This is Love? by Zig Ziglar on Creators.com

Recently

The Hustler Several years ago, Paul Newman starred in a movie titled "The Hustler." It dealt with the game of pool, and a hustler was a guy who set someone up and then hustled or beat him out of his money. The connotation of a hustler was definitely …Read more. Efficiency Is Costly When I was a youngster in Yazoo City, Miss., twice each week — on Tuesday and Friday nights — I delivered the hometown newspaper. One night a week, I collected for the paper. The financial rewards were small but important. More important …Read more. A Rainy Day Story Today was "one of those days." I don't believe I've ever seen as much rain fall so hard or for so long as I did today. My wife and I were on our way to Tyler, Texas, to make a couple of purchases and, more importantly, to see Dr. John …Read more. Employer Opportunity "Morale is the state of mind. It is steadfastness and courage and hope. It is confidence and zeal and loyalty. It is elan, esprit de corps and determination." — George Catlett Marshall Employee turnover is expensive. One of the most …Read more.

This is Love?

Over the past years, a common practice labels a child born out of wedlock as a "love child." One of the most visible figures in America fathered a daughter out of wedlock. She is being identified as a "love child." Obviously, everyone hopes that she is genuinely loved. Jesse Jackson fathered five children with his wife of 37 years, Jacqueline. Question: Do those five feel that they were not "love children"?

To help clarify this, let's look at the definition of love. The dictionary identifies love as "an affection of the mind, excited by beauty and worth of any kind, or by the qualities of the object which communicate pleasure, sensual or intellectual. A strong affection for or attachment to another person based on regard or shared experiences or interests."

Dr. Joyce Brothers says that love is something we all yearn for, and that to love and be loved is the most blissful state imaginable. She says love is "caring as much for the aims and welfare of another person as you do about your own aims and well-being."

Dr. J. Allan Petersen lists four words describing love. First is "stergo," which he describes as the love that is inherent in one's own nature. This is the kind of love a parent has for offspring. It can be, and often is, sacrificial. The second kind of love is "eros." Although eros usually carries a negative connotation, it can be either good or bad. Its basis is primarily in the physical and triggered by emotion. Eros is the heart of sexual desire and romantic feelings.

Third is "phileo." This kind of love is "a fondness or a liking based on similarity of outlook in life." The fourth, and easily the most beautiful kind of love, is "agape." Petersen saw this love culled out of one's heart by an awakened sense of value in the object loved that causes one to prize it.

This love does not seek anything in return, not even acceptance of itself, but is first concerned for the other. It is the ultimate love, and it brings out the best in all of us.

Nearly 2,000 years ago, a Jewish scholar wrote his friends in Corinth and described real love. He said, and I quote, "Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails." These definitions make it clear that the offspring of an adulterous relationship is not a "love child."

Is the child who is the result of this illicit relationship going to enjoy all the benefits the children of real love share? Evidence is clear that this child will not have the benefits that Rev. Jackson's other five children have and still enjoy. God will love her as much as He loves all the others, but this child will be burned with a stigma through no fault of her own.

Though "love child," a term which I believe was created out of "political correctness," is less harsh than the prior label given to children born out of wedlock, it is a label that romanticizes a very hurtful and harmful situation for a child. A more accurate label, if the press and public insist on a label at all, would be "unfortunate child." The real love children are those born to the husband and wife who raise them together, give them their name and provide the best possible start for success in this life.

To find out more about Zig Ziglar and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. Subscribe to Zig Ziglar's free e-mail newsletter through info@zigziglar.com.