural — more than one? I hear this everywhere, and it drives me crazy. — Jan T., Windsor, Conn.

A. I fully understand why you think "these ones" is for the birds. The juxtaposition of the plural "these" with a word that epitomizes singularity — "one" (even with an "s" attached) — is indeed jarring.

The word "ones" is what linguists call a "notional singular"; that is, "one" is so intrinsically associated with the notion of singularity that its plural form sounds weird.

Grammatically, though, there's absolutely nothing wrong with "these ones." After all, we say "these books," "these chairs" and "these notional singulars" all the time . . . well, maybe not "notional singulars."

And, oddly enough, when "one" refers to the number one or to dollar bills, it's perfectly natural to say, "Group these ones in the left column," or "Can you give me a $5 bill for these ones?"

But because "these ones" sounds so strange in most contexts, I'd avoid the phrase altogether. A savvy salesperson will point to another cage and say, "We also have these birds," or "We also have these," or "Please, please buy a bird; the only bills I have in my cash drawer are these ones."

I saw a billboard for a couples-matching service today, and it made me start wondering why "match" is used for both the concept of putting compatible people, colors, etc., together and for the physical item that is used to start a fire. Can you light a candle (with a match, maybe) and enlighten me? — Carl Guenther, Memphis, Tenn.

A. Wouldn't it be sweet to think that a dating service could spark a fiery romance between a lad and a lass by "matching" them?

Alas, the "match" that means "a person or thing suitable for another" derives from the Middle English "macche," a mate or an equal. "Macche," in turn, derives from the Old English word "macian" (to make), the idea being that matched items are "made for each other."

The "match" meaning a stick with combustible material on the end comes from the Middle English "matche," a candlewick. As you requested, I have "lit a candle" to enlighten you, though somewhat "wick"edly.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.