DR. WALLACE: Many people consider me a loser, but maybe this loser can help her fellow female teens.

I'm 19, but when I was 16 I was deeply in love with a certain guy who was very active in drugs. He took everything and anything he could get his hands on. I "loved" this guy, and since I was straight I thought I could change him. My parents warned me that he couldn't be changed, but I didn't listen. I was in love and love conquers all.

At his request, I quit school and moved in with him — two months ago I moved out. I was with him for three solid years and did everything possible to get him to stop the drugs, but nothing worked.

All I got from the relationship was a lot of false hope, disappointment, grief, turmoil, trouble and two kids. I finally decided that Jim is never going to stop taking drugs; my kids' future is more important than trying to convert him.

Many times I have read in your column that girls love guys, and girls think they can change the guys for the better. It sounds good, but in real life it just doesn't work that way. I'm not saying that girls should stop loving or seeing guys who are hooked on drugs and alcohol. What I am saying is that you are foolish if you think they are going to change their ways.

Even though I'm the mother of two children, I'm still only 19 and I want a man. But this time around I'll be a bit more selective. As my old grandmother used to tell me, "It's just as easy to fall in love with a wise man as it is to love a fool." I'm a little late, but now I'm a believer. — Brenda, San Luis Obispo, Calif.

BRENDA: Thanks for sharing with our teen readers. Your grandmother is a very bright lady!

LOSE WEIGHT THROUGH EXERCISE AND DIET

DR. WALLACE: I'm told that I'm cute, and that I have a good sense of humor and a wonderful personality. I'm also smart — all these wonderful attributes should make me a very happy teen, but that's not the case. I'm 60 pounds overweight and have never been on a date because I'm obese and every diet has failed me. I appear to my friends that I'm a happy-bubbly teen, but in reality I'm miserable.

My parents are both overweight; therefore, I don't know if I'm doomed to be obese all of my life or if I can eventually look like a healthy, normal young lady. Any advice will be appreciated. — Nameless, Ontario, Calif.

NAMELESS: Most overweight teens consume more calories than their body needs during the day. But for some young people, a glandular disorder is the culprit. It's imperative that your parents make an appointment and accompany you for a consultation with your family doctor. You will then find out the reasons why you are overweight and, with the help and guidance of your parents, you can devise a plan to start turning things around.

If your eating habits need restructuring, your doctor can put you in touch with a dietician who will help you make healthy eating choices. Eating properly and exercising regularly are the keys. They take self-discipline and dedication, but you are already motivated. You just need a focus.

I'm positive you will succeed this time. Write to me in a few weeks and let me know how things are going for you. I care!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, AUGUST 12, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Needs to Stay Positive and will Soon Find Date

DR. WALLACE: I am a 19-year-old male college student. I am funny, fairly intelligent, and I abstain from drugs, alcohol and tobacco.

However, I am also shy, highly insecure, and become very nervous around girls. As a result, I have never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl and never been on a date. My only two experiences with girls were terrible. I asked one girl to the prom, but she made me look very foolish for it. Another time my friend set me up with a girl — she stood me up.

All this has led me to wonder if I'll ever date a girl, or whether I'm destined to be single my entire life. Is there any hope for someone in my position? And if so, what is it? I greatly admire what you do to help teens and I hope you can assist me, too. — Nameless, Greenville, Miss.

NAMELESS: Don't give up hope! I'm positive your destiny is to fall in love, marry and raise a family. Just be patient with yourself. Meeting someone of the opposite sex takes longer for the shy than the glib, but trust the fact that you have many good qualities that will shine through when you do begin to date.

For now, my best advice is to get involved in life. You have a vast array of options in college: join clubs, work for the student paper, take a drama class, participate in intramural sports or work for the presidential candidate of your choice. The more active you are, the more people you'll meet and the more friends you'll make, including young women. You'll be dating one of them in no time.

Any number of fabulous coeds at your college would be thrilled to meet and go out with you. You need to believe in yourself in order to find them.

Presently you are much too hard on yourself — smiles attract, frowns detract. Smile and people will enjoy your company.

TEEN SHOULD CALL FOR ANOTHER DATE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and have an unusual problem. My best friend asked me to do her a big favor. She wanted me to go out with her brother's friend — he had never been on a date because he was "sort of a dork." Well, being the good friend that I am, I said yes.

It was supposed to be just one date. Guess what happened? I really enjoyed the evening and I'd like to go out with him again, but I know he's too shy to call me. Should I contact him? If I do, I know that Jason will say yes, but my best friend might think I'm really odd to be dating someone she considers dorky. I don't think that he is a dork.

What should I do? — Joanne, Weirton, W.Va.

JOANNE: By all means, contact him. What matters is how you feel about Jason, not what anyone else says about him.

The "dork" judgment is one of the cruelest names that teens impose on other teens; it always says far more about the insecurity of those on the giving than the receiving end. It's never fair or right.

