At first glance, it was his photograph that caught my eye. He appeared supremely confident, and his thick mane of hair was windswept. I easily could imagine that his spirit soared on the same currents as his short life.

But the picture didn't match the page because it was in the obituary section of my local newspaper. He was too young to be there. And then I read the reason he was there:

"Kevin J. Keane, Age 28 of St. Paul. Cherished son, brother, friend. Kevin lost his battle with drug addiction on July 7, 2008."

It's not often we read about the true causes of death when drug addicts die in this country. Usually, we cloak the harsh reality of addiction's ultimate consequence by calling it a "car crash," "a long illness" or an "accident." So I was struck by the courage and strength of Kevin's family to tell the truth.

A few days later, I received an unsolicited letter from Kevin's grandmother, Kathleen Geiser, of Belle Plaine, Minn.: "Dear Mr. Moyers: I want to thank you for the time you spent with us on the phone two years ago. It was Christmas Eve day and we had left a letter in your mailbox at your home pleading for help. You even also talked to Kevin on the phone. You gave us all hope. In the end, it was such a tragic loss."

Her letter sucked the wind out of me because I don't recall talking to the family or to Kevin. It hit me that the relentless epidemic of addiction has, like a landslide, swept from my memory or buried forever too many of the individual stories that reach me through this column or my work for Hazelden. In the past 12 years, not much has changed. Addiction's grip is relentless and omnipotent.

Kevin's mother wants that to change. Not so much for the sake of the addicts; ironically, Kevin had access to treatment but chose to check himself out of the facility not long before he died on the bathroom floor of his house from an apparent overdose of heroin. She wants to use his story and her experiences to help families of addicts.

"Awareness is one of the only answers we have for Kevin's death," Elizabeth Lambrecht told me. "It took me a long time to come to a realization of what was going on with my son, how we were enabling him through our own denial, our unwillingness to talk about this or to confront him with the truth. I didn't want to admit to the reality that my son was a junkie."

Elizabeth said Kevin, a roofer, became addicted to pain medication about eight years ago, after he was seriously injured while working at a construction site. Incredibly, two weeks after that, Kevin's brother, Nolan, was killed in an accident at the same site. The two brothers were 15 months apart in age. "They were joined at the hip. Kevin suffered from such survivor's guilt, feeling he wasn't there to protect Nolan. From there, he spiraled downward. At the same time, I didn't and couldn't accept his addiction, and I was too afraid of losing yet another child to put him on the street."

Elizabeth doesn't second-guess herself about whether she could have prevented Kevin's addiction. But now she is dedicated to using her hindsight to educate other families about what to do when addiction hits close to home.

"It is crucial to set boundaries," she says. "Parents can't stop a son or daughter from using drugs. They can't make them go to treatment or stay there, and they can't keep them sober afterwards. They have to accept this first. The only control they really have is over their own environment."

Among other things, Elizabeth says, parents must make it clear that they won't tolerate drug use in the house or even allow the active addict to visit or live there. Softening the consequences by lending money or a car to the addict is a no-no, too, she says. Sympathy for the addict is one thing, but it does not mean enabling him to continue using drugs. "I wish I had had the strength to kick him out for his sake and for mine," says Elizabeth.

She has found such strength now. She wants to use it to help others like her.

William C. Moyers is the vice president of external affairs for the Hazelden Foundation and the author of "Broken," a best-selling memoir. The paperback edition was released in August 2007. Please send your questions to William Moyers at William@WilliamMoyers.com. To find out more about William Moyers and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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