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Nosy Neighbors and Inconvenient Ordinances


Dear Annie: My husband, "Ken," has been self-employed for 25 years. He owns two large trailers and has always parked them in our driveway. However, in the past two months, we've had visits from the police department nearly every night. A neighbor we have never met keeps reporting us. He complains that when my husband gets home from work, he sometimes parks his truck with one tire resting in the dirt.

A city ordinance requires us to have the section where we park either rocked or paved. We can't afford it right now. Times have been really tough. Ken tries very hard to park our trailers and truck in our driveway without touching any grass, but it's difficult to do. The police have been sympathetic, saying the neighbor is targeting us. They know him as the local troublemaker. He has a view of our driveway from his backyard and watches it all the time.

We are honest, hardworking people and wouldn't harm a soul, but this situation has become personal. Yesterday, we asked the police officer to file a neighbor nuisance report. We don't know what else to do. I can't sleep, and I'm scared for my family. I have no idea what else this man is capable of. I'm ready to have a restraining order placed against him, but as far as I know, he doesn't approach our house. He only watches it, which creeps me out even more. Can we do anything? — Illinois Neighbor

Dear Illinois: Your unkind, nosy neighbor has way too much time on his hands. He can watch your house from a distance all day long if he wishes, and as long as you keep violating a city ordinance, he will keep reporting you. First, see whether there is a neighborhood association that could help the two of you resolve this. Sometimes, such neighbors simply crave attention and need to feel important. Then start saving your pennies to enlarge the driveway area.

Dear Annie: My friend "Lonnie" smokes both tobacco and marijuana in the presence of her young child.

Anytime I mention the subject and tell her I don't support her smoking, she completely ignores me. I feel terrible being associated with a person who can't see the effect tobacco and drug use will have on her child. I often wonder what will happen when her daughter realizes that her entire schedule is based around Mommy's smoke break.

I am ready to move on from this tainted friendship, but hate the thought of never spending quality time with Lonnie's little girl. She is always put on the back "burner." Any suggestions? — Burned-Out Friend

Dear Friend: Lonnie is addicted. Quitting is too difficult for her, and she doesn't want to be lectured about it. She is unlikely to admit that she values her smoking above her child's health. Is there a father in the picture? Would he do anything about this? Would you be willing to report Lonnie for possession? Regardless, please stick around in order to keep an eye on the child. Offer to baby-sit. Take her to your home or to the park as often as you can. We hope Lonnie will soon realize the damage she is doing and shape up.

Dear Annie: "Saskatoon" asked whether it was rude for someone to leave the TV on while others were visiting. There could be another reason besides rudeness.

I am the caregiver for someone who keeps the TV on all day. Unfortunately, people don't realize she has dementia and is mostly deaf. Since she cannot understand conversations going on around her and becomes more confused if asked to participate in them, the TV provides a safe and comfortable haven.

Please help your readers understand that there may be other reasons why someone keeps the TV on, and the caregivers are the ones who would appreciate a visit with conversation. — New Hampshire

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at



140 Comments | Post Comment
LW1 - why don't you go over & introduce yourself to this neighbor & see why this bothers him so much? Maybe the 2 of you can work something out or you can talk him into giving you a break. It is easy to make faceless complaints & harder to complain about someone when you have to face them after you've done it. Go talk to the guy & be polite & see what happens. In the meantime, you've had 25 years to either make a bigger driveway or figure out how to park in the one you have. I'm surprised the police aren't writing you tickets since you are violating city ordinances. You should be glad you've gotten a free pass this long.
LW3 - this is one of the dumbest things I've ever read in the 3rd letter. The caretaker thinks the visitors don't know that the woman has dementia & is deaf, & she wishes visitors would talk to her instead of wasting time on the person they came to see? ? If the caretaker values conversation so much, maybe she should mention the dementia & the deafness to the visitors.
Comment: #1
Posted by: kai archie
Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:16 PM
LW1: Yikes! Gladys Kravitz from Wed. letters has a twin brother Glen who is a parking Nazi to boot!

What I don't get is why this is causing you this much stress. OK: you know the guy is unreasonable, the police even think he's whacked.... at this point you have to let this go. Let him call in as many times as he wants too. Maybe even have a few handfuls of gravel to sprinkle amongst the tires. You can't change him, you can only change your response. Blow it off. The police are.

