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Dear Annie: I'm in my early 20s and have been dating "Aidan" for a year. He attends college two hours away. He doesn't socialize much and stresses a lot about his grades. His only real friend is "Cara," a girl we went to high …Read more.
Bare Naked Mommies
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I'm 27 and have not yet had children. Several of my friends are having their second or …Read more.
The Long Trip to Tenuous
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Holidays Sometimes Require Extending Invitations You'd Rather Not
Dear Annie: My brother and "Melanie" had a baby together (unplanned). The boy is now 2 years old. Melanie moved in with my brother before the baby arrived and stayed until two months ago. She was never overly kind to my brother, frequently making insulting remarks to him and saying she could never love him or the baby. But he truly was in love with her. We bent over backward to make her part of our family, but she decided to walk out on him and sever all family ties.
They have shared custody of the child, and my brother will have him for Christmas. My husband and I are hosting the family meal this year. We did not plan on having Melanie, but my brother wants to include her. I told him she was not invited, but he insists, saying she is the mother of his child.
Melanie has never enjoyed being in my home. She is bitter and rude and lacks even the basic manners of a person her age (40). Should I refuse to include her, or do I allow my brother to invite this woman and make the day miserable for everyone else? — Unwilling Sister
Dear Sister: Melanie is going to be in your brother's life forever because she is the mother of his child. She is part of the family whether she wants to be or not, and family members sometimes have to put up with one another at holidays. Please be the bigger person for your brother's sake, and invite Melanie for dinner. If you're lucky, she won't come.
Dear Annie: Recently, the small business that employs me chose to create a web page featuring the owners of the business and what we have to offer. I think websites are a great way to advertise and encourage new business. The problem is, the web page shows photos of the staff.
Due to the nature of my work, which includes bad debt and collection calls, I objected to them using my image. Aside from being a personal privacy issue, it's also a safety issue for me. I wasn't given a choice about the use of my picture, and when I mentioned my concerns, I was told that I wasn't being cooperative.
I am in a management position and always try to set good examples of teamwork, but I thought this was irresponsible. How should I have handled it? — Indiana
Dear Indiana: Privacy issues seem to be a thing of the past, particularly when the company of which you are part is promoting its services online. However, your company has put itself at risk for a lawsuit should anything happen to you as a result of your photograph being on the website. This is the argument you should have made, calmly and rationally, framing it as an effort to protect the business. Those in charge would have been more responsive.
Dear Annie: You printed a letter from "Neglected," who complained that her husband of many years was no longer interested in sex, although he had been earlier in their marriage. You said it could be a hormone deficiency or an affair.
I would like to offer another possibility. I was married to my ex-wife for 29 years. My interest in sex began to wane almost immediately after marriage. The last 10 years together, we had no sex at all. I was not cheating. And my hormones were fine. The problem was, I am gay.
I was raised in a time and place where coming out was not an option. I was advised by my clergy to ignore my feelings and they would go away. They did not, but my very limited ability to have sex with my wife did go away. So, perhaps Neglected's husband is gay and can't find the courage to say so. — J
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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25 Comments | Post Comment
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LW2 from Indiana: It's not too late to get that website modified. Perhaps your picture might be made to not look very much like you. You might want to get a legal opinion to bolster your request.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Pat
Sat Dec 3, 2011 9:54 PM
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I run a small business, and would never presume to use photos of my employees online on in print advertising without their permission. Employers don't own employees, and don't own the right to their print or web images, even when there's not a personal danger factor. I would encourage LW2 to talk to your employer again, and ask say again that you would be more comfortable if the online photo is removed.
Comment: #2
Posted by: Jack Alan
Sat Dec 3, 2011 10:15 PM
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LW2:
I can relate (oh God, can I relate), I work in real estate, as both a broker and as a property manager, meaning I work for landlords....
You can see where this is going.
I deal with disgruntled tenants and evictions, meaning throwing people out of their homes occasionally, or taking them to court.
While I use my legal name when absolutely necessary, the name on my door is a nickname (actually 2 nicknames, for a first and last name) and also the sign on my desk is the same. I keep no personal pictures of family in my office, despite being engaged (and I never will), my e-mail addresses do not contain any semblance of my name. Our soon to be webpage, will not have pictures of any of us.
