Q. We're having a difficult time with our 8-year-old daughter. She's very emotional and is unable to let things go. Last week, she had some issues with her asthma and was continually telling us she couldn't catch her breath. We even had to pick her up at a sleepover. We had her checked out and everything came back fine. However, for an entire week she worried and told us she couldn't breathe. It even affected her ability to go to swim lessons because she was so stressed out.

Her fears about breathing eventually went away, and now she has a new fear of death after hearing a reading in church on Sunday. She sits up at night and calls us, saying she can't sleep because she's afraid. In the morning, she gets emotional and doesn't want us to (Mom and Dad) leave her. This morning, she had to be restrained by her nanny so I could leave the house. I'm concerned things are getting worse and that she has serious problems. Any suggestions?

A. The symptoms you're describing suggest your daughter is experiencing more than the typical child's fears and would benefit from an evaluation by a psychologist. I'll make some suggestions to help you and her immediately, while you're waiting to get professional help.

Try not to overreact to her fears by describing your worries about there being something wrong. That will only cause her to worry more. Instead, patiently explain away her fears briefly and try to distract her with other interests. Also, be sure not to talk to other adults about your daughter's fears within her hearing, or she'll feel unable to become more courageous.

If leaving the house becomes a daily battle, you can reward her with points for pleasant goodbyes and she can save them for buying something special when she has saved enough points.

If bedtime is especially frightening, a cup of warm milk, a hot bath and bedtime stories may calm her. Relaxation music can be soothing and mask the normal household creaks that often frighten children.

Any one of your daughter's fears alone are normal fears that most children have. It's only because she has more of them, and they seem to last longer and reoccur that suggests she seems to be a more sensitive and fearful child. With time and assistance, it's likely you can help her become more courageous. When she shows courage, be sure to comment on her bravery so she begins to recognize she's capable of courage. You will be surprised at how much braver she becomes when she hears adults talking about her new courage. Gradually, she can become less anxious as she matures.

For a free newsletter about fears and fearful children, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or visit www.sylviarimm.com to read "The Foundational Principles of Parenting."

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.