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In a One-Horse Open Cliche!

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And now the annual holiday letter from the English family …

The past year has been robust, sustainable and luxe for every English. We've gone green and avoided staggering debt, toxic assets, federal bailouts and flu-like symptoms. We got the cash for our clunker, friended and unfriended on Facebook, mourned a pop icon, tweeted about the Octomom, swooned from swine, saw "Twilight," went rogue and made every lame golf pun on Tiger's infidelity we could think of. You might say the English clan went viral this year!

That said and having said that, this year has also brought a palpable sense of closure. Some of our key stakeholders are, well, pulling up stakes. Gramps, the avatar of our clan, is expected to be shovel ready by February.

This year, we've decided to let each of our grown children provide a personal account of 2009 …

Tom (a TV sportscaster): No question about it, this year has been a game-changer for me. Look, like some of the athletes I cover, I have a compelling personal story. Listen, I'm a guy who always shows up to play, who gets it done up front and goes out there and executes. I'll tell you what — I'm now in a position to control my own destiny.

Sally (a local TV reporter): I have breaking news! My scenario has played out against a poignant backdrop of triumph and tragedy.

It's been an amazing journey, full of bizarre turns of events and horrific revelations. Since I went missing, my friends and neighbors have hastily assembled a makeshift shrine hoping to make sense of it all.

Briana (a national political reporter): Given the current economic situation, bipartisanship resonated on both sides of my aisle, if you will. My mindset for 2009 was to throw the political outliers and fat cats under the bus. Despite pushback, THIS reporter, THIS president and THIS Congress have gained traction going forward. Game on!

Sam (a national economics reporter): Skyrocketing foreclosures, whopping tax increases and ballooning deficits brought me a perfect storm of stories this year. I watched people snap up devalued stocks, snap up discounted commodities and generally just snap up. At the end of the day, this recession-like economy is literally and absolutely the new normal.

Well, that's the story of English this year. Remember, what happens in English stays in English. It's all good.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM


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