If I worked for say a collection agency, I would be horrified, and no company has the right to use your face or image without your expressed written consent (a lot of companies get this when they hire you, I doubt your company did this though since you say its a small business).
Easiest way to deal with this, tell them, that having your image on the webpage, affects your ability to do your job at its most effective, and that its a distraction. You want to do your job, to your maximum potential, but do to fear and concern with your image on the page, it affects you while you work, and you fear it hampers your performance. You want to be a team player, but you want to be a good team player, not a slumping one who the rest of the team needs to carry, and you want to keep your head in the game and not worry or deal with distractions so you can help the team, but that this is affecting you, and you feel your hurting the team as a result. This should get the message through.
If that doesn't work, THEN point out the legal liability issues along with the consent issues. FWIW, I would recommend using a carniture or a drawing or some kind of shadow image and ask them to use that instead. I absolutely understand what your going through, I do video work for our properties, and since we use youtube, I go out of my way to make sure I am not seen in the videos (avoiding mirrors and reflections, etc). Its a legitimate concern.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Mookster
Sun Dec 4, 2011 1:51 AM
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LW1 - Why should the whole family be miserable and unhappy for a holiday because of one guest? I, personally, would not invite her. If someone was ill-mannered in my home in the past, they don't get a second invitation. If the brother has a problem with that, it's sad because the child will miss out, but I wouldn't want a rude person ruining all my hard work. I'd cancel hosting the dinner before I'd work my butt off, spend money and time on cleaning and cooking, only to have a miserable time because of a rude guest.
LW2 - Mookster, good for you. You can't be too careful. LW2's safety should come before worrying about being a team player.
Comment: #4
Posted by: FAW
Sun Dec 4, 2011 3:08 AM
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Clarifying. I meant to say:
"If the brother has a problem with that and therefore doesn't attend, it's sad because the child will miss out"
Comment: #5
Posted by: FAW
Sun Dec 4, 2011 3:10 AM
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LW1-
Frankly, I would ask the brother if he wants Miss No Manners in attendance so much that he is willing to risk her being told off at one point, when someone eventually finally gets sick of her attitude?
Comment: #6
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sun Dec 4, 2011 4:04 AM
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LW2: Mookster, you nailed it.
Years ago, i did property management and tenants would call my home number (I didn't give it out, but it was listed) at all hours of the day and night for any number of complaints. I even got called on Christmas Day for a stopped up toilet. The tenants knew to call the onsite janitorial service, but if they were even five minutes getting there, I could expect calls complaining about the service. I did unlist my number, but many of them still had it and would call me, even after I left the company.
Another family member was a PI for a large company and we were all under orders never to discuss her, the company or her job with anyone because it would compromise her very life ( a coworker had mysteriously jumped off a roof of a tall building).
Security at work is nothing to be toyed with. In fact, I'm surprised the owners of the company would want their pictures up either. At my last company we got around this by using avatars (yahoo has a site that will create one for free), but as Mookster says, I don't think I'd allow even my name on the site. When that happens, all a disgruntled person would have to do is a simple Google search to find out where you live (white pages), your FB account (with your picture, family members names, etc), in fact anything with your name on it at all.
Since it's a small company, do as Mookster says. Don't bring out the legal threats unless you absolutely have to.
LW1: Invite Melanie over for a short period of time. For example, if you are doing Christmas Day at your house, invite her for cocktails or something at the end of the day, and invite everybody else for the whole day. Your brother may be under pressure to share the day with Melanie for any number of reasons that you may not know about, including legal. I know this is hard, but The Annies are right here. Now that there is a child involved, she is a part of your family. For the sake of your nephew try to find a happy medium. Noone is saying you have to have her over for the whole day, but make some token effort. If she hates you and your family that much, she most likely won't show up.
Comment: #7
Posted by: nanchan
Sun Dec 4, 2011 4:57 AM
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LW1: You don't say how formal your invitations are. If you don't want her to come, you can "invite" Melanie by telling your brother to tell her she can come. She might think that since it's a secondhand invitation, she doesn't want to come. Or you could send her an email saying your brother thought it would be nice for her to come. Yes, I know that's a bit rude, but at least you've invited her, and not been outwardly mean about it. She probably won't come then.
