Sylvia Rimm on Raising Kids from Creators Syndicate

Medical Resident Has Little Time for Family for 05/27/2012

Sun, 27 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: My husband is a medical resident and works more than 10 hours a day and often on weekends. We have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old, and I often feel like a single parent. My children (especially the 3-year-old) are old enough to notice. Do you have any advice for me?

A: I often speak on the importance of balance in life, and I am certain that at this time, neither you nor your husband f ...

Updated: Sun May 27, 2012

Sister Competition Is Normal for 05/23/2012

Wed, 23 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I'm trying to take your advice about encouraging my daughters so we can be a "whole, smart family," but it's not working. My 6-year-old daughter's very good at art, for example, and my 5-year-old's fixated on trying to be as good. No matter how often we explain to her that she's a year younger than her sister, our 5-year-old continues to compare herself in everything and inevitably ...

Updated: Wed May 23, 2012

Teen May Have Poor Social Skills for 05/20/2012

Sun, 20 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: My youngest daughter is 15 years old and in the ninth grade at a challenging academic magnet school. She's doing well enough in school, but I'm concerned about her social skills. To put it bluntly, she can be a bore. She seems happy and has some friends, especially since she's been in the magnet program. I wonder how much her poor conversation skills are hurting her socially. She often rattl ...

Updated: Sun May 20, 2012

Daughter Fearful When Tested for 05/16/2012

Wed, 16 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: Could you tell me what affects what a child considers to be a bad grade and how she reacts to it? I also wonder why my daughter sometimes says she "blanks" on tests, even if she's studied. Do you think she has test anxiety, and is that an actual condition or just a feeling? What can I do to help my daughter with test anxiety, and do girls have it more than boys?

A: Some chil ...

Updated: Wed May 16, 2012

Six-Year-Old Hungers for Too Much Food for 05/13/2012

Sun, 13 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I'm a mom of three young girls (ages 6, 4 and 3) and in need of some advice. We were told that my 6-year-old was approaching the upper limit of normal weight at her recent checkup. The problem is that she's very competitive regarding food. I'll make ravioli or chicken nuggets for the family and before she's even finished what's on her plate, she's looking for more out of the pot or will stea ...

Updated: Sun May 13, 2012

Family Obligations Can be Difficult for 05/09/2012

Wed, 09 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I have a problem that has dominated my adult life and don't know how to handle it. My parents were simple, hardworking people who did the best they could for their four children. If my brother and sisters were unrelated to me, I would have nothing to do with them. My brother's very skilled at sensing when people are vulnerable and taking advantage of their trust, and he's financially very co ...

Updated: Wed May 09, 2012

Girls Mature Earlier for 05/06/2012

Sun, 06 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: My wife and I are from Spain, and I have two children spaced 15 months apart, an older boy and a younger girl. I am trying to get the girl into school in September. Her brother started last year. However, the system in Spain does not allow me to do so due to the time of the year they were born. I am sending a letter to try to get an exemption for her, since I believe the kids will benefit fr ...

Updated: Sun May 06, 2012

Mom Struggles With Tween Drama for 05/02/2012

Wed, 02 May 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I have a 10-year-old daughter that I gave birth to when I was 18 years old (her dad was 22 at the time). I've had wonderful help and support from my mom but was otherwise a single parent for years. My daughter would sometimes go months without seeing or talking to her dad. I'd allow her to go with him whenever he asked, but he rarely asked. She was an only child for eight years, until I had ...

Updated: Wed May 02, 2012

Parent May be Overpraising and Smart High School Student Is Underachiever for 04/29/2012

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: How do you praise a child who doesn't like to be praised and downplays everything?

A: When children don't like to be praised, it may be because parents overpraise. Of course, I can't say for sure that's your child's problem, but overpraise with "est" words such as best or smartest may sound unrealistic to children or may make them feel as if too much is expected of them. If ...

Updated: Sun Apr 29, 2012

Should You Pay Kids for Chores? And Siblings Often Compete for 04/25/2012

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I never paid or gave rewards to our kids for doing their chores because I was raised on the basis that everyone helps out around the house. Today I see some kids being paid. Which is the appropriate action to take?

A: Many parents ask this question and there really is no one correct answer to it. I usually suggest that children be expected to do chores around the house without any pay ...

Updated: Wed Apr 25, 2012

Single Parent Needs a Supportive Team for 04/22/2012

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I'm a single parent of a 13-year-old girl who seems to know everything. I know I'm not perfect, and I've made mistakes in her upbringing. Her father left six years ago, and my work hours fluctuate, so our home life isn't as stable as it could be. I wish I could get a different job, but for now, I have to accept what I have.

My daughter doesn't seem to have any respect for me or want t ...

Updated: Sun Apr 22, 2012

Sexual Abuse Doesn't Always Feel Uncomfortable for 04/18/2012

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I read your recent column regarding the situation with the 5-year-old girl at school and child abuse reporting and wanted to point out something about your wording choice that I'd like to question. The sentence you wrote was, "If children or adults, boys or girls, touch her private parts or touch her in any way that makes her feel uncomfortable..."

My issue is with the word ...

Updated: Wed Apr 18, 2012

Parents Should be Friends on Teens' Facebook for 04/15/2012

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I read your column and have a question about what some of my friends are going through. I'm OK with checking a teenager's Internet activity if there's suspicion, but most kids aren't doing anything wrong. We get so many messages at school and on TV about being careful who we friend on Facebook or chat with that I think most of us are pretty aware of the danger.

I'm not saying that par ...

Updated: Sun Apr 15, 2012

Talented Artist and Composer Can't Find Work for 04/11/2012

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: Thanks again for your wonderful insights and your way of expressing them for us. What should a parent do when they have an adult "child" who's age 59 and doesn't have a steady living? Our son's extremely talented as a composer, artist and chef, yet he is unable to make a living at any of them. Cooking worked for a while, but his eyes are getting bad, which makes knives dangerous. A ...

Updated: Wed Apr 11, 2012

Sibling Rivalry Can Continue in Adulthood for 04/08/2012

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: My wife and I are divorced, and I'm a "very" senior citizen who knows that my life won't continue too many more years. I have three adult daughters, and the younger two are close to each other. They live in the same city near me, and we actually spend a fair amount of time together. My oldest daughter lives farther away, and the two younger ones want little to do with her, even whe ...

Updated: Sun Apr 08, 2012

Underachiever Admits Her Struggle for 04/04/2012

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I'm a junior in high school, and I suppose you could label me as an underachiever. Ever since sixth grade, I've struggled with completing my assignments. I usually say I've forgotten to do them, but in reality, I just don't want to do them. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I still won't get positive results. I know that I'm smart and a very talented writer, but I have no drive to do any ...

Updated: Wed Apr 04, 2012

Parents Can Play Favorites for 04/01/2012

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: My adult, married daughter has three children, two boys, ages 10 and 6, and a girl, age 5. She seems to favor the younger two children more than the older boy. When we are around, the younger two are always praised, while the older one is hardly ever praised or encouraged. They are all smart and do well in school. How do I talk with my daughter about her favoritism, as I feel my grandson is ...

Updated: Sun Apr 01, 2012

Touch Screens Don't Give All the Answers for 03/28/2012

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: I taught preschool for 15 years and would like to remind parents that strong fine motor muscles are necessary for writing. Play dough, clay, Legos, crayons and colored pencils are examples of materials that help build muscles in the fingers. Children need to use real items to learn and cannot do this well on a computer screen. Touch screens don't help.

A: I watched a 3-year-old in an ...

Updated: Wed Mar 28, 2012

Emotional Intensity Can be Wonderful for 03/25/2012

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: What tools can parents equip themselves with to effectively deal with a child's emotional intensity?

A: I am sure you know that emotional intensity can be a wonderful quality. On one hand, emotionally intense children are usually sensitive, interesting and creative. On the other hand, they can also be over sensitive, overreact, never stop talking and wear parents out. Usually, they li ...

Updated: Sun Mar 25, 2012

Grandfather Worried About Pressure for 03/21/2012

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 00:00:00 -0700

Q: What are the guideposts for teaching preschool children in the home? How much effort or pressure should be exerted when it's no longer fun for the preschooler?

My daughter adopted a child when she was in her late 40s. She's left her career and spends her entire time teaching and caring for her daughter. It seems too much to me, and I'm worried about the pressure her daughter may be f ...

Updated: Wed Mar 21, 2012