Dear Margo: The Hydra belongs to Greek mythology, but surprise — there's one in my family, as well!

My mom and aunt are the best of sisters, and they share everything. And every thought. They almost never disagree with each other. While they are both amazing and wonderful, it's becoming increasingly difficult for anyone in the family to get support for anything should the sisters set their mind against it (even my grandfather). There is no convincing them of anything, because you won't even get the chance to speak; their words and comments overlap in a never-ending barrage until they shoot your opinion down. Trying to speak to them individually is impossible because they are always together. This is stressful and not a good thing for the family, because, like my mom and aunt, we have our opinions, too. I've wanted to make an extended trip overseas, but they are dead-set against it. I'm 24 and know I can make my own decisions — really, to heck with what they think. But I don't want to make things awful, and yet I'm sure there is no way to slay this two-headed Hydra controlling the family. — Silently Screaming

Dear Si: Well, there is a way, actually. You and your family need to tune out the tribunal, I mean the sisters, and do what you please. Perhaps the most useful way to start this ball rolling is not to discuss every decision you are contemplating and just go ahead and do it. "Bossy" is the word we used to use for this kind of managerial relative. — Margo, tactically

Turning It On and Off — Mostly Off

Dear Margo: I am a newlywed. We just had our one-year anniversary. We had an OK sex life before marriage and a great honeymoon, but we have only had sex five times in the past year, and he refuses to see a urologist or go to counseling with me. I am only 28. He is just fine not having sex, but I am a mess and am on antidepressants. He says it's not me, it's him. (Well, duh.) I can't get over my anger and resentment. I am trying to wait it out, but I have the full realization that he is making no attempts to change. He also wants kids! Should I just cut my losses now or continue to be unfulfilled for the rest of my life with him? I cry every time he rejects me and find it horrible that he won't love me. I don't even try to initiate sex anymore. It is too painful. — All Alone

Dear All: Something is in the air. I have been hearing from women who are with men who could operate sexually before marriage, but then once married decide they're done. Interesting about his wanting kids. Where are they supposed to come from — CVS? If he continues to refuse to look into his problem — whatever it is — then you really have no choice but to solve the problem yourself by calling the marriage a mistake. You are at an age where many young women haven't even married for the first time. And your dysfunctional husband is right about one thing: The trouble is with him, not you. — Margo, correctively

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to [email protected]. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.