LW2: Since the company is debt collection, isn't everyone in the same boat as you - they all have the rights to not want their photo online. If they are all ok with it, I'd suggest not complaining about it again. You'll probably have a different hairstyle in a while, and won't resemble the photo that much.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Salty
Sun Dec 4, 2011 6:18 AM
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LW1 says that the "mother" doesn't care anything about her brother OR their small son. So, why is he concerned about having the "mother" around him, his son or his family (including LW1) in the first place?! This "mother" is NOT A FAMILY MEMBER, just 'cause she had a kid by LW1's brother. Tell the "mother" to keep her *happy li'l arse* at home!!!!!
Comment: #9
Posted by: Ms Davie
Sun Dec 4, 2011 6:40 AM
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Re: Ms Davie
I think you missed one important thing. "They have shared custody of the child, and my brother will have him for Christmas. My husband and I are hosting the family meal this year. We did not plan on having Melanie, but my brother wants to include her. I told him she was not invited, but he insists, saying she is the mother of his child."
We are hearing the sister's side of things, not Melanie's or even her brother's. It is entirely possible that Melanie DOES love the child, but in a fit of anger said something like "I hate you and our child"." BUT she cared enough to fight for shared custody of the child. If she really didn't care about the child, she wouldn't have even partial custody.
My personal feeling is that Melanie may be pushing the LW's brother to have the child on Christmas, and he's still in love with her, so he wants her to be inluded in the festivities. She also may be threatening the apply for more time with the child, so he wants to placate her. Who can say? But the sure fire way to get Melanie riled up is to have the type of attitude that you describe. if Melanie doesn't show up after being offered an invite, then the LW has a weapon against her in the next round of custody discussions ("We even invited her to Christmas because she wanted to be included, but she didn't bother to show up>" See?
Sometimes it's better, and smarter, to take the high road and let people hang themselves.
Comment: #10
Posted by: nanchan
Sun Dec 4, 2011 7:06 AM
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LW1: I agree with nanchan, we're hearing a sibling's second-hand account of the situation, we're not hearing from any of the principle people involved. She apparently cares enough about the child to fight for joint custody; otherwise she would have had a perfect opportunity to avoid all responsibility in the custody arrangements. Better to make the invitation, be as pleasant as possible, and if it goes really badly then you can talk with your brother more seriously about this before the next big family event.
LW2: Is the company big enough to have a Human Resources person, or department? You might try scheduling an appointment with them to discuss your concerns. Also, does the picture also include a caption with your name? If it doesn't, I'd be a little less concerned. If it's just your picture among dozens with no way to identify you by name, you probably don't have too much to worry about. If it's a big, individual photo of each staff person with their name and title attached, however, then I think you have more to discuss with HR or management, and your concerns are more serious.
LW3: Yep, that happened all the time, and sadly still does, although happily its become less and less necessary for people to deny themselves like that.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Mike H
Sun Dec 4, 2011 7:29 AM
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LW1 - You may not like it but it looks your brother and Melanies are a package deal. If you invite him and he wants her there you invite her also. How you handle her once she's in your house is up to you :-)
LW2 - I would get legal opinion and I don't blame you but you may need to look for another job too. You're employers are not very bright or they don't understand what kind of business they're in.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Rick
Sun Dec 4, 2011 8:02 AM
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LW1: Your brother wants to spend Christmas with Melanie and their child. It's a sentimental and hopeful wish, not uncommon this time of year. Look at this as your Christmas present to your brother -- you love him and will extend a cheerful invitation and welcome to Melanie. You come out the winner when you do because:
1. If Melanie was never happy in your home, there's a good chance that she looks forward to spending this special day with your extended family exactly as much as you look forward to spending it with her. She will decline, and your brother's dashed hopes are then on her, not on you.
2. If Melanie DOES come, and is a pill, but you are unfailingly gracious to her, it's less credible ammo for her to use against your brother if they break up later -- there can be no "...and your family's NEVER liked me -- they couldn't even bother to ask me to Christmas dinner when they knew my own family was killed in that terrible car accident last summer."
3. There's a chance that Melanie has changed in the last year, come to appreciate family more, and in an effort to make up for her past errors, will be a model guest. Chances may be slim -- but some people really do mature as life continues and things happen. You'll never know if you don't extend the invitation.
