Single File from Creators Syndicate

Odds and Risk for 05/21/2008

Wed, 21 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I'm divorced 13 years and the mother of three. Over the years, I've met some nice men, but the right one hasn't come along. I'm a practicing Catholic and find it hard to meet men with values like mine. Some friends say I'm too picky, but I don't agree. Do you think the odds of remarrying diminish after being single for so long? — Janice W., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR JANICE ...

Updated: Wed May 21, 2008

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Early Warning Signal for 05/23/2008

Fri, 23 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: My boyfriend and I have been going out for eight months, and now he's asking me to sleep with him. The problem is I'm only 16. I do love him very much, but I'm a virgin and I'm terrified. Can you help? — Bernadette B., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR BERNADETTE: Actually, your early warning signal is already on the job, paralyzing you into non-action. The fear it's sending is a ...

Updated: Fri May 23, 2008

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Fantasy for 05/28/2008

Wed, 28 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I've been dating the same woman for more than a year. I love her dearly, but I'd like a change in my sex life. (I only want a one-night stand.) My steady satisfies my sexual desires, but having an alternate lover has always been a fantasy of mine. Do you think it's wrong to consider having sex with a different woman? — Tyler H., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR TYLER: Fantasizing ...

Updated: Wed May 28, 2008

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Once a Cheat … for 05/30/2008

Fri, 30 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: For the past five months, I've been dating a married college professor. We've become extremely close physically and emotionally. He says his marriage is going downhill and asks me to be patient.

I want to trust him, but I know that once a cheat always a cheat. I don't know whether I should wait for him or not. What advice do you have for me? — Olivia D., Long Island, N. ...

Updated: Fri May 30, 2008

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Spaces for 06/04/2008

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

"Love one another, but make not a bond of love;

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver ...

Updated: Wed Jun 04, 2008

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Crazy Like a Fox?! for 06/06/2008

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: You make me crazy! You, the big promoter of women being more forward, are suggesting that your reader try your ploys. Don't you know that they are exactly what men hate? Setting up some phony situation where the guy is supposed to "get the hint" is not making the first move — it's manipulative wishful thinking. And controlling. Cynthia C. should forget your advice an ...

Updated: Fri Jun 06, 2008

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Yo-Yo for 06/11/2008

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: Generally, your advice seems to be full of wisdom and insight. I just wonder, though, whether you had considered a different angle to the reader's extreme neediness in a recent column. Is it possible this man only wants someone who doesn't want him? And when someone actually does want him, he changes his mind. I think a lot of people fit that description. My first husband certainly ...

Updated: Wed Jun 11, 2008

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Singled In for 06/13/2008

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I've lived with a man for nearly three years. He won't marry me, and he won't let me make my own decisions about my life. I don't want to date other people, but I feel the other facets of my life need to be "single." — Louisa K., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR LOUISA: Pray tell me, fair damsel, what parts of your life AREN'T single?! You're on your own as far as the w ...

Updated: Fri Jun 13, 2008

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Our Share? for 06/18/2008

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: Hello again. The myth that all men will have sex with any willing woman was a good one to raise. And you did so very well, I thought. Now make the connection between that issue and women's reluctance to make a first move in sex, or (as I put it) unwilling to do their share of the "wanting." Hmm? — Bub Out (again), Santa Rosa, Calif.

DEAR BUB OUT: You do raise ...

Updated: Wed Jun 18, 2008

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The Bad Boys for 06/20/2008

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: Many women complain to you that a boyfriend won't commit or won't get a divorce, that there are no good men out there, or all the guy wants is sex. The news is full of women being killed or badly roughed up by jealous ex-boyfriends. And yet they gravitate toward the bad boys — and when they try to leave the relationship, it makes headline news. The other day I asked a petite c ...

Updated: Fri Jun 20, 2008

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Honesty for 06/25/2008

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I disagree with your answer to the man who asked women for dates and was given vague replies in return. This has happened to me over the years, and I've felt much the same way. The vagueness of their answers does much more harm than good. It prompts a man to make assumptions, which may or may not lead to the right conclusion. If he makes the wrong one, the woman may feel bothered an ...

Updated: Wed Jun 25, 2008

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Fire and Ice for 06/27/2008

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: You told a reader that a man who gives up on her because she doesn't want casual sex is "no loss." I agree, but please tell women that a man who doesn't make passes can be worthwhile. I'm someone who doesn't rush to the bedroom. Women seem to accept that, but some of them act much more distant when they find out that a man (me) didn't "light her fire" the first t ...

Updated: Fri Jun 27, 2008

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Nostalgia for 07/02/2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

The good old days? They're closer than you think. In fact, they're right here, alongside. Believe it: Upbeat memories are all around. And while they're the perfect fuel for sunny tomorrows, their real function is to add hope and encouragement to the ups and downs of our life journey. It's in that spirit that I'm reprising my son Scott's comments that became the epilogue of my second book. …

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Updated: Wed Jul 02, 2008

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Patterns and Exceptions for 07/04/2008

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I'm 36, single and happy with my career. But I've been told I'm too critical. I don't want someone to be a drag, but I find fault with every man in my life. For example, I'm seeing someone who's nice, but he annoys me. He'll say he enjoyed being with me but won't set a date for the next time. He says he likes spontaneity! He doesn't work much, but I have little free time anyway. &md ...

Updated: Fri Jul 04, 2008

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The Declaration of Undependence for 07/04/2008

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

More than one hundred million strong — and soon to become a majority — the single community affirms the undependent life.

I RESOLVE to think for myself in all situations rather than allow an "expert" to decide the course of my life. While I will remain open to wise counsel, I alone will make the final decision in matters affecting my life. And when there are shared ...

Updated: Fri Jul 04, 2008

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Speed Limits for 07/09/2008

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: Attractive people come in various shapes and sizes. For me, age 42, that means women in their mid-40s attract me as much as the ones in their mid-20s. I'd like to date all age groups. Do you think the 25-30 age group is realistic for me? — Amos W., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR AMOS: All you've told me about yourself deals with numbers and age limits. That's fine — dabbl ...

Updated: Wed Jul 09, 2008

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Marriage vs. Growth for 07/11/2008

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I've tried many things you suggested. I placed an ad but was quite disappointed. I joined a video service and so far haven't gone on a single date. It seems not many women join those services, and the ones I met from the newspaper ad misrepresented themselves. I used to go to places and parties for singles, but most of the women there seem "stuck up." Help! — Gavin G ...

Updated: Fri Jul 11, 2008

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Real Men for 07/16/2008

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I'm 89, spent years in the work force, many of them in defense plants working side by side with men, doing the exact same things as they did but with one huge difference: Their pay was much higher than mine! That rankled me, especially when I was assigned to teach them my job, because I knew they'd be paid more than I would. However, shortly before I retired some progress was made, ...

Updated: Wed Jul 16, 2008

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Helpful Addition for 07/18/2008

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: I've been reading your column for a long time, and I enjoy it. But I want to add to the one about breaking up:

— Men too get confused about moving on after a split. I remember my state of mind at that time.

— Therapists are not for everybody. If you find a good one who can help, you're very lucky.

— Finding friends of the same gender is essenti ...

Updated: Fri Jul 18, 2008

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Hillary as Metaphor for 07/23/2008

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

DEAR SUSAN: As a gay man, I've been intrigued and to a certain extent amused by the "men's issues" of my heterosexual counterparts. No matter how many layers the onion has, the core issue for straight men has always been, "I need to make sure I am manly enough and do/say/think/feel whatever it takes to not come across female-like."

If you need a clue, tune in to what ...

Updated: Wed Jul 23, 2008

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