The Word Guy from Creators Syndicate

This Column Is Just Dessert for 01/01/2008

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

Pop quiz! See whether you can select the correct word in each context:

1. At the end of the novel, the cruel villain got his just (deserts, desserts).

2. The two armadas engaged in a fierce (naval, navel) battle.

3. The threat of icebergs caused the ship to (shear, sheer) off course.

4. When the mayor announced the curfew, a loud (hew, hue) and cry arose from the cro ...

Updated: Tue Jan 01, 2008

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Serving English, Family Style for 01/09/2008

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

Readers responded to my recent request for insider terms used among family members with a wide array of delightful examples.

When Alice Robinson's little boys forgot to zip their flies, she would say, "xyz" ("examine your zipper"), while Mary Enright coined "wofm" ("watch out for mom"). The Vance family calls the soupy mix in the refrigerator crisp ...

Updated: Wed Jan 09, 2008

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There's Something Crooked About 'Change' for 01/16/2008

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

The word "change" clings like ChapStick to the lips of presidential candidates these days. But if Hillary and the chaps knew the origin of the word "change," they might not stick with it.

"Change" first appeared as both a verb and noun in Middle English during the 1200s. In 1300, for instance, a piece of writing dubbed "Cursor M." (which would mak ...

Updated: Wed Jan 16, 2008

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Why Teenagers, Like, Like 'Like' for 01/23/2008

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

"So we were all, like, hanging out. And then this guy comes over and starts, like, hassling us. Then he's all like, 'Get outta here!' And we were all, like, 'This is public property.'"

People write me all the time to complain about teenagers' talking like this. "Why does every other word have to be 'like'?" they ask. "It's a filler," they write, "a verb ...

Updated: Wed Jan 23, 2008

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There's Nothing Petty About These Peeves for 01/30/2008

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:00:00 -0800

Every once in a while, I ask readers to unleash their pet peeves. Let slip the dogs of words!

Bob Paquin of Columbia, Conn., detests the pretentious dropping of "the" in Briticisms such as "in hospital" and "vacationing out of country."

Judy Coleman of Quartzite, Ariz., thinks that asking, "Where are you at?" is definitely not where it's at. ...

Updated: Wed Jan 30, 2008

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Looking for Words in All the Wrong Places for 02/06/2008

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

Scientists studying the mating habits of bunnies recently reported an amazing discovery: "We observed the courting rabbits using binoculars."

Did bachelor bunnies use these devices to scope out the does? "Hey, Flopsy, check out the fluffy tail behind that tree!"

Ah, the joys of the misplaced modifier — descriptive words and phrases that end up where they ...

Updated: Wed Feb 06, 2008

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I Now Pronounce You "Man" and "Wyfe" for 02/13/2008

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

You say, "tuh-MAY-toh," and your husband says, "tuh-MAH-toh." Don't call the whole thing off! Even respected authorities disagree over the pronunciation of many words.

Can you select the pronunciations preferred by most (but not all) pronunciation experts?:

1. demur (to object, take exception to) — a. di-MYOOR; b. di-MUR

2. forte (a person's streng ...

Updated: Wed Feb 13, 2008

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Turn of the Screw for 02/20/2008

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

You're sitting on the floor with the instructions and pieces for the "easy-to-assemble" bookcase in front of you. You open the little bag of screws, only to discover that they're Phillips screws, the kind with those crisscross slots.

As you head downstairs to rummage through drawers for the only Phillips screwdriver in the house, you're likely to curse "Phillips," who ...

Updated: Wed Feb 20, 2008

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Getting Something for 'Nothing' for 02/27/2008

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 00:00:00 -0800

"Nothing is better than Aleve." That advertising slogan for the popular pain reliever drew this response from one of my waggish readers: "Nothing is better than Aleve, so I take nothing."

We use and encounter ambiguous phrases and sentences like this every day, often without pausing to consider their dubious logic. Like the slogan for Aleve, many of them involve the e ...

Updated: Wed Feb 27, 2008

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Only Things Certain Are Death and Syntaxes for 03/05/2008

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0800

The Republican pollster, consultant and wordsmith Frank Luntz sure knows how to tweak a phrase.

In 1994 he helped coin the term "Contract with America" for Congressional Republicans, and since then he's cleverly crafted conservative catchphrases for maximum appeal. It was Luntz, for instance, who advised Republicans that their efforts to abolish the inheritance tax would gain m ...