4. Would Melanie extend a Christmas dinner invitation to YOU? No? Well, just how much like Melanie do you want to be?
Comment: #13
Posted by: hedgehog
Sun Dec 4, 2011 8:02 AM
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I dunno, nanchan and mike. There's a big difference between yelling that you hate your spouse and son in a fit of anger and saying "I could never love you or our child", which is what she actually said. Especially considering she's not just young and immature--at 40, she should know better. And after 28 years of parenting and four kids, and it has never occured to me to say either of those things, no matter how upset I was about something. I can't imagine saying that about my two-year-old child. Plus, who says she "fought" for joint custody? In Canada, at least, joint custody is the default state--everyone automatically gets joint custody unless there is some dire reason for doing otherwise, and that usually involves lawyers and legal fees. And I'm sure we've all seen enough abused children to know that accepting partial custody or even fighting for full custody is by no means an indication of a parent's love. It can also be used for revenge, power, spite, etc. You could well be right, but I don't think I would draw those conclusions based on that line of reasoning. But bottom line, I agree with the Annies that she should be invited, if the problem is not abuse but simply being a distateful person.
Comment: #14
Posted by: Jane
Sun Dec 4, 2011 8:14 AM
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hedgehog.... LOVE the post! you said wha,t I wanted to but much better! happy sunday!
Comment: #15
Posted by: nanchan
Sun Dec 4, 2011 8:41 AM
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LW1--Oh yes, please do as the Annies suggest and act phony, erect a facade and pretend to tolerate someone you don't like, who doesn't like you and all for what? For a dinner party in which everyone is tense and miserable. In January, the Annie's will be fielding letters from people who did as they suggested and now they're angry and resentful due to family dramas that ensued during their disastrous holiday parties. Please. Either "be the bigger person" or use your common sense. Tell your brother that you'd love to have HIM and your nephew for the holidays but since 'Melanie' is so contentious, you're not including her. If he decides to boycott your gathering, then so be it. Consider your drama free holiday a gift.
Now for the public service announcement. It's called birth control people. If you don't want to end up like LW1's brother and half the other people that write into these columns with similar problems then check into the several dozen forms of birth control available today and ensure you know how to use them properly. With all the options available, there should never be an unplanned pregnancy. A few moments of passion with someone you barely know or someone with whom you're not willing to make a commitment can turn into a lifetime responsibility of difficult and contentious child rearing with this person, which will likely produce a kid with more more baggage than Paris Hilton in the Riviera. Think about that before you slip into your boss's office at the holiday party for a quickie with the hot new temp.
LW2--"Privacy issues seem to be a thing of the past, particularly when the company of which you are part is promoting its services on-line." Wrong! Privacy issues should be of paramount concern to anyone in today's high tech society, regardless of their level of on-line activity. If it isn't identity theft then it's stalking. Or worse, capturing photos of real people (or children) and altering them to sell pornography or indeed any number of products oversees. One woman recently was shocked to find one of her family's photos being used to sell real-estate in the U.K. LW1 should introduce her bosses to the concept of "stock photography" and insist they remove pictures of their actual staff. Do they think the "spokespeople" hawking products in television commercials are real employees of the companies they're advertising? No, of course not! As I said yesterday, common sense seems to be a scarcity these days...
Comment: #16
Posted by: Chris
Sun Dec 4, 2011 9:19 AM
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LW1: You need to suck up your personal feelings and invite Melanie to Christmas dinner, for a few reasons - and while are doing that you need to choose to look at this situation differently because right now it sounds like your feelings are all about you and not the bigger picture.
Reason #1: she may not be family in the technical sense, but she is the child's mother. As such, she has influence on the child and the relationships it develops in the future. She has influence on your brother, and you really have no idea where their relationship will go in the future - they could get married and she will be family, but you will not have fostered good feelings, which is a perfect formula for family division. You do not want that, I guarantee you. Look at the invitation as insurance of goodwill for an unpredictable future.
Reason #2: you do not know the ins and of this relationship, regardless of what you think you know or your brother has told you. Out of respect and love for your brother, give him this gift. Your generosity will make you a person he can trust and when you do speak your piece against her, he will have reason to believe in you.
Reason #3: No one person, regardless of their attitude, has the ability to hi-jack a family holiday. If they are able, then you and your family have chosen to let them. It *is* a choice of attitude and response, period. I know from personal experience as we have someone who has married into our immediate family and is not going anywhere. He has alienated portions of the family, but there are some of us that refuse and cannot allow it if we are to keep our relationship with the person who matters. At every holiday he finds a way to cut us with words, to hurt even the children. We have *chosen* to take the high road, to ignore it. When he says something I either respond directly but unemotionally, calling him out on what he just said. Or I shake my head and walk away. I'm choosing to maintain the relationship I value, because the other choice is alienation. Think about it.
