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Bare Naked Mommies
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Valentine's Day Sex Therapy
Dear Readers: Happy Valentine's Day to one and all, along with our special good wishes to the veterans in VA hospitals around the country. And our particular thanks to those readers who have taken the time to send valentines, visit the vets and volunteer at VA facilities. Bless each and every one of you.
Dear Annie: "Sex Therapist" does not need a refresher course. You are mistaken when you say that the "vast majority" of older women lose interest in sex.
The Harvard Women's Health Watch newsletter reported that in a survey of 27,000 women enrolled in the Women's Health Initiative (WHI), more than 60 percent of women in their 50s, 45 percent of those in their 60s and 28 percent of women in their 70s reported that they were sexually active, and almost two-thirds said they were happy with their level of sexual activity. Of those who were dissatisfied, more than half said they would prefer having sex more often. Even these numbers may be misleading, because when healthy women stop having sex, it is not necessarily due to a lack of libido. Often it's because they lack a partner or because topical treatments have not resolved the common problem of vaginal dryness, which can cause pain during intercourse. — Carole Wade, Ph.D.
Dear Dr. Wade: We do not take issue with the fact that post-menopausal women can be interested in sex. In fact, we encourage it. We do, however, disagree with "Sex Therapist's" comment that losing interest is a myth.
We are delighted the study showed that 28 percent of women still have an active libido into their 70s (and presumably beyond). But it is hardly a myth that hormones are depleted as we age, and many post-menopausal women lose interest for a variety of reasons. According to our readers, those who have a healthy sex life are generally using some form of hormone replacement. We need to acknowledge this reality and not make women feel freakish or inadequate if they experience a drop in libido and hormones are not an option.
Plenty of readers weighed in on this hot topic. Read on:
From Florida: My husband and I had always had a wonderful sex life together, and I wasn't about to give it up because of menopause. But I did not want to take any oral hormone therapy with its risks. I discovered that using an over-the-counter progesterone cream from my local health food store and a prescription estrogen cream twice a week totally "cured" my lagging sexual desire.
Michigan: I am 51, and my best friend is 61. We both still love sex. We think you only hear from women who don't want it anymore. They probably didn't like it much to begin with.
Florida: I am so sick of hearing how great sex in later life can be. I really enjoyed sex in my younger years, but not anymore. I have to use cream because of dryness and then take an antibiotic every time so I don't get an infection. The fireworks that used to accompany sex have become duds. I still love him, but having sex at 67 is more bother than it is worth.
Massachusetts: I am 61. Of all my "elderly" friends, I have not known one to ever tell me they have lost interest in sex, even if they presently have no partner. We are all happy, confident women who take pride in our sexuality and are still very interested. I believe the real problem lies with the men. They are the ones who have lost interest or are unable to perform and are too embarrassed to seek help.
Pennsylvania: The lack of desire for physical intimacy in women (and in men) is often a hormonal imbalance brought on by overexposure to estrogen-like chemicals in petroleum products (plastics, perfumes, cleaners). Lubrication and desire can return when hormones are rebalanced with natural bio-identical hormones.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
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Comments
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48 Comments | Post Comment
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Wow. Really? I'm beginning to think that the Annies do read BTL, are pissed at being upstaged by the many wise commentators, and are retaliating the best way they know how.
The only time they publish anything contrary to their original opinions is when they can respond, twisting words, trying to back up their original (erroneous) "advice".
Honestly, Annies, you don't always need the last word and you don't always need to win. Sometimes advice is a collaborative effort.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Zoe
Mon Feb 13, 2012 9:07 PM
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Annie's - you made one statistical mistake - the Harvard Health Initiative said 28% of women in their 70's were SEXUALLY ACTIVE - then you said that you were glad 28% of women in their 70's had healthy LIBIDOs. Not the same thing at all - we don't know how many have healthy libidos, presumably way more than 28%, they just don't have partners. Not sure what the statistics are on women in their 70's with partners, probably less than 50%?
@ Zoe - it's their column, so sure, they can win all they want.
The Annie's generally get it right almost all the time - I feel like I have to keep acknowledging this because of all the hatred that seems to be heaped on them by commenters. Those of us who smile and nod in agreement with their advice have no need to post, so BTL often gets skewed by dissenters.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Steve C
Mon Feb 13, 2012 9:24 PM
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@Steve - I happen to agree with Zoe. Annie's are very defensive and do not take lightly to being criticized. They are quite good in their advice most of the time. But, there are instances when they have been totally off. After all, we are all human and we all make mistakes. I have yet to see them accept theirs. It shows dignity to gracefully accept mistakes and correct oneself. Of all the advice columns I read, this is the only one where I have yet to see them retract their statements.
