DR. WALLACE: I will be a freshman at Northern Illinois University next September. My problem is that I'm not sure what kind of work I want to do after I earn my degree. Is this unusual? I would hate to wind up with a degree in education and then decide I don't want to be a teacher.

Will you please shed a little light on this for me? And can you tell me how your college degree helped you to reach your goals? — Lindsey, Elgin, Ill.

LINDSEY: Your situation is not the least bit unusual. An important facet of your college education is discovering yourself and what you want to do in life. By no means is it necessary, or even desirable, that you enter college certain of your career path. Most schools don't even require you to declare a major until you've finished your second year.

In a survey of over 3,000 12th graders by Careers and College magazine, 80 percent said they did not have clear career goals. Most said their prime interest was to find meaningful work. Some 65 percent said job satisfaction was the most important factor influencing career choice; another 10 percent cited making a contribution to society. The remaining 25 percent said their chief motivation was salary.

What were the most popular career goals among high school students? The field of science and health was highest, at 38 percent, followed by communications (14 percent), finance (7 percent), government (5 percent) and professional athletics (4 percent).

All that's necessary right now, Lindsey, is that you begin thinking about possible career interests. An open mind and willingness to explore will serve you far better in college than rigid certainty — self-discovery is the key. When you know yourself, you're far less likely to embark on a career you lack the heart to pursue.

You are a wise young lady for choosing to further your education at NIU. It's a special university offering a myriad of programs to help all students reach their goals. I was fortunate to have chosen NIU as a graduate student when teaching and coaching basketball became my passion. My undergraduate liberal arts degree at Knox College, with a major in sociology, provided a solid foundation for writing a syndicated column for teens, although I had no plans at the time to become a writer.

When I entered Knox, I had no thoughts of what form of employment would provide enjoyment, self-satisfaction and the desire to help others to become good citizens. Knox and NIU provided the formal background. It was then up to me to use what innate skills I possessed to reach my goal.

Lindsey, it will take time, but eventually experience will stimulate your interests in the direction of an exciting, enjoyable and fulfilling vocation. Trust me!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Coed Birthday Party Shouldn't Be Considered a Date

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and I'm not allowed to date until I'm 15. My best girlfriend is having a birthday party and has invited both boys and girls. After the party, her parents are inviting all the kids to a pizza parlor for pizza and soft drinks.

One of the boys who will be at the event is someone I really like, and he likes me. My parents know this and do not want me to attend the pizza parlor. They say that since Caleb will be there, it amounts to a date.

I feel totally ripped off. This is not a date! Sixteen kids and my best friend's parents will be there.

I'd like your opinion and please hurry. The party takes place in two weeks. — Nameless, Goshen, Ind.

NAMELESS: I agree. The "pizza fest" should not be considered as a date, and your parents would be making a mistake by not allowing you to enjoy a birthday party for your best friend.

Sixteen teens and chaperone parents will ensure that you return home safe and sound after having an enjoyable time with your peers.

STEPFATHER NEEDS TO GIVE TEEN PRIVACY

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and live with my mother and stepfather. My parents were divorced two years ago, and mom married my stepfather three months ago. I have no feelings one way or another about him: I don't really like him, but I don't hate him either.

But there is one thing that he does that really bothers me. When I'm in my bedroom, many times he will open the door and walk right in, "just to see what I'm doing." I'm never doing anything wrong, but it bugs me that I don't have a little privacy.

When I complained to my mom, she just laughed and said my stepfather never had any children of his own and was just getting a little "on the job" training. I don't see it that way. I see it as an invasion of my privacy. Do you agree? — Nameless, Elizabeth, Ky.

NAMELESS: I agree with you 100 percent. He'll get his "on the job" training during the normal course of daily life. Part of that training should involve learning how to respect boundaries. He should never enter your bedroom — ever — without your permission.

Make sure your mother reads this column.

AVOID FLIRTING WITH OTHER GUYS WHEN ON A DATE

DR. WALLACE: I'm going steady with Kevin. When I'm out with him, I flirt with other guys; this makes him mad. I told him I didn't care if he flirted with other girls when we're together. He won't do it.

Since I've given him the same opportunity, do you think it's all right if I flirt? I'm a "flirty" kind of person. It's not that it's obscene to flirt. Or is it? — Carly, Talladega, Ala.

CARLY: Flirting can be a wonderful pastime, but not when one is out on a date!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Parents Can Give Allowance as Funds for Future Needs

DR. WALLACE: I remember reading the letter from the young lady who was upset that her parents suspended her allowance after she got a part-time job. Although I wasn't compelled to write you then, I had to voice my opinion after reading the responses from parents over your advice.