You don't always get to choose who makes up the pieces of your family, but you do get to choose how you handle the ones you don't like. And you will never be wrong if you choose the high road. You will *always* regret it if you choose the low road. Now suck it up and be strong. Respect your brother (he does get a say as part of the family who he brings into the mix, and it's mean to use the argument of "my house.") And as a family, be strong and don't give this woman all the power.
Comment: #17
Posted by: kristen
Sun Dec 4, 2011 11:32 AM
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@Chris: I take issue with what you've written. When dealing with relationships, especially in families, we often have to make compromises and even sacrifices. Don't tolerate someone you don't like? That's what life is often about - managing your feelings, being kind when you don't feel like it, thinking about other people besides yourself. That first paragraph you wrote is all about ME, ME, ME! Why should I go out of my way to foster good relationships - I don't feel like it. Why should I extend myself in a giving way to make someone (brother) happy? I don't feel like it. I'm going to use my personal property and position of host to be the one to hold Christmas hostage - my house, my holiday, all about ME. That is the attitude of a 3 year old ready to throw a tantrum - as adults we should have evolved far beyond that mentality.
And second - your public service announcement is just naive and rather foolish, not to mention judgmental beyond belief. Birth control is not 100%, never has been and never will be, even when used to the most exacting standards. "Safe" sex, in regards to AIDS, pregnancy, and venereal disease is never SAFE sex, it's only safer sex. I know you know this. The only SAFE sex is abstinence. If you are having sex, you are always assuming some risk.
Comment: #18
Posted by: kristen
Sun Dec 4, 2011 11:46 AM
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@ kristen
You're the one being naive. With regards to making sacrifices in planning parties and holiday events, you're speaking in general terms (and by the way, I agree with your totally.) I'm speaking strictly about LW1. She doesn't like Melanie and the feeling is mutual. By her own account, Melanie belittles and denigrates her brother, even in front of their child. Why on Earth would you foist the entire holiday affair into misery by inviting this woman to Christmas for the sake of keeping up appearances (and just to make yourself feel all warm and fuzzy.) Any invitation by LW1 to Melanie will be seen for exactly what it is: about as sincere as the spider's invitation to the fly to step into her parlor.
As for my public service announcement, why is it foolish? I didn't mention STDs for the sake of brevity but I thank you for adding one more reason for people to be more responsible. I made the comments because LW1's statement "My brother and "Melanie" had a baby together (unplanned)..." really raised my ire. There are too many people producing babies "by accident" and then the child suffers while the two mismatched parents try to figure out what to do. While I understand full well that birth control isn't 100% effective, in my experience, too many people seem to eschew birth control in the heat of passion and then simply cross their fingers and hope for the best. While I certainly could have put more thought into my comments so that my point was more clear and more succinct (my apologies) the crux of my position stands.
Comment: #19
Posted by: Chris
Sun Dec 4, 2011 1:57 PM
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Re: Chris
"and all for what?"
For a brother she loves, who happens to want to spend Christmas with the miserable witch because yeah, he's probably still in love with her and, for one day in the year, he wants to pretend he still has a family. Poor guy.
I still stand by my post #6, but I really like the idea of seeing this as the LW's Christmas gift to her brother - good post, hedgehog!
Christmas is supposed to be the season of good will. You never know. Sometimes, things turn out better than expected.
Comment: #20
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sun Dec 4, 2011 3:36 PM
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@Jane, if that's what the mother of the child *really* said, and the context was understood, then I would agree. But we're hearing this second-hand and we don't even know the context.
It easily could be that she said something slightly different in the context of their worst fight ever, but it didn't represent how she really felt -- and the LW is misrepresenting it or misunderstood it.
LW probably wasn't even there, but is relaying information her sibling told her -- and again, he could have been exaggerating in the heat of his distress, but now that things have settled down and he *wants* to have a pleasant separated-but-coparenting arrangement with the mother of the child.
Since the mother had a perfect opportunity to just relinquish al parental rights but instead wanted shared rights, she obviously doesn't truly feel that she "could never love the baby".