LW2: I have no problem with marijuana usage, and never have. I think it's ridiculous that it's illegal: that's my OPINION, but just like I would never be drunk/incapicitated around a young child, I would never be STONED/incapacitated around a young child. Young children need attention. Is your friend getting wasted around her son? Let's just ask this question: would you be as offended if your friend had a glass of wine around her son? Without being drunk?
Comment: #2
Posted by: nanchan
Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:33 PM
LW1 - re the neighbor - It always amazes me when people have no real problems, but instead of enjoying that, they have to invent imagined ones and get all worked up. For goodness sake, go volunteer somewhere if you have nothing better to do!
But the LW really should follow Kai Archie's excellent advice (and don't do what others will probably suggest - look for little violations on your neighbors property, or create them and vindictively report them. Do you really want to get in an all out war that will just continue to escalate?) Instead, see if you can defuse the situation by talking to the neighbor with genuine compassion, and without combativeness, and explain your situation. It is possible that when he sees you are real people trying to do your best, and not doing these things "just to annoy him", he might calm down.
Comment: #3
Posted by: Steve C
Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:39 PM
It probably wouldn't cost very much to have some gravel delivered. They'll dump it in a big pile and you get a bucket and spread it around the sides of your driveway to make it wider.

Comment: #4
Posted by: nonegiven
Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:48 PM
LW1 Perhaps a kind neighbor would let you park one of the trailers in their driveway?
As for the TV on for the dementia patient: Why not just move the conversation to another room?
Comment: #5
Posted by: sarah stravinska
Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:23 PM
"Report Lonnie for possession"?! When some states mandate months or years in prison for possession of a tiny amount of marijuana? What a wonderful way to "help" your friend and get closer to her daughter! (Yes, that is sarcasm!) The Annies have given some appalling advice before, but this beats all. Do they ever think of the possible consequences of the actions they recommend? If these were the alcohol-prohibition years, they'd be beating the drum to put everyone who every had a sip of beer or wine, in jail. I have no fondness for marijuana usage, and have done my best to discourage it in my own grown children, because it is mildly addictive and can impair judgement. But the evidence is strong that it's far less harmful than drinking alcoholic beverages. I think the Annies have truly lost their minds.
Comment: #6
Posted by: sarah morrow
Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:36 PM

LW3 refers to the second letter on 7 February 2012, and was also discussed on 19 March 2012.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Miss Pasko
Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:14 PM
The unabashed television viewer will not change. Better to read a good book when you visit.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Word A Day Mate
Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:32 PM
The unabashed television viewer will not change. Better to read a good book when you visit.
Comment: #9
Posted by: Word A Day Mate
Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:38 PM
Miss Pasko / comment 7 - thanks so much for continuing your posts despite the issues. The funny thing about today's LW1 is that it is similar to the Miss Pasko situation - people who probably don't have any actual problems to deal with, so instead of finding something constructive to do, they decide to spend their time being destructive.
Comment: #10
Posted by: Steve C
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:26 AM
The point isn't if pot is better or worse than alcohol. A person can drink a glass of wine and it does not impair the Heath of any other person in the room. A person cannot smoke a cigarette or joint and not have it impair any other person in the home. She may very well be getting her young daughter stoned every time she lights up. Plus, how is her daughter to learn how to be a responsible adult with a stoner mother. Not to mention what could happen while mommy is stoned. I would call CPS. Pot is for single people who want to party. Once one is a parent they need to focus on their kids, not party time.
Comment: #11
Posted by: MT
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:36 AM

LW3 refers to the second letter on 7 February 2012, and was also discussed on 19 March 2012.
Comment: #12
Posted by: The Original Miss Pasko
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:13 AM
LW1 - I agree with the posters who recommend that you visit the nosey neighbor in a non-confrontational way and explain to him that you are doing the best you can and are trying to comply with the city ordinance, but are having financial difficulties and are working as hard as you can to get to the point where you can enlarge your driveway. What about asking him for suggestions as to how you could work out complying with the ordinances while you're saving up for the larger driveway? Give him something to do by helping you come up with solutions to the problem, rather than reporting you to the authorities continually. It may not work, but it can't hurt.