By the way, I hardly ever post. Even when they are wrong. So its not a question of chewing them out. But they DO like to have the last word.
Comment: #3
Posted by: sfph6
Mon Feb 13, 2012 9:47 PM
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On the subject of sex after menopause, they are particularly hard headed.
Comment: #4
Posted by: wkh
Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:32 PM
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"According to our readers, those who have a healthy sex life are generally using some form of hormone replacement."
According to HOW MANY of their readers? After the butchering of Samantha's letter the other day, we all know how shamelessly they are capable of skewing the facts and manipulating the truth.
And besides, this piece of yurunda is only saying that, as far as they're concerned, any woman with a libido after menopause is unnatural and only kept interested through artificial means, without which she would revert back to her natural frozen state. Given their little dig about hormone therapies the other day, we all know where they stand on this. They're full of scheiße.
Ann Landers was big enough to admit it when she erred. They, on the other hand, dig their heels in and fight for the right to be wrong. That is the real problem - not human imperfection. Yrrrch.
Comment: #5
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Mon Feb 13, 2012 10:50 PM
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* * * * * OFF TOPIC ALERT * * * * *
It might have been a few months ago, but does anyone recall the discussion over youth employment and summer camps? Someone came on the Creators comment board and said he/she'd been involved in summer camps, possibly still involved.
My son needs to organise a placement/work experience for his university course in Adventure Education, and one option is to work in summer camps. He's making his own investigations, of course, but I said I'd see if there was anyone who could remember that link. Or if anyone has any friends or relations who are involved in such ventures, I'd be glad to hear from you. Son2 is a hard-working, well-mannered chap as well as handsome - think young Daniel Craig. He has American and British citizenship, so no need for work permits.
If you aren't comfortable making contact here at Creators, I am available on the Delphi Advice Columns Fanatics forum, and can be sent a private message there. Thank you all so much. :-)
Comment: #6
Posted by: Beguiling Miss Pasko
Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:58 AM
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Everyone's body is different, so whether it be man or woman, it lies in oneself. What may work for one person may not work for another. If it's a medical/physical matter, then seek help. If the lack of desire can be helped by a doctor, then look into it. If the doctor says, "yeah, I can get ya back in gear with such n' such med", then try it out. But if the doctor recommends a med. and you decline, then you're being selfish towards your partner.
There is a reason for everything. So, if a woman/man doesn't have the desire to be intinate anymore, then talk to your partner about this, don't just brush it off and hope the partner won't bring up the subject again. All kinds of things are going to run thru the partners' mind. Is she/he having an affair, an illness which one does NOT want to disclose, etc. Being in a relationship/marriage should NOT be one sided. That's what communication is all about.
@ Chris yesterday's post 44
So sorry and sad that no photos were taken during your "growing up" years. It's fun looking thru old photos.
Yeah, I hope I have many more years of enjoyment looking thru memorbilia.
And Chris, since you probably don't have a box of past memories , here's best wishes for a Happy Valenties Day card
Now you can put this in a box.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY everyone !!
Comment: #7
Posted by: Gwen
Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:04 AM
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I agree with Lise. After finding out how much Samantha's letter was "edited", I rarely take any letters at face value. Although I knew they edited some for grammar and/or space, Samantha's was totally changed. If the Annies are going to allow the BTL comments, at least they should give us the benefit of the correct information.
They are never going to give up on their position on the topic of post menopausal sex, so personally I wish they'd just stop posting letters on the subject. There are many women who have a happy and acive sex life after menopause, but obviously the only time the Annies will print one is when then can print a second one conradicting it and "agreeing" with their position.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Kitty
Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:35 AM
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@Steve C, I'd be happy if people who agreed with the Annies commented more. I myself often agree with the Annies -- I find what I usually think is that they either didn't go far enough but were in the right general area; or that they only consider one side of the situation, and there's a very plausible alternative that they haven't considered.
Add that to our recent discovery that at least one letter in recent days has been edited so much as to skew the problem, and I think there's enough room for commenters to offer a variety of opinions, and still do so respectfully.