I suspect that LW1 -- perhaps being overprotective of her brother -- simply can't see anything but the negative about this woman; whereas her brother understands that he has to raise a child with her, and wants it to be a more cooperative experience. It's the more mature option, and better for the child, and it would be best if LW1 could at least try to follow her brother's wishes, at least for this holiday. Make the attempt, and do her best to make it a pleasant holiday even when this woman is around. Given that she is the child's aunt, she *could* have this woman as a part of her life for quite some time.
Comment: #21
Posted by: Mike H
Sun Dec 4, 2011 5:15 PM
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LW1 - I'm going to back Chris up completely on everything he said. LW1 is presumably planning this party to see the relatives and have a good time. There are several reasons to host a holiday party in your home. One is to actually enjoy yourselves and see people you like. The other is to appear as if you have a normal family and you feel guilted into surrounding yourself with relatives so that you're not alone on the holidays.
After many many miserable holidays with toxic relatives (experience talking), my opinion is that one should only host a party if one is going to enjoy themselves. It's a huge chore to dust the house, clean the bathrooms, buy the groceries, cook the meal, etc. If I'm going to do all that work, it's going to be for a payoff: to spend time with people that I like in my house.
If LW1 doesn't enjoy Melanie's company, for whatever reason, then LW1 shouldn't invite Melanie into the home. If she wants her brother there SO much that she's willing to endure Melanie, then that's her decision.
Personally, I've had enough ruined holidays attending functions and inviting mean guests (because they are related) into my home that I'd rather invite no one, not cook, not clean, and just stay home eating a frozen pizza with my cat than to do a ton of work, dread my own party anxiously for weeks, be on pins and needles during the party, ignore rude remarks and behave graciously despite them, and spend the next few weeks brewing about the rudeness that happened and all the clever retorts I could have used in hindsight.
LW1 should decide if it's worth putting her own happiness and the comfort of all of the rest of her guests (and she's the hostess, so she should value , respect and protect their happiness too or they won't want to return to her house in the future and have a miserable time) on the line to accommodate her brother's wishes. Personally, I don't let guests dictate my guest list to me.
As to the birth control thing, right, no form is 100% effective. But there's no law saying you can't use multiple forms at a time! Many very fertile people have success preventing pregnancy using at least 3 forms of birth control.
Comment: #22
Posted by: FAW
Sun Dec 4, 2011 5:44 PM
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Re: Mike H
"It easily could be that she said something slightly different"
You're right. My dear friend Sandra - she has a habit of "rewording" what people say. When I catch her red-handed doing it about something I said, I'll never fail to correct, saying, "hey, this is NOT what I said, what I said was..." To which she'll reply, well, it's the same thing. And trust me, it never is.
This could very well be a version of the same. People do that all the time - paraphrase freely and then treat it as a direct quote.
@FAW
"I'd rather invite no one, not cook, not clean, and just stay home eating a frozen pizza with my cat"
Know how THAT feels. Years ago, I had this boyfriend, Mister Crazy Singer... his family was the most dysfunctional I have ever seen. One of his sisters was a diagnosed paranoid-schizophrenic and in and out of mental institutions, another was a repetitive total breakdowner with crazy eyes and on sick leave from work six months a year, EVERY one of his brothers were dripping venom about all women the minute they opened their mouths... and the mother, she liked to set them up against each other and found that immensely fun-nee and entertaining. Yrrrrch. Not to mention that they all got together and her place, which was a 3 1/2, they all smoked like chimneys and I have asthma.
I went ONCE. After that, I informed him that I would rather scrub my kitchen floor on all fours on Christmas eve listening to carols on the radio than go back there for the holidays. Bllllp, blllp, blllp. forget it, no can do.
Comment: #23
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sun Dec 4, 2011 6:30 PM
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LW2
You should put your objections is writing. Be pithy ~sincere but not emotive. Check what is written in your contract of employment, and with your local area business representatives (chamber of commerce, state employment bureau, etc) for any precedence in this matter. You employer may not understand the implications in brushing aside your concerns.
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Comment: #24
Posted by: Word A Day Mate
Mon Dec 5, 2011 12:12 PM
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Whoops - I meant precedents, not precedence.
Comment: #25
Posted by: Word A Day Mate
Mon Dec 5, 2011 12:13 PM
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