Q. I have a 15-year-old son whom I don't consider an underachiever. He finds it important to get good grades and doesn't intentionally try to fail. But all he likes to do is play video games and watch TV, which he'll gladly spend hours at a time doing by himself. He's not interested in sports or any other extracurricular activities. He also doesn't take initiative with his schoolwork. He's very bright and articulate, but if we didn't "push" him to do better, he'd be satisfied with less. He's an A or B student who would be a B or C student if not for us.

He isn't self-motivated, or an initiator of much of anything. He goes with the flow, but doesn't plan much of a social life for himself. He's a very personable young man and well liked by all; He just seems content with doing whatever he HAS to do and not much more. He gained quite a bit of weight during the past year and isn't physically active. My husband and I have scheduled counseling for him, but are there any recommended books we can read prior to the counseling?

A. Your son sounds like a pleasant, nice enough young man who may perhaps have had too much done for him. While all kids enjoy TV and video games, he'll need some limits to his screen time to tear himself away from passivity and into the world of action. While he doesn't have to participate in a team sport, he does need physical activity for his health. He might find cross- country track, golf, or weight lifting to his liking. With so little activity, his weight gain can become a much more serious problem. He isn't too old for you and his father to insist that he exercise at least three or four times a week.

Although his grades are fine, your son is somewhat of an underachiever. It's time for him to take personal responsibility for his own work and deal with the consequences of his lack of motivation.

When his grades fall, you can express your disappointment, but it's no longer your job to remind him of his daily assignments.

To build his initiative and confidence, your son is actually old enough to get a part-time job. While I usually suggest no more than ten hours a week for high school students, that could be enough to build his sense of responsibility and get him excited about actively working. With his love of video games and TV, he may be able to get part-time employment at a store that specializes in technology, and his skills may prove useful in selling video games and computer programs to others.

I've written books that could help with both his underachievement and inactivity, as well as his weight gain. "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades And What You Can Do About It" (Crown Publishing, 1995) will give you the keys to understanding his lack of motivation, and "Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children" (Rodale, 2004) can provide tips on dealing with his weight gain. Counseling is appropriate, but because your son has many good things happening in his life, it's possible that he'll show improvement with just a little help.

For free newsletters about underachievement, or rescuing the emotional lives of overweight children, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read, "Solving the Mysterious Underachievement Problem" at www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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