It's also more than a little disappointing that the Annies are so determined to "be right" about women's sexuality and menopause that they are willing to make a false equivalency (as you pointed out, libido != sexual activity), and that they are even willing to argue with experts in the field -- because they are so certain that some anecdotal evidence from a non-statistical portion of their readers plus their own feelings on the matter are more "accurate" than the opinion of experts studying and doing research in this area.
In any event, in this arena at least, it would seem that women readers would do well to take the Annies' opinion about menopause and libido with a grain of salt.
------
Happy Valentines Day, everyone! Ike surprised me with a dozen roses last night, so I'm feeling very lucky and blessed today. For the couples out there, I hope it's a fun and romantic day; for the singles looking for love, I hope you find success; and for the singles not looking for love, I hope you treat yourselves to a special day as well -- and everyone, remember, tomorrow there will be all sorts of chocolate and candy on sale! :-)
Comment: #9
Posted by: Mike H
Tue Feb 14, 2012 3:56 AM
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Allow me to sound an 'amen' to #8 Kitty. I realize that post-menopausal intercourse is a topic of interest for many who seek advice in this forum. However, I could really use a vacation from this topic. Menopause is the scapegoat for so many readers' ills it is becoming a running gag here in BTL. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Comment: #10
Posted by: Humama
Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:03 AM
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Oh, God, please, no more menopause, Annies.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Shannon
Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:34 AM
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Re: Kitty
I believe the commentary at Creators is a Creators policy, not something the Annies have a say about. Otherwise there would be none, as for Abby at uClick, where the commentary seems to be a feature at the discretion of the contributors - some of them have it, some of them don't. Abby sure doesn't, and keeps making little digs when she publishes letters from readers, "from my NEWSPAPER readers"... There are other sites publishing her column, THEY allow a commentary, and she will have no control over that.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:43 AM
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@ Mike H.
WOW !! Roses !! Enjoy them while you can as fresh flowers do NOT last very long. Thank goodness fresh flowers are NOT expensive over here. My husband buys me a fresh bouquet every Saturday.
And Mike, please tell me that you know about " Mike & Ike " candy. If not, they're fruit flavored, on the order of "Good n' Plenty". I'm sending you an imaginary box of Mike & Ike's for Valentines Day !!
Comment: #13
Posted by: Gwen
Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:54 AM
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Lise:
"My newspaper readers comment:"-I had noticed that too and wondered why she said it that way! What's up with that anyway? How do you say yrrrrch in German?
Comment: #14
Posted by: jar8818
Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:42 AM
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@Lise #12
I actually knew it was Creators and not the Annies who allow the BTL comments. I knew better and stand corrected. What I really SHOULD have said was that since the Annies obviously KNOW there are BTL comments, they should give us the correct information to comment on.
Comment: #15
Posted by: Kitty
Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:00 AM
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I think the fact that the Annies are actually arguing with a PhD on this subject as if they're somehow more knowledgeable or educated says it all. Seriously, there you have it you guys - arrogance and defensiveness at its finest.
On another note, I hope you all have a GREAT Valentine's Day. I'm off for the day as I finished my degree last night! I'll "officially" graduate after my professor posts my final grade and I can submit my application for the university to process. So I'm going to finally get some much-needed rest and, for once, do nothing... okay, maybe nothing, I'd like to do some knitting and my family and I will probably go out for pizza tonight :-) But you get what I mean.
Comment: #16
Posted by: PS
Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:25 AM
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Well Done PS!
Enjoy your evening, basking in the glory of your degree.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Comment: #17
Posted by: Beguiling Miss Pasko
Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:35 AM
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@Gwen, thanks, we're already enjoying them! They were lovely at breakfast this morning. We actually like to have fresh flowers in the house, but usually much less expensive bouquets, and then only every once in a while.
He really surprised me, too, since we'd agreed to make Valentines low-key -- our anniversary is only about 2 weeks away, so we prefer to make that the bigger event. But he was feeling spontaneous, and it really was a wonderful surprise.
Yes, indeed, we do know about "Mike and Ike", and that's in fact why I use the pseudonym -- someone here or in Delphi recommended it (sorry that I can't remember who!) so that I didn't keep awkwardly referring to him as "my partner".
Comment: #18
Posted by: Mike H
Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:39 AM
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Menopause and the lack of sex AGAIN?!!! I suppose the good news is that there must have been a lack of other letters to come back to this subject and devote a whole column to it.
Is anyone else tired of reading about women's v's?
