Where does negative energy come from? In my case, phone calls. When my phone rings, I am conditioned to answer it. I grew up before answering machines and Caller ID.

One day, my oldest daughter, Scrappy, called to complain about a man she knew. I suggested she visualize getting along with him. "Why would I want to do that? I wouldn't walk across the street to have coffee with the man."

"Because you're wasting negative energy thinking about him," I said. "Take a deep breath, and blow it away. Then don't think about him again."

"Why are you talking like this?"

"I'm reading "The Secret," and it says ... "

"Gosh, Mom. I just called to complain."

Ordinarily, I would have joined my daughter at the complaint department. No more. Because I read "The Secret." Now, I think happy thoughts. The book is about Laws of Attraction and how we create our own reality and circumstance. Not a huge secret. But after I read the book and watched the DVD, I wanted to expand my focus — free myself of negative energy.

I reacted to "The Secret" the same way I react to a sale sign that reads: 75 Percent Off. So extreme, that my friends and family considered an intervention. No one wanted to hear about my newfound knowledge. Except for my little one.

"I'll watch 'The Secret' with you, Mom." (Baiting her with a bowl of popcorn and a soda helped.)

The film opens with Rhonda Byrne telling the audience that her life a few years ago was in turmoil. Welcome to my world. Oops. Strike that thought. Think positive, Mimi.

Byrne's world brightened when her daughter, Hayley, gave her the book "The Science of Getting Rich," written by Wallace Wattles in 1910. The only books my kids ever gave me were their overdue library books from 1983. Breathe, Mimi. Let it go.

I fast-forwarded through Byrne's story. Through the epoch music and candles illuminating pages of an Old Testament-style book. Scrubbed over disembodied voices of people whispering The Secret ... The Secret ... The Secret. Surfed through faint winds turning the pages of a book. Skipped over an army of men ...

Whoa. REWIND soldiers running with lighted torches — PLAY — hot-looking soldiers wearing Jockey brand loincloths covering their bare essentials. "This is creepy," said my Little One.

"Oh, all right. Hold on. I'm looking for the part that tells me how to make a gazillion dollars ... here it is ... the vision board."

"What's that?"

"A vision board has pictures of things a person wants in his or her life right now."

"Oooh. I want one of those," my little one exclaimed.

"What would you put on your vision board?"

"Hmm. A Lamborghini. And a puppy!"

"You're more likely to get a Lamborghini than a puppy."

"It's my vision board," she snapped.

Is it against PETA laws to put a photo of a puppy with a red line crossed through it on my vision board?

Later that week, my oldest daughter phoned me. "I've had the worst day," she began.

"I'll have to call you back. Someone's at the door," my secret to avoiding negative phone calls.

"Mom. I just told you I had a horrible day."

"All right. What happened?"

"This morning, I had a flat tire driving to work. It cost me $125 to fix it. I got grease on my new white blouse. My skirt got caught in the car door and ripped. And I was late for work because I had to go home and change my clothes."

Where was my dissolve the negative cheat sheet when I needed it? "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I just called to say, I'm grateful for my life."

"Huh?"

"I'm 24 years old. And this is the worse day I ever had. I'm lucky."

"This is what I've been trying to tell you. It's the power of 'The Secret' ... "

"Uh ... I'll have to call you back, Mom. Someone's at my door."

To find out more about Mimi Kopulos and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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