LW2 - Reporting Lonnie to the authorities or CPS could possibly result in her arrest and her child being placed in foster care. Is this what you want? Try everything you can (again, in a non-confrontational way) to make Lonnie aware of the physical damage she is doing to her child by smoking both pot and cigarettes around her. Most addicts are in total denial of what their addictions are doing to other people. If there is a father in the picture, speak to him about it. Otherwise, there's not much you can do without reporting Lonnie to the authorities, which in my opinion will do more harm than good.
Comment: #13
Posted by: Kitty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:47 AM
LW1 - My suggestion is to quit your jobs and go on welfare, so you can keep an eye on your home and property. Welfare is wonderful, BTW - you can stay home all day and post constantly on internet advice sites, and somebody else pays you for it!
Comment: #14
Posted by: The Original Miss Pasko
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:53 AM
LW1 - Some people have no lives and your neighbor is one of them. I understand that it's against your city's law to have a vehicle parked on area other than pavement or gravel but I would never call the cops on someone for that! So a tire is on the what?

I agree with kai, though. Go over to your neighbor, introduce yourself and ask him why he has such an issue with this. However, if he's a coward, he may not answer the door and he may refuse to speak to you.

I think nonegiven made a good point. See what the cost of some gravel is and do what you have to in order to fix the problem. It's either pay for gravel or keep paying for tickets.

LW2 - I'm with MT on this one. I do NOT condone getting stoned or drunk when you have a child to look after. There was a mother in my neighborhood who got so drunk that she passed out and her toddler ended up wandering outside late at night and got hit by a car. She is getting stoned when she has a child to care for and it's possible that her child is getting stoned, too, if she is near Mom when she's smoking a joint. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but I would call CPS on her for the weed use. If you want to party, then don't have kids.
Comment: #15
Posted by: Michelle
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:00 AM
Re Yesterday's post by Penny #66

Just for the record -- I once had a comment I made here showing up as the post being from "Sam" instead of "Kitty". I have no idea who Sam is and I don't recall a poster by that name EVER showing up here. It only happened once, and it remains a mystery to me.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Kitty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:21 AM
Miss Pasko (re:#14). I hope you are being sarcastic.
If you are not... THAT is PATHETIC!

I was one who was annoyed with the Public Service Announcements, but when I read so many comments from readers who appreciate them, I accepted them and - as so many suggested - just passed right over them. However, now since it appears that you might be sitting around using taxpayer dollars to support your "habit"... I am, again, pretty annoyed. Go get a job!!
Comment: #17
Posted by: martha
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:27 AM
Miss Pasko (re:#14). I hope you are being sarcastic.
If you are not... THAT is PATHETIC!
I was one who was annoyed with the Public Service Announcements, but when I read so many comments from readers who appreciate them, I accepted them and - as so many suggested - just passed right over them. However, now since it appears that you might be sitting around using taxpayer dollars to support your "habit"... I am, again, pretty annoyed. Go get a job!!
Comment: #18
Posted by: martha
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:29 AM
Okay, now I'm thinking I may have responded to a "Miss Pasko Imposter." If so, my apologies to Miss Pasko. What a bunch of malarky all of this playing "Miss Pasko" has turned out to be. Sorry I posted.
Comment: #19
Posted by: martha
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:33 AM
I don't know if any of the various Miss Paskos are on welfare. But I know that Lise is.
Comment: #20
Posted by: Chris
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:47 AM
I wasn't putting down welfare in general... just the way it was put forth in that particular post. Although I think the welfare system is way out of control! I should have done a little more thinking before making the comment in the first place.
Comment: #21
Posted by: martha
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:55 AM
@martha, you also may not realize that Lise is a Canadian, not a US, citizen, and there are a lot of inaccurate attacks being made against her because of an internet stalker misunderstanding the differences between the two systems. Not that it's anyone's business, but she's using her system appropriately. And not that an internet stalker is a rational being, as yesterday's malarkey indicates. But... let's not blame the victim here, as annoying as all the hubbub yesterday is. It's the person making the personal attacks who is the problem, not the person being attacked.

And, in any event, this forum isn't supposed to be about people picking apart the personal lives and decisions of each other; we're supposed to be doing that to the letter writers!

LW1: Its hard not to see the first letter as a metaphor for some of the trouble we've seen BTL. Clearly the neighbor IS irrational and seeking attention, which is a troublesome combination. I would personally try the direct approach first: ask if you can speak to the neighbor directly, take them out to coffee, and point out that there doesn't need to be an issue between them, and ask him if there's any other problem. Perhaps there's some misunderstanding in the past? Given the situation, this is unlikely to work, but is always worth a shot, in my mind. Then, continue to pursue the neighbor nuisance option, and maybe seek legal help. How about other neighbors? Can you see if any of them have had trouble with this guy as well? Sometimes there is strength in numbers.