I've read that both David Letterman and Jay Leno, for instance, have said that they were considered dorks or nerds in high school. And Academy Award-winning actress Julia Roberts thought she was an "ugly duckling" as a teen.

Ignore your best friend and give Jason a call.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Girls are Just as Successful in Math as Boys

TEENS: Who perpetrated the myth that girls have below average math skills? A study by the University of Wisconsin shows no gender disparity from second grade to 11th grade. The myth that boys are better in math has probably kept girls and women out of careers in technology and science.

According to Janet Hyde who led the study, women are now earning 48 percent of undergraduate degrees in math. Researchers compared the performances of over 7 million elementary and high school students and found no difference in the scores of girls versus boys. Two decades ago, studies discovered that girls and boys did equally well in elementary school, but girls fell behind when entering high school. Not so anymore.

"Girls have now achieved gender parity in performance on standard math tests," said Ms. Hyde.

The theory that boys are better in math has been eliminated. This exciting news will now encourage girls to compete head-to-head with the boys from algebra to calculus. Move over guys, the gals have arrived.

GRANDMOTHER MISINFORMED ON ONLY-CHILD QUALITIES

DR. WALLACE: My parents are both attorneys, and I hope someday to enter the field of law as well. I am an only child. I don't know the reason why and I never asked. My dad tells people who inquire that I am a perfect child; he knew that he couldn't improve with additional children. That makes me feel good.

My grandmother (Mom's mom) came from a very large family with seven siblings, so she keeps telling my family that being an only child will mean I'll become a maladjusted teen. I'm 12, get good grades and have a lot of friends. Please tell me that my grandmother is wrong. — Susan, Newark, N.J.

SUSAN: Grandmother couldn't be further off base. In fact, only-children have many advantages over their peers with siblings. They actually have higher IQs, and test higher in creativity, abstract reasoning, mechanical reasoning, mathematics, reading comprehension and English skills, according to an extensive study conducted by the American Institute for Research.

There are many myths about only-children, but most of them false. Your grandmother should know better than to perpetuate them at your expense. Shame on her!

RELIGION COURSE COULD BE A GOOD LEARNING TOOL

DR. WALLACE: Do you think a religion class is suitable for a public high school? Our school board is considering it, but my parents and I don't like the idea; we plan to get legal help to stop it from happening.

Your comments, please. — Jordan, Cosgrove, Texas.

JORDAN: I'm sure the considered course wouldn't violate any laws. It is probably a general course in comparative religion, discussing the different religions of the world. This type of class would be an excellent addition to any school's curriculum — it could bring about the understanding and tolerance that is desperately needed in our world today.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, AUGUST 14, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Needs to Respect Girlfriend's Parents and Their Rules

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19. My 18-year-old girlfriend is a high school graduate and works as a hairdresser. We are in a serious relationship and have discussed marriage.

My problem is that her parents are extremely strict. They just don't understand that their daughter is a legal adult and can make her own decisions, especially about what time she needs to be home from a date. My girlfriend and I go out every Friday and Saturday night. Her parents have set an 11:30 p.m. curfew; they won't deviate by one second.

I told my girlfriend that she should set her own reasonable curfew (at least 12:30 a.m.), and her parents couldn't do anything about it except kick her out of her house. Then she could move in with her girlfriend's family who has already said that would be OK.

My girlfriend refuses to do that, even though she has told me she loves me more than any other human being on earth. If that's true, why doesn't she defy her unreasonable parents?

I'm considering going face-to-face with her parents and demanding that their daughter be allowed to have an extra hour added to her curfew. Why should Erin and I suffer because of extremely out-of-touch strict parents?

If I do meet with her parents, I'd do it when Erin isn't there because she might get upset at some of my demands. Do you think I should discuss only their curfew time? Should I add a couple of other disagreements I have with them? — Byron, Laguna Beach, Calif.

BYRON: My guess is that patience is not one of your virtues. If you love this young woman, calm down and live with the curfew. What on earth do you think you would accomplish by mouthing off to her mom and dad, except to guarantee a quick end to the relationship?

Forcing Erin to choose between you and her parents — indeed, to contemplate moving out of her house over the matter of an extra hour with you on Friday and Saturday nights — is foolish and immature, but worst of all, remarkably insensitive toward your girlfriend. If she actually does love you, foisting such a cruel choice on her would be crushing.

I urge you to be smart about this situation — keep it in perspective. A strict 11:30 p.m. curfew may, from your point of view, be a nuisance, but it's hardly unusual. Many parents set strict curfews; it's their prerogative. Thank your lucky stars that you are given permission to date such a wonderful girl at all.

Rather than denouncing mom and dad from the high horse of your ego, focus on turning yourself into a young man they can trust. If you are able to do this, they might slowly loosen up on the reins and push her curfew back.

Even if they don't, the fact that you are acting respectfully toward mom and dad would demonstrate to Erin that you also respect — and really love — her. I'm sure she would be tremendously appreciative. Take a moment to imagine how hard things are for her right now, being caught between you and her parents.

