Dear John: I have a really sweet female friend, and I think we could take our relationship to a different level. But she says she knows the minute she meets someone if they can have an intimate relationship, and she'd like to keep things as "just friends." We are very compatible in a lot of ways. Should I just bide my time and hope for more? — I Feel the Vibe, in Waco, Texas

Dear Feel the Vibe: No; you'll only get your heart broken. Why? Because she is holding out for the chemistry that takes a relationship from stage one of dating and attraction, through stage two of uncertainty, and beyond. Your inability to let go of the idea of a romance with her may be attributed to the fact that she chose not to pursue a closer relationship.

The first step toward releasing this pain is to recognize that she wasn't the right person for you in the first place. Your true soul mate can only connect with you if your heart is open to her. Acknowledge the friendship for what it is now, and make the choice to let go of anything more than that. The next step you must take is to fill the void you are currently feeling. This means going out with other friends, and also dating new people. Start today. You can, and will, move beyond this hurt. The choice is yours.

Dear John: I have a good job, but my husband is struggling to start and secure his own business. I have no qualms about working, and I'm proud of what I earn. Still, we don't seem to be able to save for a down payment on a house.

At the same time, it seems to both my husband and I that everyone around us is asking for handouts from their parents. In our case, my parents have chosen to give financial assistance to my brother and his wife, while we could have used it and would have certainly appreciated it. The more handouts everyone else gets, the more financially strapped I feel, and the more depressed I get. How can I deal with all this frustration and disappointment? — The Other Child, in Flagstaff, Ariz.

Dear Other Child: Your parents' generosity to your brother is not the true issue here. Your real concern is that your parents did not openly extend a similar offer to you, yet you don't say whether or not you've ever asked your parents for their assistance. You can't expect others to read your mind. For all you know, they may feel honored by the opportunity to lend a hand. After all, at any age, parents wish for their children be happy and healthy, particularly hardworking ones like you and your husband. If you've hesitated to do so out of a sense of pride, then pocket the jealousy, unless you're looking for an excuse to be on the outs with your family.

If your end game is truly to buy a home, shop around for the right property and find out what it would take to get pre-approved for a loan. Inform your parents of your goal. Tell them how much you need for a down payment, and how much you've already saved. Ask for the funds as a loan, or suggest they co-sign on a note, but assure them that you'll make the payments. Then, upon an equity run-up or after you pay them back, you'll take the title to the home. If their generosity holds, your businesslike approach may prompt them to give you a cash gift instead. Bottom line: You wont G-E-T if you don't A-S-K.