Updated: Wed Mar 05, 2008

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May Day! for 03/12/2008

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Q. I wonder why so many people use the phrase "may or may not," as in "I may or may not go." To my way of thinking, the word "may" implies either the positive or the negative (or both). The "may not" thus becomes redundant, doesn't it? — Wayne Reece, Nashville, Tenn.

A. Not always. You're right, of course, that "may" alone implies t ...

Updated: Wed Mar 12, 2008

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Hopefully, None of Us Are Confused for 03/19/2008

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Q. On Letterman's first show back, his Top 10 list had this: "I don't have a joke. I just want to remind everyone that we're on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list." Shouldn't it be "so none of us IS responsible"? — Barbara Wilkinson, East Haddam, Conn.

A. For a minute there, I thought you were going to ask me about the political correctness ...

Updated: Wed Mar 19, 2008

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Shedding Light on Landscape for 03/26/2008

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Olana, the magnificent home of landscape painter Frederic Church, sits atop a lofty hill near Hudson, N.Y. On a recent visit there, I encountered a sign describing efforts to preserve Olana's "viewshed."

Ah, I thought, a small shelter where aesthetes can contemplate the sublime vistas that inspired Church.

Well, not quite. Here "viewshed" refers, not to a shed, ...

Updated: Wed Mar 26, 2008

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BY ROB KYFF for 04/02/2008

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

RELEASE: WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 2008

Getting Divisive About 'Divisive'

Today, some random dispatches from the word front...

— When Sen. Barack Obama delivered his speech last month about race relations in America, he pronounced "divisive," not as "di-VY-siv," but as di-VIS-iv," a rendering that's gaining po ...

Updated: Wed Apr 02, 2008

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From the Mouths of Babes for 04/09/2008

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Several years ago, 3-year-old Joshua Wood was attending Mass with his father when he tugged on his father's sleeve. "Who is Speedy God?" Joshua asked.

Perplexed, his dad asked him what he meant.

Joshua replied that, when the person up front (the Lector) said, "The Word of the Lord," the people replied, "Thanks, Speedy God!" (Translation: "Thanks, ...

Updated: Wed Apr 09, 2008

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To 'E' or Not to 'E' for 04/16/2008

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Q. What is the difference between the suffixes "-or" and "-er"? That is, if one paints, he is a "painter," but, if one acts, he is an "actor." — Harry R. Wess, Sr., McKeesport, Pa.

A. The choice of "-or" or "-er" has bedeviled many painters and actors, not to mention ALL writers. Standards of spelling, like those of painti ...

Updated: Wed Apr 16, 2008

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This Word Wins No Bell Prize for 04/23/2008

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Q. Why are hand weights called "dumbbells"? — J. H., West Hartford, Conn.

It's hard to imagine these clunky objects having anything to do with a church, but that's where the term began.

The earliest meaning of "dumb," a word that appeared in English around A.D. 1000, was "incapable of speech, mute." This meaning produced "dumb show" (a ...

Updated: Wed Apr 23, 2008

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English Descends from Its Pedestal for 04/30/2008

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0700

A singles ad in a Texas newspaper read, "I'm looking for a man who will put me on a pedal stool." That blooper, spotted by John Bowman of San Antonio, was one of many verbal lulus sent to me recently by readers across the country. Can you spot the blots?

1. "The robber was described as a white man with a stalky to medium build." A stalker? (spotted by Phebe Krouse, Du ...

Updated: Wed Apr 30, 2008

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Sending in the 'Shock Tropes' for 05/07/2008

Wed, 07 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Some random dispatches from the word front . . .

Casting A Pall On Shock — When did it become mandatory for angry people to describe themselves as "shocked and appalled"?

Citizens are "shocked and appalled" by potholes, pooches and parking tickets. Public officials are "shocked and appalled" by crooks, cronies and crackpots. Newspaper readers ar ...

Updated: Wed May 07, 2008

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Jekyll Words Play 'Hyde' and Seek for 05/14/2008

Wed, 14 May 2008 00:00:00 -0700

A mom going out shopping leaves a note for her teenage son: "Please make sure the door is fast, then dust the tables and trim the Christmas tree." She returns to find the door hinges glistening with oil, the tables covered with thicker dust and the tree pruned to half its original size.

Ah, the paradoxes of English! Even the simplest words can have two opposite meanings. " ...

Updated: Wed May 14, 2008

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