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Ann Landers


"CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: Why don't YOU MYOB? A while back, you wrote a column on "Reconciliation Day" in which you urged your readers to "forgive and forget — let bygones be bygones." At 10:30 on the night that column appeared, we received a …Read more. "CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: Please tell your readers not to dump their mothers, fathers or other loved ones into just any old nursing home and assume they will be well cared for. Urge them to select a home that has been looked into carefully, one where they …Read more. "CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: I certainly can understand why some of the women who write to you need an unbiased party to help them avoid the land mines that show up in relationships AFTER they have become deeply involved. I was one of those women myself. My …Read more. "CLASSIC" ANN LANDERS Dear Ann Landers: You said in a recent column that young people must learn decent language at home. I believe outsiders also can be a big help. A few years ago, I went swimming with my 8-year-old granddaughter and her friends. Some teenagers nearby …Read more.
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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I just got a phone call from my son. He said, "I've been arrested for possession of marijuana with intent to distribute." I knew he had used marijuana on occasion, but I'm sure he never tried to sell it. A lawyer told me if someone is caught with marijuana, chances are, the police will add "intent to distribute" even in the absence of supporting evidence. The accusation of intent changes the crime from a misdemeanor to a felony.

Ann, my son is a good kid who attends college and has a part-time job. He didn't hurt anyone. He didn't steal anything. He didn't cheat anybody. He was caught with marijuana for his own personal use, and for this, he could get 30 years in prison. He has never gotten so much as a parking ticket.

I don't approve of smoking grass, nor do I approve of smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol. But this punishment seems excessive. I can't help but think of the thousands of families that have suffered this same horror. These harsh laws hurt us all. People who criminalize marijuana believe that users are dangerous addicts in dark trench coats, lurking near playgrounds, ready to pounce on young children.

I plead for compassion for those who are hurting only themselves when they use dangerous substances. What they need is counseling and medical intervention, not prison. Harsh laws don't work. Furthermore, they cost us a fortune in taxes to prosecute and incarcerate people who pose no danger to society.

Enough. — A Sad Mother in Va.

Dear Sad Mother: I'm sad about your son's predicament. If the police added "intent to distribute" without real evidence, your son will need the help of a competent lawyer who can get those charges dismissed.

I have long believed that the laws regarding marijuana are too harsh. Those who keep pot for their own personal use should not be treated as criminals. Thirty years in prison makes no sense whatsoever. I'm with you.

Dear Ann Landers: I am a male responding to the letter about women who fake orgasms. In order to demonstrate how ridiculous your response was, I am violating the most sacred secret of the male sanctuary. The truth is that men fake orgasms, too. One sure clue of faking is that immediately after the "performance," he will pretend to be totally exhausted and go right to sleep. By so doing, he leaves his woman fulfilled and happy and avoids any kind of confrontation regarding the legitimacy of his performance. Clever? — Phoenix

Dear Phoenix: I can't resist the temptation to make a lame joke about Phoenix rising — from the ashes, that is. Let's just say that your duplicity is noble, but I doubt you are getting away with anything.

Ann Landers' booklet "Nuggets and Doozies" has everything from the outrageously funny to the poignantly insightful. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Nuggets, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at




1 Comments | Post Comment
Dear Anne
I am a 26 year old professional that has finally found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with. This has not been without first experiencing a few bad relationships on my path to discovery.
One of these "bad relationships" resulted in a joint house that had to be divided when we split, a house that at the time of our break-up was worth less than our purchase price. I fought tooth and nail and was too stubborn to walk away from my investment and ended up owning it solely even though it was in a different city than I worked. I rented it out when it did not sell, lived through the nightmare of not 1 but 2 insurance claims leaving not only my property to be put back together but me as well. I was finally was able to sell it and regain my equity after 2 and a half years
As I worked out I ended up renting a house from my now boyfriends parents for the last year since I was unable to purchase another property in the city I was working.
Now that everything is finally coming together and my house is sold we as a couple took this opportunity to invest in a full duplex that I can live in and rent out until we decided to get married and than it can provide rental income for our family. We pooled both our incomes and my equity for a down payment so that we could be approved for this property. After a nail biting day and beating out 8 other offers ours was accepted.
The whole timeline of my sale being finalized and the purchase being accepted was within 48hrs of each other and as a result of all this happening so quickly I was unable to give his parents a full months notice before I moved and started our payments for this new place. They were informed that I was looking to purchase once my house sold and they planned on listing a selling their rental property once I moved. Now as the situation unfolds and plans are being finalized they requested me to pay an extra month's rent to compensate for not giving them sufficient notice.
I do agree that in a rental situation it is completely fair for me to pay extra and would have no issues doing so. However, I have been dating their son for two years and feel like a part of the family. Also, given the fact that my equity is being used to benefit both myself and their son I was a little taken back and hurt by this request. I am sinking emotionally drained money that was not easily earned to create a better life for the both of us. They are very well off and always say money is not an issue and were even waiting for me to move to list their place so it could be shown vacant. I feel they are penalizing me for capitalizing on opportunity for their son and I.
I don't want them to think less of me for how everything worked out and feel like I am cheating them out of money but also feel that it is unfair to seek extra compensation for such a minuscule costs when the future impact this choice will have on our lives is exponential. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Comment: #1
Posted by: Torn
Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:07 AM
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