I completely disagree with you and heartily agree with those parents that said allowances should stop once the teen starts earning money. I, too, had my allowance suspended after I received my first part-time job a year ago. I had been getting $20 a week from my parents (though some thought that excessive, I paid for all my own clothes, shoes, gasoline and toiletries). When I found my job, my father decided to do away with my allowance. But I understood that would be the case even before he mentioned it aloud. Why should he pay me when I get money from someone else?

Instead of giving me an allowance, he opened a Roth IRA in my name for $2,000. I am now 18 and have complete control over my future. I know my retirement years are set from the money my father gave me, and I am saving another $2,000 to put into the IRA next year. I still pay for all my own necessities — clothes, gas, school supplies — as well as my own bills. I have two credit cards in my own name; my parents refused to cosign because if I mess up my credit, I have to bail myself out. I have yet to miss a payment or exceed my credit limit.

I have never begrudged my father for discontinuing my allowance. Quite the opposite; I thank him for ensuring my financial well-being in the future. Not only is my retirement taken care of, I know how to budget my income and live within my means.

Thanks to him, I'm looking forward to attending Florida State University in the fall — with 100 percent paid tuition — and moving out of my house a financially independent young woman ready to face the world. — Samantha, Palm Bay, Fla.

SAMANTHA: You have very wise parents. I did say that parents should continue to give their children an allowance, even after the child is working part-time if the parents could afford it. I felt the child would be "punished" financially for earning an honest dollar.

I've changed my mind after reading your letter. Parents should stop giving allowances after their children earn money with income from part-time employment. The "allowance money" can continue with the funds being placed in an account to be used for a future worthwhile project.

SUICIDE IS NUMBER TWO KILLER OF TEENS

DR. WALLACE: Please settle this family debate. What is the leading cause of death for teens? My parents think it is death by misuse of illegal drugs. I say it is suicide. Who's right? — Bethany, Clarksdale, Miss.

BETHANY: According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, the leading cause of death for teens is motor vehicle crashes. Suicide is in second place.

One would think that teens have too much to live for to commit suicide, but this age group has the second highest percentage of suicides, exceeded only by those who are between the ages of 60 and 70.

It isn't easy being a teen!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen Needs to Be Patient Regarding New Relationship

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 15-year-old girl who needs a lot of advice. Preston and I met three weeks ago at a birthday party for a mutual friend. Instantly, we hit it off. We have dated four times and have talked on the telephone every night since we met. I've expressed my feelings to him, so he knows exactly how much I care for him. He also said he likes me very much.

Now I feel we're ready for a serious relationship. He thinks we're rushing things and there's no need to become too serious too soon. His last serious relationship with a girl ended painfully for him when she dumped him for another guy.

How can I get him to understand that we were made for each other and I would never hurt him? All I want is a chance for us to grow in our mutual love. Is this asking too much? — Nameless, East Moline, Ill.

NAMELESS: I think you're getting too serious too fast. Be patient and enjoy getting to know him. Pressing the issue could scare Preston away. If he cares for you as much as you care for him, it won't be long before the two of you are a "couple."

TEEN SHOULD REMAIN ON HEALTHY DIET AND EXERCISE PROGRAM

DR. WALLACE: I live with my mother and her sister (my aunt). Both of them are grossly overweight. The main reason is that they overeat on fattening foods loaded with cream, butter and mayonnaise sauces.

I'm 15 and also was overweight, but I didn't like the way I looked. I started a regular walking program and eat only nutritious fruits and vegetables. In the past three months, I've lost 15 pounds and want to lose another 20 pounds.

My aunt is upset because I'm trimming down. She feels that people are happier when they are large. She says the idea that overweight people are not healthy is just "junk" put out by the fashion industry. My mom doesn't say anything because my aunt owns the house.

Please answer my letter. I want my aunt to read your response. — Sissy, Lake Charles, La.

SISSY: Overeating and its consequence, obesity, is the major nutritional problem of Americans and Canadians, according to Grant Gwinup, professor of medicine at the University of California at Irvine. Overweight people die at increased rates of everything you can think of: heart disease, cancer, diabetes, gall bladder disease, liver disease and brain disease.

"The fatter one is, the greater one's chances are to have these diseases," says Gwinup. "Not only do the diseases eventually cause death, they also change the quality of one's life by destroying one's health. Statistics on thin people tend to indicate that the less fat a person carries, the better."

As long as a person is eating three well-balanced meals a day, Gwinup feels that it is almost impossible to be too thin. That should keep your aunt quiet for a while.

Continue your healthy eating program!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Sluggish Economy Increases Cost for College Educations

PARENTS: How will our present economic downturn affect the cost of your child's college education? The tuition fees for the 2008-09 school year for public four-year public institutions average $6,585 per year, while the average tuition per year for a private four-year institution is $25,143.