LW2: That is unfortunate, as smoking around a child can indeed be harmful to their health; it's also a bad habit to pick up, and kids do imitate the adults around them. Be a positive role model, and instead of nagging your friend, be sympathetic. Let her know that tobacco addiction is very hard to kick, and if she ever needs help to do so, you want to be there for her.

LW3: That's a possible explanation, and an interesting perspective -- but one would hope that the caregivers would mention that to family or friends visiting, especially if they've complained specifically about the television being on during a prior visit!
Comment: #22
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:15 AM
Oh my gosh I have a neighbor JUST LIKE THAT. He's retired and literally has nothing else better to do with his time except make the other neighbors in the area hell with his issues. He actually has cameras, both in the front and the back, to make sure no one is on his lawn. He's one of those men who keep the ball if the ball ends up in his yard, and I have a feeling he mounts them on his wall like hunters mount heads. Thank goodness I don't live next door to him. Because we have small children, we moved to a neighborhood, but when they are off to college, we are buying a much larger lot or on land, just to avoid people like that. I wish the letter writer well, because it is NOT easy living near someone like that. There is no amount of cookies or friendliness that will change these people. Don't even try. Save the sweetness and the friendliness for the officers that pay your house a visit, get him coffee, and spend the evening laughing your heads off about him. I hope the neighbors next to him move out, and large, scary and hairy bikers move in.
Comment: #23
Posted by: happymom
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:20 AM
re; Michelle

What? We have no reason to think that lw2s friend is passing out stoned.

Lw2 - if you cannot accept your friend as she is, just stop being her friend. She is unlikely to change her habits and it is senseless being friends with someone you always want to criticize.
Comment: #24
Posted by: Zoe
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:10 AM
How sad that all this jibberish with Trolls/imposters has esculated.

I for one, appreciate Miss Pasko's PSA and she's a good person.

I will no longer be posting nor reading the Annies' as I have bigger and better things to do. I'm in the process of relocating and the downsizing hasn't been a picnic. Once I get to my destination, access to a computer would only be once a week and only for one hour.

I do hope that someday the Trolls/imposters will disappear, but i don't see that happening too soon.

@ Zoe - How's the house coming along? I already have an appt. with the realtor the day after I get to Pa. Did you ever find out who broke into your house?

2 weeks, 4 days to go. The way the weather has been back that way, I hope I won't need my winter jacket. LOL
Comment: #25
Posted by: Gwen
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:18 AM
The first thing I thought of when I read the first letter is that the trucks are parked on private property. Short of murder or sex with minors, a person should be able to do whatever the heck they want on their private property. (Ok, someone might think of a couple of other examples, but you all get my point.) If I found out there were a law in my city that said I could not park my car on my private property in such and such a manner, I'd hire a lawyer to find out if that law were in violation of my state's constitution. If the tire is my tire and the dirt is my dirt, then my tire can be on my dirt. Anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to look at it.
Comment: #26
Posted by: carolyn
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:19 AM
LW1: Your neighbor is a jerk. But, you could extend the driveway just enough to park the tires on rock, for very little money. And later extend it a little further. A few bags of rock would probably be enough to be barely compliant with the law. Sounds worth it to me. That should stop your neighbor's harassment.
LW2: Your friend must realize that smoking around others is not good. She's probably mad at herself for what she's doing, but is too addicted to the nicotine. So, saying anything to her won't do any good. It just makes her more upset inside. People addicted to anything must want to become non-addicted enough for it to happen.
As to the Annie's suggestion that you report her … that's brilliant … let's have her thrown in prison, while winos and other alcoholic parents get stoned legally in front of their kids.
Your concern is kind, but not much you can do.
Comment: #27
Posted by: Dave Galino
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:24 AM
Re: Steve C

In regards to your advice re: LW1, I completely agree about not retaliating by reporting miniscule violations that the neighbor may have committed. I remember watching a program where they featured a similar set of circumstances between neighbors in a rural area of Northern California, where they DID end up reporting each other, and it escalated to the point that one neighbor murdered the other couple.

For Pete's sake, just introduce yourself to the neighbor and do your best to have a civil discussion. If it can't be done, then work on a budget to save for the expanded driveway.

And for all those tracking my weight loss progress: two pounds this week, FORTY POUNDS total! :)
Comment: #28
Posted by: Janie
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:54 AM
Re: kai archie
Such a targetted obsession denotes mental illness. I wpuld not recommend an in-person confrontation with someone mentally ill.

Comment: #29
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:58 AM
Re: martha
Post #14 is an impersonation - again. And BTW, now we know for sure that the Miss Pasko impersonator and Bloom Hilda are one and the same, "whoever" else she may be, don't we?

