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RELEASE: SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2011

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Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999.

Dear Ann Landers: I want to express my sympathy to "J.F. in Racine, Wis.," regarding his hearing loss. I have been going through this for many years. The people you think would be the most sympathetic (my family) seem to be the least tolerant. People outside the family tend to be understanding, and oddly enough, my family is very nice to strangers who have this same problem, but not to me.

My wife screams that I am driving her crazy, and my oldest daughter just makes fun of me. The other daughter says "never mind" when I ask her to repeat something. The oldest son gives me a dirty look, goes in his room and shuts the door. The other son is like his mother — he just yells. When I sit at the dinner table, I might as well be eating next door. They ignore me, so I usually eat with the grandchildren. They don't seem to mind that I can't hear too well. When I ask them to repeat something, they do so graciously, and nobody gives me a dirty look.

Please print this letter. It will make me feel better. — Deaf in Chatsworth, Calif.

Dear Chatsworth: Here's your letter, and I hope it will generate some sympathy and understanding.

You certainly have mine, because my hearing is also less than perfect, and I appreciate it when people don't mind repeating for my benefit.

Dear Ann Landers: A reader recently complained about the markings on plus-size clothing. My complaint is the location of the plus-size departments. Over half of all women in North America wear size 14 and up, but the stores find the furthest point available to display these garments. The size 2s are always by the door and hit you in the eye when you enter. When a large woman sees how small they are, she becomes depressed.

I am 5 foot 10 and need plus sizes to accommodate my height. I refuse to hide in the corners when I shop, so now I buy clothes through catalogs that make us Big Mamas feel attractive. Don't print my name, Ann, just sign me — Big Mama from Chicago

Dear Big Mama: Although I'm a Little Mama, I'm with you. Here's your letter. I hope somebody listens.

"A Collection of My Favorite Gems of the Day" is the perfect little gift for that special someone who is impossible to buy for. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Collection, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2011 CREATORS.COM


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I know these letters are old and I highly doubt LW1 is reading this. If he is, I would recommend seeking further treatments for his hearing problems. I have slight hearing issues, and know several others with a range of hearing problems- and a few people who plain don't listen the first time and need to hear everything twice. And I doubt his family enjoys treating him like a pariah. It IS aggravating to have to constantly repeat oneself and never be understood. It's aggravating to be the one never able to hear anything either, which is why I suggest looking into other treatment options.

The other thing LW ought to consider is his own responses. If he can't hear something, does he say "pardon" or something along those lines, or "WHAT?!" (my father, who seems to be losing his hearing, does this quite often, and it's grating). Little things like that can make a big difference.

Finally, a few tips for LWs family can go a long way, if they don't already know these things. Speak clearly, don't mutter, and look at LW when you speak. If you want to address LW directly, say his name first so he "tunes in." I volunteer with a young man who is deaf in one ear, and I've learned that he won't even realize you're talking to him unless you say his name first, and that talking to the back of his head is basically useless. These are small adjustments the family can make that might allow LW1 to follow along more easily, and reduce aggravation for everyone.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Jers
Sun Dec 4, 2011 10:47 AM
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