Comment: #19
Posted by: kristen
Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:51 AM
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Re: Miss Pasko
Off Topic Alert. What area of the country are you looking for and what area of camp. MN has Camp Courage which many going into a vast array of medical fields go work at. This camp has sessions year round, but the busiest is summer, with mentally and physically handicapped to physically only. Families included, siblings, etc some weeks.
Just google the Camp Courage, MN. I know there are many others US wide. My son has been contacted by a group out in NY for their Tae Kwon Do people working with kids with cancer. A very good organization led by well meaning folks.
So if you could be more specific, that would help.
Comment: #20
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:33 AM
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RE Letter ??? From Florida. Said she pulled a halt at Oral HRT but goes to health food store and adds a scripted cream.
What people don't realize, the same amount can be absorbed as if it were oral dosed. And OTC picked up is not a regulated as a script is.
I don't have HRT meds but my nitro is oral 2x a day and also in a paste for. I use both for my Raynaud's. Yet, on top of each other can drop you to the floor, lower your BP and send you to the ER. We absorb into our skin immediately topical meds. (TVs ER Mysteries had this on a couple weeks ago where the wife mixed up the guy's hemorrhoid med with the nitro paste. Sent to ER in cardiac trauma each time to the point they thought she was poisoning him. So after a trip to the BR--in ER room--she had applied his meds--and he coded.)
That is why topical meds have special paper patches scripted with them, to put the med on it and apply to skin so you don't touch it with fingers. Absorbs.
Another example---Pedialyte--even 1 minute in before upchucking when having the flu--the electolytes are absorbed within 30-60 seconds.
Comment: #21
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Tue Feb 14, 2012 8:46 AM
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Re: jar8818
I cannot help but read a pejorative differentiation between her "real" readership and us Internet, trashy non-people. Isn't it ironical that the greater share of her "real" readership is more than likely online? The comment section at the Yahoo site can hit the 2-300 mark, and we all know that it's only a fraction of online readers who ever post.
"Yrrrch" is Sindarin Elvish (Lord of the Rings) for "Orc", which translates in German as "Orks". Take your pick!
Comment: #22
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:13 AM
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Re: Kitty
I think they take for granted that we're not likely to have access to the original when they butcher it up. And for the most part, they're unfortunately right. Samantha's case is not even the minority, it's the rare exception.
What they don't realise is that whoever was reading online at the right time to witness this... well, the price they're paying is a huge loss of credibility in terms of value as a human being - and therefore as a valid dispenser of advice. How can you trust someone's advice when you've had the proof of their dishonesty? I would NEVER write to someone for advice if I know they're capable of this. They're hardly the only shrimp swimming in the great deep blue.
Comment: #23
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:21 AM
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@Lise #23
Couldn't agree with you more!!
Comment: #24
Posted by: Kitty
Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:28 AM
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Re: Steve C.
I think that many of us agree with the Annies regularly. Often, we are just adding to their advice or offering another point of view. But when they truly the drop the ball and they publish a letter disagreeing with them, it's only to passive-aggressively talk down to the LW, skew stats/words (as you yourself pointed out), and generally try to twist their opinion to fit into reality. Most of us remain unconvinced. That is what I mean about "not having to win". Sure, you can try, but you'd get much more cred if you were willing to look back and say "you're right, my bad" and move on.
Re: PS
Congrats!!!!! Enjoy your relaxing day!
Comment: #25
Posted by: Zoe
Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:37 AM
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My interest is piqued. I come here infrequently but what happened to "Samantha" and her edited question?
Comment: #26
Posted by: It's me
Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:11 AM
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Re: PS Congratulations on getting your degree!
Comment: #27
Posted by: Michael
Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:16 AM
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Also to add that I have had a letter of mine published before. Not Annies but another Creators writer. It was highly edited at our mutual request. There were a few emails back and forth with what info would be deleted and what info would be changed. But the basic problem and question was still the same. Part was for clarity and part was I was concerned about the unique situation being identifiable. Bottom line is- don't take it personally. It has less to do with the reader and more to do with the letter writer.
But I'm still interested in what went down with Samantha!!
Comment: #28
Posted by: It's me
Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:21 AM
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Re: It's Me
That wasn't the situation here. The Annies omitted a part of Samantha's letter where she says that she was sympathetic and consoling when she found out that her MIL (or SIL - can't remember) had been sick in the hospital, and then chastised her in their response for not being sympathetic in consoling. In other words, they gave her shit for not doing something they KNEW she did do.