I never said anything about who I think Bloom Hilda/Pasko impersonator/etc is, BTW, so any speculations to that effect are... strange.

Comment: #30
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:23 AM
LW1 - You say it's difficult to park properly, but not impossible. If you can't afford to add another 6-12" of driveway, then you'll just have to be extremely careful when you park. There isn't much you can do about your neighbour, so you'll just have to ensure that he has nothing to complain about.

Re: Gwen

Oh it's good! Still a few things left to do that we can't seem to get around to doing... like the closet doors! I am focusing on the outside now, mostly the chickens, and have been starting some seeds indoors for the garden. I just wish it would stop being so cold!!

Never did find who took the wood, unfortunately.

That's exciting that you are shopping around soon! What kind of house are you looking for?
Comment: #31
Posted by: Zoe
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:26 AM
GO JANIE! congrats!

Gwen: I for one will miss you. If you do decide to stop by, give us a shout out. Be good to yourself. You can find me under this same name (I post under the same name everywhere, no need to hide)at yahoo abby as well.

Comment: #32
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:30 AM
@Gwen: I'll miss you as well!!

@nanchan: Is there a website that allows you to post comments for Dear Abby??? I read her everyday, but the site I'm on doesn't allow comments.

@janie: Congrats! That is just fabulous!!!!!
Comment: #33
Posted by: Casey
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:39 AM
Re LW#1------------There is no way to know the motives of the person who keeps calling the police, but I would bet it has to do with the fact that they obviously live in a residential neighborhood with strict laws about how one's property can be kept------------ (I envy them, MY neighbors have a growing pile of junk by their front door, including a broken washing machine, and nothing I can do about it)---------------------
And he is angry about the fact that the LW is allowed to park "two large trailers" obviously related to his business, not his personal yard work, in his personal driveway. He would be happy if the driveway contained just the normal, personal-use vehicles that he obviously feels should be there.
Since he can't make the LW get rid of the trailers, he just uses what he can. Maybe he thinks that by complaining, the LW will figure out some business-related location to put the trailers, thus leaving plenty of room in the driveway for his personal vehicles.
Neighbor might be a trouble-making nut, but I'm guessing he is a trouble-making nut who is upset that what he feels should be 'residential only' has expanded to allow his neighbor to, in effect, locate his business in his driveway.
(How big ARE these trailers, anyway?) Wish we could see photos, possibly I might have a bit of sympathy for him.
(Then again, he might just be a kook.)
Re LW#2------Come on, your REAL concern is you don't approve of smoking (cigarettes OR pot) and you are using whatever ammunition you have to try to make your friend conform to your beliefs. "Tainted friendship?" Good Lord!!!!! Yes, you need to leave the friendship. Better for both of you. And believe it or not, her daughter will survive just fine.
Re LW#3------Well, I guess this could be the reason the TV is on. Or--------could be some extortionist has rigged the TV so it will explode if turned off, and is holding the homeowners captive for ransom in this manner. Or--------the voices in the TV speak to them and they don't want to miss anything. Or---------their long-lost daughter ran away to Hollywood to be an actress and they are desperately watching to see if she shows up in a sitcom so they can go find her and bring her back home.
My personal bet-----------they like to watch TV more than they like to visit with whoever showed up.
Comment: #34
Posted by: jennylee
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:02 AM
Janie, YOU GO GIRL! Congratulations and thanks for keeping us updated.

Gwen, I will miss you as I'm sure many others will. Take care. If/When you can, please poke your head in here and let us know how things are going. Be good to yourself.

Comment: #35
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:02 AM
LW1" I am actually *not* on the bandwagon for having a friendly chat with neighbourino over there, but would recommend, as you have been doing, filing nuisance reports in response (and I agree that you should NOT escalate this by finding other things to report).If you are part of a HOA, perhaps they can help as well (and I almost think you must be, for as carolyn says, it's ridiculous that you can't park a trailer wherever the hell you want on your own property anyway. That such an ordinance exists suggests a homeowners or neighbourhood association).

My mother and I both had similar issues with downstairs neighbours over noise, and trust me when I say that if they're at the point on reporting you almost daily, conversation will get NOWHERE and likely devolve into more ugliness. If it had been one or two complaints, I'd say go ahead and speak with them about your circumstances and try to foster understanding. If they're reporting you this often, they don't care about your reasons or anything else you have to say.

Thankfully, both my mother and I rent (to be clear: we live apart, but had very similar issues), and in both cases our respective landlords eventually took the matter in hand. In both cases, one of the first things the landlords did was ensure NO MORE CONTACT between us and the respective neighbours. ALL complaints were to come through the landlord ONLY. That is because in both cases, my mother and I were being virtually harassed by their constant complaints. In my case, my downstairs neighbour (who happened to take medication for mental illness) happened to be going through a period of great stress, and as the stress subsided (and as he saw that no one was agreeing with him), he dropped it. My mother's case continued to be ugly for awhile, until her downstairs neighbour moved out in the middle of the night, skipping out on the rent. I heard the landlord was so relieved to just be rid of her he didn't even pursue the money owed him.

All this to say that constant complaining neighbours generally aren't interested in friendly relations, and will not be understanding about circumstances. So since it sounds like the police are on your side on this, just continue to file nuisance reports. Possibly if neighbourino has to hear from the police that he's out of line, he'll finally drop it.

LW2: I am all for pot, especially since it's decriminalized up here and alcohol gives me stomach problems. BUT I would treat Lonnie the same way I'd treat a mother who drank excessively around her child. The smoking, while unfortunate, is almost trivial. Parents smoke around their kids. They shouldn't, but do. The pot is the bigger issue as that is impairing her judgement. She will not be as responsive to her daughter, or respond in the same was as she normally would, when stoned. Drop the smoking thing, but keep at her about getting stoned around her daughter. Others are saying you shouln't report her to anyone, but depending on how often you're seeing this, you may actually want to bring it to the attention of Social Services. If it's a regular thing, that's about on par with a mother being regularly drunk around her child. It's not healthy for either of them.

LW3: I agree that this letter is ridiculous. Presumably the visitor will know if someone in the house has dementia and will get agitated if the TV is off. If the visitor does not know this, then tell them. I cannot imagine someone getting upset over that.
Comment: #36
Posted by: Jers
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:04 AM
casey: Yahoo News allows comments at Dear Abby. It's a great site and it's monitored.... some snarkiness but nothing like here. Several posters here post there, but under different names. There are a lot more commenters there (100 comments is a slow day there) and it's better organized so you don't have to scroll as much.

Everyone: so sorry about the duplicate post! Creators didn't post my first one right away, but I wanted to make sure to call out to Janie (YAY! ) and Gwen (sniff! I'm gonna miss ya).
Comment: #37
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:07 AM
Casey, you can find Dear Abby at she is listed under "Entertainment". This site will allow you to post comments.
Comment: #38
Posted by: Bailey
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:09 AM
Re: Chris
I sure hope you're not trying to insinuate anything here... And yes, I am on Welfare, which I had to resort to at one point.

I was injured in an accident on my way to work in August 2001 and lost my job because of it. It took me three years to recover and, by that time, I had passed the 50 years-old mark, a big drawback to employers who don't want to hire someone the age of early retirement. Not to mention that I hadn't been employed for three years - another big problem with employers. SAAQ * provided for insurance benefits while I was recovering and still in physiotherapy, I tried opening a store after that when I saw I couldn't find another job. But I had to open it on no money, so I couldn't survive more than 1 1/2 year in this economy. That's when I had to go to Welfare.

I am still self-employed, operating two workshops from home. Which, by the way, is legal here as long as you declare your income to Welfare, who then calculate your direct expenses and your net income - you're allowed 200$ net per month, after that any extra is deducted from what they give you. For that matter, anyone on Welfare here is allowed to earn 200$/month as long as it's declared, but if it's an employment income, then it's 200$ gross, because you don't have operating expenses.

To the oenny, I do declare my income to Welfare and to both federal and provincial revenue departments, and so accusations that I'm a welfare fraud are incorrect. I started working at 16, BTW, and so contributed into the system for many years before I finally needed it myself. And yes, here too Welfare demands that you be looking for a job, but not at my age (I'm not sure what the cut-off age is) - I'm 60 years old, hardly a hot prospect for employers.

Sorry for the TMI... just to set the record straight so that normal posters will know.

* SAAQ - Societe d'assurances automobile du Quebec = Quebec Automobile Insurance Society.

Comment: #39
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:21 AM
@Gwen, add my voice to the chorus of those that will miss you. We need as many good, kind, non-troll posters as we can get here, and you will be missed!
Comment: #40
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:24 AM
Re: Casey
You can go to Arcamax or to Yahoo - Yahoo can have 200-300 comments per day, it's a bit overwhelming. Arcamax is much more intimate. Just Google Dear Abby Yahoo, or Dear Abby Arcamax and you'll find either right away.

Comment: #41
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:28 AM
LW1 -
Even if you manage to get the driveway up to par or succeed in parking JUST SO every single day, that neighbour will just find something else to focus on. Being friendly, trying to talk to him nicely will change nothing as he is not being rational, just on the warpath. Like happymom said, save the cookies and the friendly conversation for the cops, they are the ones you need to have on your side.

A police report about neighbourly nuisance is a good start, but not enough. File a complaint for harassment as often as you can, so that there is evidence to go by when you request that restraining order. No, the neighbour hasn't been on your property yet, but you should take steps to keep it that way. If you fix the driveway or he has nothing left to complain about, the risk that he resort to petty vandalism is high. As others who had similar experience pointed out, the harassment will not stop - not unless he finds someone else to target AND he doesn't have the wherewithall to persecute two people at once.

My heart really goes out to you... Barring efficient outside intervention, it's very difficult to shake loose a troll once it's decided you're "it".

LW2 -
Any more comments of smoking, tobacco or pot, will fall on stone ears as the mother is not interested. She evidently feels her body AND her kid are both her personal property and she can do what she wants. And if she gets annoyed enough, she might just drop you from her circle of friends, and then where will you be?

As the Annies have pointed out, your only options are to denounce her to the cops for possession or call CPS. Which I don't recommend as it will do more harm than good - I really don't think a parent in jail and a kid in foster care possibly being molested or abused is a viable solution here. Not to mention that it would remove whatever access you have to this child, as you're not related. And Lonnie will never speak to you again after THAT, that's for sure!

If you really care for the girl, I would suggest you rather focus on loving this poor kid and spending as much time with her as the mother will allow - in the presence of the mother or not.

Comment: #42
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:52 AM
Awesome! See you over there, nanchan and Bailey!
Comment: #43
Posted by: Casey
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:11 AM
Re: MT
Yes, report the mother to CPS. It probably would be way better for the child to be taken from her mother and placed in a series of foster homes, perhaps even a group home where she can be exposed to way more than she is at home. I mean, what the mother is subjecting her child to healthwise is by far worse than the mental health issues the child will face after having her family torn apart and dealing with the loneliness and instability, not to mention all the other challenges a foster child often faces. This is POT we are talking about - my God! (all written with the maximum amount of sarcasm.)
Comment: #44
Posted by: kristen
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:47 AM
Re: Bloom Hilda:

Poor pathetic Bloom Hilda. It must be lonely to be you. You keep telling Lise to get a job, but you've obviously got plenty of time to post here yourself. Why don't you get a job? Or does the fact that Lise gets welfare hit too closely to home for you? Poor thing. Have your food stamps run out?
Comment: #45
Posted by: Annies Fan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:51 AM
Neighborhood Associations, Homeowners' Associations, City Ordinances:

I don't know if this is true everywhere or just in my neck of the woods, but there's a BIG difference between a neighborhood association and a homeowners' association. Homeowners' Associations have the power to tell you what color your house can be, take care of maintenance of common areas, signage, etc. -- they're usually for gated communities that don't always get all of the city services because of the gates, though there are homeowners' associations for non-gated communities, too, but pretty much always it's for a "community" that has some sort of formal entrance and/or exit, with a name and sign. Neighborhood associations can't tell anyone what type of mailbox you have or anything like that -- they are for neighborhoods that have no formal entrance or exit, and there are no "common areas" to maintain because the neighborhood has no formal boundary. I'm on the board of my neighborhood association. We have picnics and holiday parties, we make people aware of crime issues in the neighborhood, we work together to lobby the city when we have an issue in our area, etc. -- but we can't tell someone how to park his car.

HOWEVER, it seems pretty clear to me that LW1's issue has to do with a CITY ORDINANCE. Unless you live in an "unincorporated" area (generally rural), there are all sorts of ordinances that are CITY LAW. It's not an issue of an overbearing homeowner's association. How can you tell? Because the police are not only being called but are actually responding to the call. If the parking rule had to do with the homeowners' association, it would be the homeowners' association that would be dealing with this -- the police do not enforce homeowners' association rules. The police enforce city ordinances.

