Classic Zig Ziglar

Question: Have you ever in disgust said, "You make me sick!" to anyone? Chances are fairly good that you have. Chances are even better that there is more truth than poetry, as we say down home, in that statement.

The late psychiatrist Smiley Blanton said that in his career, he never dealt with a person suffering from dementia, regardless of age, who did these three things: stayed active physically, kept learning mentally and developed a genuine interest in other people.

My friends in counseling, primarily those in the ministry, psychology, psychiatry and social services, say that nearly 100 percent of the counseling they do is because of relationship difficulties — husband/wife, parent/child, teacher/student, employer/employee, neighbor/neighbor, sibling/sibling. Your relationships affect your physical, mental, emotional and, of course, your spiritual health. Personally speaking, my relationship with Christ is my most important relationship.

How do you build winning relationships? There has never been a better rule written than the golden one: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. For years, we have made the observation that you can have everything you want out of life if you just help enough other people get what they want. That is a philosophy, not a tactic. You don't build winning relationships by manipulation, which is trying to get someone else to do something for your benefit. Pure motivation involves developing an interest in the other person and making an effort to do something for his or her benefit.

One simple little step that we've used for many years to build relationships is something we practice in our two-day Born To Win seminar. In the roundtable discussions that take place, we encourage people to think of something they like about one or more of the other people seated at the table.

We provide them with little slips of paper called "I like because ... " slips, which are used to comment on specific, observable behaviors. Participants write a few short words such as, "I like Sally Smith because she has such a pleasant smile and greets everyone in such a friendly, upbeat manner," or "I like John Alexander because he shows old-fashioned courtesy when he opens doors for ladies or retired folks."

It's amazing the impact a little note like that, left along with your tip at a restaurant, will do for the person who has just served you. The delight on the face of the recipient, the smile and twinkle in his or her eye, will give you, the giver, the greatest encouragement of all. There is absolutely no joy like the joy you experience when you do something for someone else — if it is as simple as a little note or a cheerful greeting.

I challenge you to make it a habit every day to write one short note or verbalize an encouraging word to someone who is in no position to return the favor. If the favor or kind word can be returned, your motive becomes slightly suspect — but you're the only one who can know that, so by all means, if it's honest and sincere, let someone who crosses your path during the day be the recipient of your kindness and thoughtfulness. It's amazing what it will do for your own spirits and the spirits of the other person.

The good news is, since America received its "911 call," there has been a decided improvement in the encouragement and friendliness of people all around us. I see people everywhere being more thoughtful, kind, courteous and even generous. Looks like the Boy Scouts have known something for a long time that all of us should know and do when they tell us to do a good deed every day. A simple note or encouraging comment certainly qualifies as a good deed. Try it. You'll like it!

To find out more about Zig Ziglar and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. Subscribe to Zig Ziglar's free e-mail newsletter through info@zigziglar.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM