As the dissipating shadows of the Iraq War recede into the liberal political spin bookmakers will place upon it in our history texts, our politicians are working hard this very moment by turning their stalwart and undivided attentions toward one very important problem that is now facing this great nation of ours:

Who the heck are we going to bomb next?

Right now in Washington, our elected officials and late-night comedy show punch lines are hard at work with reaching the outcome of that very dilemma with fear-inducing propaganda that's sure to make you feel like a red-blooded, flag-waiving, hot dog-eating American, tried and true — red, white and blue.

Here is a list of possible considerations:

Iran: The leader of Iran is some guy called I-Cannot-Pronounce-His-Name, and he is clearly a client of Just for Men (beard and mustache). "Iran" is also a common saying in this Middle Eastern saber-rattling country. Ask any Iranian villager what he or she does when I-Cannot-Pronounce-His-Name or one of his uber-fascist patrols comes blowing into town to either rig presidential elections or commit out-and-out genocide and he or she will simply reply: "I ran!"

North Korea: Sometimes I think America acts like that jealous kid at school who finds out that another kid brought in the same thing in for show and tell. They might have a nuke? Well, we have thousands. I don't think we need to let the sands of father time decide who the victor in this latest and greatest international genitalia-measuring flare-up will be, huh?

We should try mending this ailing country before decimating another, but what do I know, right? Nevertheless, our fate will soon be sealed: North Korea will angrily incite not only World War III, but also World War IV — the latter taking place on the moon after the former destroys Earth.

Afghanistan — again: Of course, I know we're already at war with them, but why should we let that stop us? Bomb them back to the Stone Age for all I care ... but that would probably be a vast technological advancement for them, judging from the reconnaissance photographs I've seen.

Iraq: The third time is always the charm. Except maybe this time we ought to vaporize the country before we rebuild it with taxpayer money again — again.

South Korea: I always forget which one is the bad Korea and which one is the good Korea. Better safe than sorry, I always say.

Pakistan: Or any other country with the suffix "-stan" as far as I'm concerned. How many times does America have to prove this to the world? Isn't it apparent by now? If you govern a country ending in "-stan," get out while you still can.

Oprah Winfrey: I realize she isn't an actual country, but her global dominance and influence are too hard for me to ignore. The media could call it World War Winfrey. Has a certain charm to it, don't you think?

Italy: Yes, Italy. It's nothing personal, and we can even give them advanced notice if it makes you feel better, but I'm sick and tired of Italy being shaped like a boot. I'm sure that once all of the smoke and debris clears, Italy will still be shaped ... like something else.

Switzerland: Let's find out just how neutral they really are. Either we prove them hypocrites on the world's stage, or we roll over them like we would trounce a 5-year-old at a game of Scrabble.

And once all of those countries are out of the way, America — provided it has not crumbled due to neglect — could cherry-pick the stragglers.

Like Canada, but just the French-speaking parts; Qatar, because in America we put "u" after the letter "q," and if you are not with us, then you stand against us; or even Israel.

OK, maybe not Israel, but definitely Vietnam.

On second thought, maybe not Vietnam, either.

To contact Will E Sanders, visit his website at willesanders.com, or send him an email at [email protected]. To find out more about Will E Sanders and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.