Talk to Me by William Moyers on Creators.com

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Talk to Me

It's a question I'm asked no matter where I speak, from churches and Rotary Club events to public-school assemblies and private luncheons with business leaders: Should parents share their personal histories of drug and alcohol use with their kids?

A groundbreaking study released this week by Hazelden, where I work, should answer this question once and for all. It is no longer acceptable for parents simply to urge their children to "just say no."

Among the results of Hazelden's "Four Generations Overcoming Addiction" survey:

—Half of teens say it would make them less likely to use drugs if their parents told them about their own drug use when they were younger.

—Two-thirds of teens say their parents already have told them about their experiences with alcohol or other drugs when they were young, and these teens almost unanimously say such honesty about drug use is a good thing.

—Among the one-third of teenagers who report their parents have not talked with them about their own use of drugs as teenagers, 68 percent say that they would want their parents to share these past experiences.

—About 75 percent of teens say they'd turn to their parents as their No. 1 source of advice about the use of alcohol or other drugs, even though 26 percent have seen their parents drunk or high on alcohol or drugs.

—Parents who have not told their teenage children about their own use of alcohol or other drugs yet most commonly say the reason is they'd rather have their children do as they say, not as they did when they were their children's ages.

—When parents tell their teens about their use of alcohol or other drugs, it does not significantly decrease the teens' perceptions of their parents as role models.

In fact, teens who are aware of their parents' experiences with alcohol or other drugs as teenagers are nearly as likely as those who are not aware to consider their parents to be role models (90 percent versus 93 percent).

The Hazelden study (http://FourGenerations.org) suggests a major shift has occurred in the course of one generation, as parents of today's teenagers are much more open with their children about their early use of drugs than were their own parents. Sixty-three percent of parents say that when they were teens, their parents told them "nothing" about their use of alcohol or other drugs when they were teenagers.

Growing up in the 1970s, as a teenager, I never talked with my parents about alcohol or other drugs, much less about whether they themselves ever had experimented. Even though alcoholism had infiltrated our family tree, we never talked about that, either.

A few years later, I became addicted to those substances. Who knows whether awareness about my family's history would have made a difference in my journey?

But today I don't take any chances. My three teenagers know my story of addiction and recovery. I tell them that if they choose to experiment with mood-and mind-altering substances, they may not be able to choose the outcome. But I emphasize this, too: "If you develop a problem, don't be afraid to talk to me, because it is OK to ask for help."

William Moyers is the vice president of foundation relations for the Hazelden Foundation and the author of "Broken," his best-selling memoirs, and "A New Day, A New Life." Please send your questions to William Moyers at wmoyers@hazelden.org. To find out more about William Moyers and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.