Comment: #29
Posted by: Zoe
Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:26 AM
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Re: Zoe
Ah, I see. How/ where was that discovered?
Comment: #30
Posted by: It's me
Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:34 AM
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Hey, let's just count our blessings that the Annies did at least include a couple of letters suggesting that not everyone winds up hating sex after menopause! Yes, they're still fighting for the right to be wrong, even in the face of experts writing in (assuming the LW really is a PhD and that the LW is citing a real study properly), but at least they did give SOME balance in the letters they selected.
Of course, I can't help but wonder if the fact that the letters were basically evenly split means they actually got far MORE letters from women who still enjoy sex after menopause.
But, for all that, I still have to say that the best Valentine's Day present they could have given the BTL would have been to do a column that didn't include anything having to do with menopause! As an added bonus, they could even consider NOT skewing the facts when they share a letter with us!
Comment: #31
Posted by: Lisa
Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:22 AM
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Happy Valentine's Day. Peace and Love.
Comment: #32
Posted by: Rick
Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:29 AM
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@Steve C -- I am one of the commenters who regularly calls out the Annies for whiffing on their advice. As Mike H and others have noted, a lot of times the advice isn't bad or wrong, per se, but it doesn't go far enough. So frequently, the answer is "seek counseling." I actually believe counseling is excellent advice -- but it often feels like they use it as an excuse not to address what's happening or as an excuse not to offer their opinion on the subject. Since the whole reason someone writes to them is to get their opinion on the subject, it's a little odd that they're doing an almost lawyerly dance around the topic (with apologies to lawyers). I believe the Annies frequently do one or some of the following:
1) Miss the forest for the trees -- often the LW gives several examples to illustrate the problem, and then the Annies address those specific examples instead of addressing the underlying problem these examples are being used to illustrate. The LW doesn't need to know how to address the specific example, the LW needs to know how to deal with the underlying problem.
2) Go for the quick answer -- since they are still writing for hard copy publications, they have to watch their length, so they try to use what I think of as "advice shorthand," so that they can get more letters addressed in each column. Hence the, "seek counseling," or "it's menopause" or "it's dementia" answers that may well actually be correct and appropriate, but that would be far more useful if they some additional thought was included. Personally, I'd rather they answered just one letter if it meant we could see less-edited questions and more thoughtful answers.
3) Post follow-ups ad nauseum -- I wouldn't mind them reaching into the mailbag (or BTL) for reader response, but I wish they'd do it differently. For one thing, they seem to pick some of the stupidest things to follow up on (washing golf clubs in the sink or what have you) -- honestly, I don't know why they bothered to answer that in the first place, much less dragging it out with reader response for DAYS. If they've got a "hot topic" that lots of people are responding to, pick ONE column and run a bunch of responses ONCE. Then, for the love of God, lay off it!
4) They can never, ever be wrong -- I cannot remember if it was Ann Landers or Dear Abby (the original sisters) who used to say "mea culpa" every now and again when readers pointed out to her that she got something wrong. It takes a big person to admit when she's wrong. Ann and/or Abby (again the originals) were big people. The Annies...not so much.
Comment: #33
Posted by: Lisa
Tue Feb 14, 2012 11:40 AM
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Re: It's me
Samantha came on BTL identifying herself as the LW, royally pissed at the Annies and us for (we didn't by any means vilify the LW, but we were commenting on the letter as it was printed, which omitted a LOT).
They really do twist it. Samantha's husband was in the hospital for a stroke or a heart attack and her SIL or MIL was causing problems and being generally toxic. One example of how the Annies TWIST things: they published something like this "My SIL brought a piece of pizza into the hospital room and I freaked out", but they excluded the part where Samantha said that SIL SNEAKED a piece of pizza in her purse to her husband who was a sodium-reduced diet. So they made her sound like a lunatic instead of someone concerned about her husband's health.
Comment: #34
Posted by: Zoe
Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:10 PM
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Re: It's me
I can't remember when this happened, but it wasn't that long ago. If you flip through the columns for the last couple weeks I'm sure you will find it :)
Comment: #35
Posted by: Zoe
Tue Feb 14, 2012 12:11 PM
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It's me:
Look at Feb. 5; the first letter is Samantha's and her comment is #19. The letter as printed does not even resemble what she actually wrote. That's our beef with the Annies.
------------------
Both the Annies took an axe
And gave Sam's letter 40 whacks
When they saw what they had done
They gave another 41.
