Here are more of the brain ticklers promised recently. They're designed to provoke new pathways in the cerebellum. Sometimes they're irritating; other times they're soothing; but they're always stimulating. Whatever your reaction, the ticklers are doing their job. More than that I cannot ask. Except that you give this latest offering a fair reading.

—As men grow and strengthen their Iron John manhood (see the book of the same name), they will be stronger and more grounded love partners. The men's movement is changing women, as women's liberation is changing men — not necessarily always in the same ways but with the common denominator of freedom. The goal of both movements, fundamentally, is to unshackle from stale stereotypes and energize all believers.

—Roses are red; violets are blue; but this Valentine's Day, make yours a "green" love offering, a gesture environmentally sound and eco-friendly. Plant a tree in honor of your beloved. Buy a pair of lovebirds to symbolize your togetherness. Because they cannot be separated, they can be housed one month in your home and the next in your partner's. This can be your first step in sharing with each other.

—Create love. The world never has enough, and it is self-sustaining. Meaning? The more you send out into the small version of the world that surrounds you, the more it reproduces and sends its ripples into the wider and wider world. It can permeate your personal world if you practice kindness wherever you go to whomever you happen to meet on your journey. Kindness is an undervalued commodity. Sometimes it's equated with weakness and sappiness, but don't sell it short. Being kind is in itself a power, a strength grossly underestimated. It has its own magnetism, magnetizing the goodness that lies at the heart. It conquers most hardened hearts, winning them over to the way of compassion. Do your part in sending it out into your world.

—Women are no longer seen as spinsters, rejects or old maids when they aren't married by the age of 40. That's because society is hip to the fact that financially secure females are more discerning than females were in the past. They will not marry Anyman. The men in their hearts need to be nurturers, supporters and friends. It's that or prolonged singleness.

—No doubt about it. Partnership has revamped love, a long way from the old stuff. We are in the middle of raising male awareness of what we want and what we don't want. Domination is slip sliding away. Men are realizing the pluses of a female partner, a helpmeet, and they are opening to another way of relating. (Exhale.) Men and women as partners. New concept but old as the hills. Ask any farmer.

—Interesting coincidence, this world's change. It seems to be headed in two directions at the same time. Countries are merging, boundaries melting, yet the hunger to be an individual is also making itself heard. Fellowship is in the air. At the same time, each of us wants undependence (ahem) and a unique voice. We want it expressed and heard and to be recognized as distinct. The best thing about this turn of events? The same combination — fellowship and individuality — is gaining its strength and is being seen as not only possible but also the very best thing that can happen.

—We need to remember that the need for sexuality is lifelong, inappropriate at no age or stage. It begins in utero and is brought to a close only on the last day. Always, always it is a personal matter. The only wrong is foisting one's sexual mores on another person. That is immoral and should be unthinkable. The issue of self-love is another matter that must be decided individually. It is an alternative to sexual neediness and as such can have a place among sexual options.

—Date rape is a reality at any age. Never lead on anyone you feel in your gut may be unstable, excitable or irrational. (And watch what you drink while you're with that person.) Don't worry about manners or courtesy in this situation. Better rude than raped.

—The degree of celibacy among the unmarried is astonishing. The most recent time I asked them (in my survey), 60 percent reported being sexually active once a month or less. Lots of the talk is just that — talk. Action is by far the road less taken. Remember that the next time you're conflicted about sharing your body.

Write to Susan Deitz c/o this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at [email protected].