Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q: My friend's little boy has struggled since pre-kindergarten with socialization, and he was diagnosed with something similar to Asperger's. His scores are in the 99 percentile for the verbal, perceptual and memory parts of the Wechsler IQ test, but only the 13 percentile for processing speed.

He's a very frustrated little boy going into third grade. In first grade, he said everyone else was smarter than him. He's not saying this now because his second grade teacher was great and really worked with him. His mom is a teacher of 16 years. I'll ask her if she's read your books and suggest she look into occupational therapy. Can you recommend anything else to help him?

A: There are two parts to your question, so I'll respond to the part about social skills first. Social skills can be taught. There have been many books published on teaching children social skills from preschool through the middle school years. Free Spirit Publishing (www.freespirit.com) has a good selection. The boy's parents can surely work through some of these books with him, or they can have him go to a counselor who teaches social skills individually or in groups. Either way, while children don't entirely change their personalities, they can learn to be more effective with peers and adults.

The struggle with handwriting is only part of processing speed, the area in which this little boy's score was so low. For some children, handwriting may be the primary part. For other children, reading material and even thinking and responding can be slow.

If there's a reading component to the child's processing speed problem, an intervention by a reading teacher is crucial. In addition to reading instruction, I've found when children use electronic readers, they become more engaged in reading and often improve in reading skill as well.

The writing problem I typically describe as "pencil anxiety" is very common for boys. I've always believed the writing problem results from little interest in writing, coloring or cutting during the preschool years when most boys are engaged with building, puzzles and Legos. Brain growth is rapid during those preschool years and lack of practice early takes its toll later. Here are some suggestions for reducing "pencil anxiety" and increasing handwriting speed.

Occupational therapy is often helpful, especially for young children.

Also, encourage children to use the computer for all drafts when writing stories or reports.

Ask your children to talk their story into a microphone before actually writing it. This will allow them to get their ideas out. Permit your children to use fine-line markers or No. 2 pencils for assignments, whichever seem to work better.

You can also have your children practice a "speeding" exercise. It's a personal best self-competition model and it will reduce anxiety and build confidence. They'll need a stopwatch and multiple sheets of the same written material to copy. They first copy the material to establish a baseline time and record it on their chart. The next day, they write the same material and mark the time. The goal is to beat their own time. Writing the same material every day may get boring, but they'll soon find they can write much faster. They'll become much more relaxed about timed tests if timing becomes a daily habit, and they can see their improvement. The selections they choose for writing can be short or long depending on their age and can be varied every week.

This same "speeding" approach can also be used for math facts. Use the same math fact page five nights in a row. Have children time themselves and place their time on the chart. The personal best competition builds confidence in both math and writing. Children who write slowly may not score up to their ability on timed tests. Time limits may have to be extended.

Change expectations for children by making specific comments that emphasize intelligence and speed are not the same. Some examples of things you can say follow:

— Although some intelligent children finish work quickly, other very intelligent children are slow workers.

— Quality is more important than quantity.

— Authors always write many drafts before they feel satisfied.

— Some assignments require fast writing, while others are best completed slowly.

Be sure to listen to Don Rabalais singing the song "The Story of Walter Fast" on my website. Your child will also enjoy it.

For free newsletters about pencil anxiety or social skills, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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