Comment: #36
Posted by: jar8818
Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:00 PM
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Re: jar8818
I found the post. I'm not here enough to get involved, especially something that happened in the past. But as I said, I've had a letter of mine printed by another Creators column. I'm somewhat doubting the authenticity of "Samantha" based on my experience. It could be my letter was different in some way but I knew *exactly* what was going to be printed before I gave final permission. I don't know if that is standard procedure or not but it's what happened to me. I felt the communication was very open and it was very clear that I had to say "yes" or "no" to print the answer as was replied to me via email.
IDK, my 2 cents... this is the internet. I approach any forum with a certain amount (ALOT) of skepticism.
Comment: #37
Posted by: It's me
Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:41 PM
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Has anyone considered that Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar are not the editors and they only respond to what is presented to them by the actual editor?
Comment: #38
Posted by: Oveta
Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:44 PM
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Why would you assume because another creators column worked in a certain way, this one would to? Creators is just a syndication publishing site. You can find many of these columns in other locations online.
Comment: #39
Posted by: wkh
Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:07 PM
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@ Oveta #38
The Annies are definitely NOT the editors of this column. They would have an editor working for them who would edit both the LWs' letters, plus the Annies' replies. I would *hope* that their editor would present the original letter along with the edited letter for the Annies to write their reply from, but just the basic copy editing mistakes I've seen slip through to the final column I wouldn't be surprised if they skip a few steps in the editing process.
Comment: #40
Posted by: Elbee
Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:27 PM
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to PS: Great job!!!!! I hope your career achieves the biggest heights!
For those valentine day readers: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!
Comment: #41
Posted by: happymom
Tue Feb 14, 2012 4:20 PM
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Re: It's me
I have written in to the Annies and have had my letter published in their column some time ago. The letter was heavily edited for brevity and, in my opinion, some of what they left out was crucial. I was not consulted at any time.
They may in some cases contact the LW but you're talking about a different column. I highly doubt the Annies' editor contacts each LW to confirm edits but stranger things have happened I suppose.
Comment: #42
Posted by: Zoe
Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:24 PM
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@It's Me
The title is "Path to Common Ground Not Paved With Abuse and Anger", February 5th. Samantha Kimmel was LW1. The Annies conveniently left out crucial information so that they could slam her. She came down BTL and set the record straight, which is how we know.
You don't specify who you consulted exactly and Creators has many columnists, but I know for a fact that Amy Alkon fonctions the way you describe. I also definitely know that she reads BTL, because she told me she did in response to a comment I had e-mailed her on her column. There are also columnists who actually sometimes come BTL. Not the Annies, It is dubious they even read the commentary, probably contaminated by the same virus afflicting Abby. Not all columnists work the same, nor will they all have the same level of integrity.
I for one, believe Samantha 100%.
@Lisa
Ann Landers definitely admitted many times she had erred. "Mea Culpa" was usually followed by "ten lashed with the wet noodle" or "the face with the egg on it is mine". I wouldn't know for sure about the original Dear Abby (it's her daughter now, I think) - until the advent of Internet, I could only read her sporadically.
Comment: #43
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:26 PM
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@Lise #43
There are many examples of the Annies not even reading the LETTERS, let alone any commentary on them! ;)
Comment: #44
Posted by: Elbee
Tue Feb 14, 2012 5:55 PM
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Happy Valentine's day everyone. I've had a great Valentine's week. It's been like a parade, a barrage, an extravaganza of gifts. I got roses, I got lilies, I got glads, I got orchids. I got mooned, I got flipped off, I got poked in the eye. I got kissed, I got cheered, I got teased. I got a hundred burgers in a heated van. I got a gold star on my forehead.I got a hundred love poems. I got a kick in the shin. It was more than any girl could ask for. Best. Valentine's. Day. Ever.
Comment: #45
Posted by: Me
Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:34 PM
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Thanks so much to everyone who has extended well wishes and congratulations! You guys are awesome... I'm so freaking tired, LOL. I'm fantasizing about a full night's sleep, which I haven't experienced in weeks, like you wouldn't believe.
Comment: #46
Posted by: PS
Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:39 PM
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I don't enjoy sex while my throat clicks, especially after I've worked in the garden and then hit my head on the cabinet door while washing my hands in the kitchen sink!
Comment: #47
Posted by: Paul
Tue Feb 14, 2012 7:04 PM
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Re: Elbee
Flippin" right.
Comment: #48
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Wed Feb 15, 2012 1:01 AM
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