Unfortunately, the Council on Education, a coalition of over 1,600 college and university presidents, announced that conditions could force the highest tuition jumps in more than 10 years. Low on tax revenue, state governments are starting to slash funding to state institutions, while private schools suffer from a depressed stock market that offsets lower endowments, and fewer and smaller gifts from corporations and alums.

A child's college education is a top family priority. Detailed planning, spending cuts and avoiding high cost items are a good start. The sooner you begin this college plan for "Dick and Jane," the better chance they will eventually become proud college or university graduates.

COMPASSIONATE READER TAKES CARE OF HER UNLOVING MOTHER

DR. WALLACE: I'm writing in response to the letter from the 12-year-old girl who wanted to move in with a married sister because her mother was cruel, unloving and constantly blamed the girl for breaking up her two marriages. I thank God that you told her to move to her sister's house. The sister also wanted her to make the move.

I am 65 and my mother is 87. I am my mother's primary caregiver and she is very nice to me now; however, my earliest memories are of my mother telling me that her life would have been so much better if I had never been born and that I was a "big overgrown ox." That was because I was always the tallest girl in my class and usually the tallest student, including the boys.

I begged my mother to allow me to live with my grandparents, who wanted me, but my mother always refused. To my mother I was a total disappointment. She is an unloving and unloved person. Some women should never have been mothers. As the Bible says, "Honor thy mother," but the Good Book doesn't say we have to like her. — Nameless, Sidney, Ohio.

NAMELESS: How difficult it must be to grow up with an unloving mother — thank goodness they're the rare exception. But I can tell from your letter that you rose above your unhappy childhood and became a compassionate, caring adult, bestowing love even on the mom who rejected you.

The big life loser is your mother, who failed to love her own child and stunted herself as a human being.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Grandma's Name-Calling Hurts Granddaughter's Feelings

DR. WALLACE: I'm engaged to a wonderful fellow named Cletus. We plan to be married next summer. We're 20 and we both graduated from high school. I work as a hairdresser and he works in his grandfather's construction business. He's everything I could ever want in a husband. He has a multitude of positives and very few negatives. My parents are also in love with him; they think we make a perfect couple.

My problem is my grandmother, who happens to live with us. Basically, she is a nice person that can be a bit testy at times. She doesn't think I should marry him because anyone named Cletus is a wimp. In fact, to me, she never calls him Cletus. It's always: "Wimpy is on the phone for you."

Thank goodness he has never heard my grandmother make her derogatory remarks. I'm afraid that someday he might, so I try to keep a distance between them. I've talked to my dad about Grandma's behavior (she's his mother), but he dismisses it as the "ramblings of an old lady" and encourages me to pay no heed to what she says.

Should I call a family meeting and iron this thing out — make Grandma behave herself? Or should I dismiss her comments because she is an unwise old lady? I'd like to have the family meeting, but I'm sure it's the wise thing to do. I've tried to talk to Grandmother one-on-one to let her know that I didn't like her calling Cletus "Wimpy," but she just overpowers me and tells me that "the truth hurts."

Your comments will be appreciated. — Nameless, Orlando, Fla.

NAMELESS: You need to find some way to get Grandma to curb her nasty tongue. You could try bringing her and Cletus together and let her get to know him. Once she sees his good qualities, she may realize her granddaughter is going to marry a terrific guy.

But I understand this may not work. If she thinks that making fun of his name is telling you "the truth," she may not be on very firm ground mentally. If she shows no sign of changing her behavior on her own, have the family meeting. You need to make your parents — especially Dad — understand how distressing and hurtful her comments are to you, and get them to lay down the law to her.

You can't go on shielding Cletus from Grandma forever. If she refuses to come to her senses, you'll just have to warn your fiancŽ that she's a mean-spirited old lady no one listens to anymore.

HAVING ONE CIGARETTE DOESN'T CLASSIFY YOU AS A SMOKER

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and recently filled out an application to work as a food server at a nice restaurant. I really would like the job. One of the questions was, "Do you now smoke?" My answer was no. The next question was, "Have you ever smoked?" I had to think a few minutes and then I answered no.

Well, when I was 14, my best friend swiped a pack of cigarettes from her mother and she talked me into smoking one. It's the only time I have ever had a lit cigarette in my mouth. I tried to inhale the smoke, but I started coughing and never really got any smoke down into my lungs.

To this day I regret that I "smoked" one cigarette. Should I have been totally honest and answered the question with a yes answer? I'm not losing any sleep over this, but I also want to be honest. — Nameless, Rochester, Minn.

NAMELESS: I'm happy you didn't lose any sleep over this. Neither did I. Without a doubt, you can be classified as a 100 percent nonsmoker!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.