Believe me, Byron, if you don't wise up and start acting like a compassionate young man instead of a jerk, you will soon be calling Erin your ex-girlfriend.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, AUGUST 15, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Should Give New High School a Chance

DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and in the eighth grade at a public school. My parents are making me attend a private high school connected with our church next year. They have already enrolled me in the private school and have paid the tuition.

I really don't want to go to this private school. All my friends will be going to the public high school and I'll miss them very much. My new school doesn't have a football team, won't sponsor school dances and lacks other fun activities.

I've pleaded and begged my parents to allow me to attend our public school, but they won't listen to me. They read about all the drugs and violence in public schools — it scares them. Once in awhile, there are a few fights between students during the lunch break at my school, but I've never seen any drugs or weapons.

One of my friends told me that many times there are more discipline problems in a private school than in a public school. Please tell me what I can do to convince my parents to allow me to go to our public high school. I would then gladly transfer out if trouble ever shows up. — Kelly, Phoenix.

KELLY: Since your parents have already paid tuition, there's probably no way to reverse their decision. My best advice can only be to make the best of the situation. Right now you are understandably upset that you will be separated from your friends, and your focus is on your sense of loss. But now it's time to take a look at what you have to gain.

I urge you to give your new school a chance. Your experiences will be different than those you would have at the public high school, but not inferior. You'll make new friends and have the opportunity to take classes that might not be offered at the public school. The quality of your experiences at the new school will depend 100 percent on what you put into them.

Students can get a good education, or be miserable failures, at either school. Do your best at your new school and you're sure to be a success.

HEIGHT OF PARENTS ISN'T THE ONLY HEREDITY FACTOR

DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and almost 6 feet tall. My dad is about 5 feet 8 inches and my mom is 5 feet 5 inches. By the time I stop growing, I'll probably be about 6 feet 2 inches. My aunt is a science teacher, and she has told me that height is inherited and my father couldn't be my biological father. This really has me confused; I can't ask my parents about this.

My aunt and my father don't like each other. Is it possible that my father isn't my biological father? Please answer my letter. — Nameless, Nashua, N.H.

NAMELESS: Your aunt is meddlesome and extremely foolish. At the very least, she needs a refresher course in heredity. A person's height is unpredictable — a function of many factors other than the height of his or her parents, such as the height of grandparents, great-grandparents and other relatives. Diet and illness are also causes.

I personally have a good friend who is 5 feet 4 inches tall, but his son is a strapping 6 feet 2 inches. He has his father's looks, blonde hair and blue eyes, but is 10 inches taller. This is not unusual.

Your aunt is not only confused about heredity, but also is maliciously engaged in a game of trying to wreck your family, using you as a pawn. It doesn't get much lower than that; keep as much distance from her as you can.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, AUGUST 16, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Should Move in with Friend when Father Returns

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and live alone with my mother. My parents were divorced a year ago, and the day they were divorced was the happiest day of my life.

My father physically and emotionally abused my mother when he had been drinking, and he was drunk most of his waking hours. He paid little attention to me, unless he wanted me to get him a beer out of the refrigerator. He never hit me but crushed me emotionally. The year my father has been absent from our house has been wonderful. Mom and I are close and, for the first time, we've enjoyed being a "family."

About a month ago, my dad started calling my mother and inviting her out to dinner. I advised her not to go, but she didn't listen to me. I guess mom and dad have been together about half a dozen times. She starts to tell me about their "date," but I tell her I'm not interested.

Last night mom told me that dad is planning to move in with us next month. She says he's sorry for the grief he caused us; he wants the opportunity to show us that he has become a "new man."

I don't believe that. All he is a useless con man and has done a great job of conning my mom. I don't want him back in this house and I told mom; however, she says she still loves my father and, if things work out with him, they will remarry. If they don't, she'll toss him out again.

At this time in my life I'm more worried about my happiness than I am of my mother's happiness. I'll be a senior in September and will be attending college after I graduate. I told mom to wait until I leave for college before she allows my dad back into the house; she says they can't wait that long.

I have no respect for this man. He is my father biologically, but that's all. I talked with my best friend and her parents who, with my mom's blessing, will allow me to live with them until I graduate from high school. My best friend and I are extremely close and her parents are super.

Do you see any reason why I shouldn't leave the house if my father moves back in? Maybe if I'm not present, the two of them might have a better chance of reconciliation. — Nameless, Dallas.

NAMELESS: I'm happy to hear that you have an option in this matter. By all means, move in with your friend's family the day your father takes up residence at your house.

Your mother is entitled to try for a second shot at happiness with her ex-husband, but not at your expense.

If by some miracle your father proves himself to be a caring, loving, alcohol-free man, then you can always return home. If he really is a new man, he will seek your forgiveness with humility and patience. If he tries to browbeat you into believing that he has changed, it's proof that he's the same old jerk.

Until you are convinced that he has truly changed, stay away. But keep in close contact with your mother.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.