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Interplay
DEAR SUSAN: No disrespect intended, but as a happily married woman, I have a take on fellow blogger J's situation: J, I've seen many of your posts, and in my eyes, you sound entitled and desperate. You constantly make references to …Read more.
Single Land
DEAR SUSAN: One of my fellow bloggers still seems a bit upset that he hasn't found a keeper yet. Well, I was in the same position he is. In fact, I have been in "single land" since 2007 and most likely will be for the rest of my time. But …Read more.
Digging
DEAR SUSAN: My definition of singlehood is not having a significant other. I'm reminded of my own singleness every day when I see couples together — contrasted with the way singles are treated. I personally have no desire to stay unmarried. …Read more.
Common Cause
DEAR SUSAN: I find that most angry/bitter single people are that way because they are trying to date "up" instead of looking for someone who has more in common with them financially and in terms of appearance and fitness. Think about it! …Read more.
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StrengthDEAR SUSAN: Thanks for reminding women not to appear too strong when they're out. — Glenda F., Long Island, N.Y. DEAR GLENDA: Which column was it that inspired your gratitude? The one about handling a credit card with dignity and not mopping the floor with the man whose credit ran out during dinner? Or the one urging my sisters not to take out eons of supposed "subjugation and oppression" (from generations going back way beyond your mom's age group) on the man you're currently with, the one who wants more than anything to see his partner as equal and capable? Or the one reminding today's woman to respect the men in her life, the gender going through a really tough patch, disrespected and demeaned by the media and the ad agencies? Or the one advising women to act like ladies and think like men? It takes strength of all dimensions to get through today's web of distortions and put-downs and get to the real pith of men, the goodness and helpfulness that only needs to be tapped to emerge and help us women. Listen up, ladies. It's a good thing to be with a man, to have the balance of male thinking. Romance or not, relationship with a man can be nurturing, inspiring and educational. Friendship can be a strong foundation for love on any level, on any dimension. The real strength for women is undependence — wholeness. Try being an iron fist in a velvet glove. Bluff and bluster are imposters of strength, not the real thing. Quiet, calm, self-assured — that's the strong woman of today. DEAR SUSAN: I love your book "Single File" and am trying to replace my copy, which has fallen apart. But there seem to be very few used copies for sale out there, and those that do exist are priced too high ($95 on Amazon.com!). Is there any way I could buy one from you, if there are copies still available? — Louise G., Portland, Ore. DEAR LOUISE: I'm so happy my book has become part of your life, thumbed through and pored over. That's a good thing about this book; it's written in a way you can stop and start without having to begin at the beginning again. (I'm writing my third book, so you'll have fresh material and new thoughts by and by.
DEAR SUSAN: My last genuine, long-term relationship ended five years ago. Since then, I've found it virtually impossible to find a quality single woman on Long Island. (I've had only two short-term relationships since then, each lasting only four months. In both of them, we had very few common interests and even fewer common values. Therefore, they both failed.) You are always saying the best way to meet someone you want is to follow your interests. The problem is there aren't any groups for my interests. My greatest passions are rock music and movies. Against my better judgment, I joined Match.com. Let me tell you, 80 percent of the women on Match are looking for the "perfect" man. Each has this ridiculous laundry list of requirements for a man to even meet her: perfect body, at least 6 feet tall, minimum income of $100,000, etc. Is this what love is made of? I tell my friends they should thank God they found the women of their dreams and married them. There's no better way to destroy your faith in women than to join Match.com. I'm completely disgusted. Susan, there must be some other way that a quality man can meet a quality woman who actually shares his values and beliefs! — From the Internet DEAR BLOGGER: Try this: Erase all traces of your Match.com horror show, and — yes, I've said it before — dig into your passions. You have two of them, and it's a sure thing that a Google search will point you in their direction. For example, the Museum of Modern Art routinely features good films. (You'll have a taste of the women beyond Long Island; think about that.) Call for the film schedule. There was another group of film lovers headed by a professional from The New School, in New York City; you might contact the school for more information. As for music, get in touch with the Hard Rock Cafe in Manhattan; it might be the only name you need to get information that leads you to groups, individuals and events centered around rock music. And do try Google for more names. (Beats paying to be disenchanted, for sure.) Write to Susan Deitz in care of this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at info@creators.com. Write or e-mail her for your free "Declaration of Undependence" on parchment. COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM
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