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RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Readers: Several readers have written to say it was easier to get off cocaine than …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with kidney disease. My mother told me …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Too many parents have no idea what goes on all day in school, and yet, …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am the mother of a very confused 5-year-old boy. His father and I …Read more.
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Classic Ann Landers (R), March 7

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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I am in a relationship with a wonderful, caring man I will call "Ed." We are both widowed and senior citizens. Before our spouses died, we were a foursome, and the two of us later found strength and comfort in one another.

My problem is with Ed's son, "John," his only child. John is 49 years old. He left home when he was 21 and started living life in the fast lane. He never has held a full-time job, and has been in and out of rehab for drug abuse. When his mother died, John received a sizable inheritance and blew it all within two years. The only time he contacted his father was when he needed financial help. Five years ago, he phoned Ed and asked if he could move back home.

John now lives with his father, and has turned what was once a lovely house into a pigsty. He is a lazy, selfish slob who leaves dirty dishes all over the place and dirty clothes on the floor, and his father has to clean up after him. Ed was once energetic and loved to travel. Now, he has lost interest in everything. Just recently, he was so stressed out, he had to be hospitalized for several days.

Ann, please advise me. Should I butt out? I just want to see this wonderful man enjoy his golden years. — No Name, No State

Dear N.N.N.S.: I do not recommend that you try to talk sense into Ed about his son, because if you do, you will be the loser. Unfortunately, Ed is so grateful to have his son back in his life that he is willing to put up with John's slovenly ways and stress-inducing behavior.

But please don't abandon Ed.

He needs you now more than ever. Offer him a refuge by asking him over to your home for dinner, and invite him to go dancing and see a movie now and then. Give him the name of a good cleaning service so he doesn't have to pick up after his slob of a son. And let's hope John grows up soon and decides it's time he made a decent life for himself.

Dear Ann Landers: My boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship, except for one thing. I am ashamed of the way "Hank" speaks. He has almost stopped saying "ain't" and rarely uses the Lord's name as a cuss word, but he continues to say "I done something" or "I don't want no apples." If I correct him, he becomes angry.

Hank had to quit school after the eighth grade in order to support his widowed mother. He says that's why his English is so poor. Ann, children in the third grade have better grammar skills than he does. Hank is anxious to marry me, but frankly, I'm concerned about what my friends will think of him. Please give me some advice. — Perplexed in California

Dear Calif.: Tell Hank his poor grammar will stand in the way of success in every aspect of his life, and that he can and SHOULD do something about it. If he is willing, offer to pay a college student to tutor Hank on the basics, and rehearse with him daily. If you praise him on the slightest sign of improvement, you can win this one. Good luck.

"A Collection of My Favorite Gems of the Day" is the perfect little gift for that special someone who is impossible to buy for. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Collection, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM

ANN LANDERS 1/1/99 Page 11


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4 Comments | Post Comment
Hank's poor grammar will definitely hurt him in all aspects of life. His dropping out in 8th grade has nothing to do with it, either, as you said. If this grates on you--it would on me--I wouldn't marry him because it will definitely have a detrimental influence on your marriage if you look down on him in any way. If he isn't interested in improving, you should let him go to find someone who can love him as he is. None of us use perfect English and none of us are perfect, but don't marry into a situation where something already grates on you, especially if he gets angry when you try to correct him. You will turn into a nag and he will always be angry and on edge. You can''t help how you feel but Hank can help how he talks. You are not a terrible person for having an opinion about something like this.
Comment: #1
Posted by: BB
Sun Mar 7, 2010 11:59 AM
I did marry someone wihth this problem and it was a huge issue in our marriage. Don't forget about any children you might have, either. I have spent countless hours pleading with this man to clean up his grammar, to no avail. He still sounds like a moron and even though we are now divorced, I still have to correct him in front of his child, and I have no qualms in doing so because I can see first hand how this issue has crippled this man in all aspects of his life. I won't stand for my child having the same poor grammar skills. As far as this issue in my marriage? Well, it really made me resent him for the embarrassment it caused and for his lack of caring enough about himself to want to change it. I say: "Run for the hills!"
Comment: #2
Posted by: N
Mon Mar 8, 2010 4:30 AM
It doesn't matter what your opinion on this is, the issue has been resolved one way or another for a long time now. The letter appeared in newspapers 11 years ago.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Janie
Mon Mar 8, 2010 9:54 PM
Re: Janie. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. We have no idea how the story turned out, and so we like to pretend that the LW is reading the comments. Besides, pretty much every issue I've seen reprinted in this column is still going on in homes around the nation and world. Too much sex, not enough sex, annoying neighbors, incorrigible children, irritating co-workers. The list goes on. Some things never change.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Matt
Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:08 AM
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