Dear John: Since this spring, I've developed a close friendship with "Patrick," a male friend of mine. As we have openly talked about our thoughts and life experiences to each other, I have developed a deep attraction to him. We are able to talk very easily to each other. I am single, but Patrick is in a relationship with someone else. They have been together for three years. Although they've never lived together, they see each just a couple of times a week. Patrick says they both feel that the relationship is frustrating, and neither is having their needs fulfilled. They have come to the conclusion that they would probably be happier being with other people. When Patrick talks about his relationship with me, I am very careful to point out both sides to him and not allow my own feelings towards him to sway him one way or the other. But now I wonder: Should I tell him how I feel about him, or should I remain silent? — More than "Just Friends" in Denver, Colo.

Dear More than "Just Friends": Definitely, you should test the waters to determine whether his feelings are similar. But since you've expressed your very noble concern about swaying him away from his current relationship and want to wait until he is unattached, you might consider saying something like this: "Patrick, you know I have a tremendous regard and a sincere love for our friendship, and I'd never do anything to dishonor it. I feel it's important to let you know that I'm also attracted to you. I realize that you are currently involved with someone. Should that situation change, I hope you will keep that in mind." He will.

Dear John: I am 28 years old and recently divorced after three years of marriage. Now I have met someone else who is very kind to me, and I would like to slowly start a romantic relationship with her. She is interested in me as well. I have one major problem. I don't find her to be really physically attractive although I am emotionally attracted to her. Do you think this may happen in time, after getting to know her better? Will I be able to see past that and find her attractive enough to be with her permanently? Please help me! — Just Half the Package, in Sarasota, Fla.

Dear Just Half the Package: While physical attraction will stoke the initial flames of desire in both men and women, the old adage, "Don't judge a book by its cover" rings most true in our search for love.

Great relationships are made up of several important components. Definitely, physical attraction is one crucial ingredient. But so are trust, honor, consideration and a strong moral compass. Sure, it's great when you find a woman with the whole package. But then again, if you were to do without one of these traits, wouldn't good looks be the last on the list? After all, our features fade with time. Our actions live on in the hearts of others forever. Give her a chance. She deserves it.