So, here's the problem with a lot of the advice that's being given: sure, the neighbor sounds like a complete @$$hole, but the fact of the matter is, the LW is violating a city ordinance and is therefore in the wrong, and, unfortunately, @$$hole is in the right, even if he is an @$$hole. Frankly, the LW is lucky he's not being slapped with all kinds of fines for continually violating the same code over and over again. I get that money's tight, but the only way to resolve this situation is to FIX IT ALREADY! Whether that means putting down some gravel, paving the rest of the driveway or finding alternative parking for one of the vehicles -- FIGURE IT OUT! Your neighbor doesn't want coffee, cookies and nice conversation -- he wants you to OBEY THE LAW. I'm sorry that you think the law is petty (and perhaps it is), and I'm sorry that money is tight, and I'm sorry that your neighbor is a jerk -- but that is all beside the point. You are wrong, he is right; fix it.
Comment: #46
Posted by: Lisa
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:56 AM
@Janie -- woohoo! It's a breath of fresh air to read something positive here!
Comment: #47
Posted by: Lisa
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:01 AM
Re: Annies Fan

Re: Bloom Hilda:

Poor pathetic Bloom Hilda. It must be lonely to be you. You keep telling Lise to get a job, but you've obviously got plenty of time to post here yourself. Why don't you get a job? Or does the fact that Lise gets welfare hit too closely to home for you? Poor thing. Have your food stamps run out?

No sweetheart, I worked for a living and I am comfortably retired, it does bother me that $0.30 of every dollar I worked for went to pay for people who relax on the Internet all day, off of my dime. It should bother you too. I got up, got dressed, went to the office, rain or shine, for 40 years, I didn't get up, eat, eat, eat, and sit on the computer advising other people on how to live their lives.
I worked for a living, unlike some others.

Comment: #48
Posted by: Bloom Hilda
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:05 AM
For LW1- Many people are recommending that you go over and talk to the neighbor. I would advise against this. If this creeper is crazy enough to keep reporting you, watching your house and the police know him as the neighborhood troublemaker, he may not be the the most stable guy in the world. I'd worry that he would have you arrested for trespassing if you try to knock on his door, or worse shoot you for stepping into his yard. People like this are usually nut cases and often dangerous. Please be careful.
Comment: #49
Posted by: beth
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:12 AM
Re: beth
Couldn't agree with you more!
Comment: #50
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:29 AM
Re: Bloom Hilda:
For somebody who hates Lise so much, you seem to know more about her than anyone else here. Your obsession with her borders on psychotic and stalkerish. Please, get help.
Comment: #51
Posted by: Annies Fan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:36 AM
Bloom Hilda:

I'm about to sound mean, but it's reality. You have three options.

1) Stop b*tching and learn to get along.

2) Stop posting on this site.

3) Keep b*tching about Lise, while everyone either gets actively annoyed at you or tunes you out.

The fact is, I get the impression Lise does not intend to go anywhere anytime soon. She's here to stay, so you have to learn to deal with it, or leave.

I could more or less say the same thing to the Pasko troll(s).

Comment: #52
Posted by: Jers
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:43 AM
Re: Bloom Hilda:

Unless you live in Canada, you've never contributed a dime to Lise, so quityerbitchin'.
Comment: #53
Posted by: Annies Fan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:57 AM
LW1- First off, take a deep breath. You're dealing with a nosy, snooping neighbor, not a stalker. You've lived in that home for years, which is one of the reasons the police haven't actually done anything. Secondly, in this economy, the police are unlikely to take any action against the way your husband makes his living.

I had a problem like this with my neighbors. They refused to fix the broken fence that bordered our property, and when my folks did it themselves, the neighbor complained about the style. Then they insisted that we shouldn't play in our yard after 6pm, because they wanted to eat their dinner out in THEIR year without hearing OUR noise. On and on, they complained and we ignored them.
Comment: #54
Posted by: Doodang
Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:59 AM
@Lise B.: While I appreciate the feedback about Yahoo, based on my experience with the BTL here, I don't think I'm looking for “intimate” anymore. Too many a**holes out there. You've shared personal stories about yourself and people turn around and use them against you. I would rather be on a site where commenters aren't watching my every post.
Comment: #55
Posted by: Casey
Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:35 AM
@Bloom Hilda: Serious question for you. How do you know Lise B. abuses the welfare system? I'm truly curious. More importantly, and I know you won't answer this, why do you care so much? You have yet to answer that question. You say you don't like your money to used to support her, but you have yet to confirm you're Canadian. It just bums me out, because when your posts aren't Lise-ccentric, they're funny and insightful. I wish you would lay off, just so I could enjoy your posts.
Comment: #56
Posted by: Casey
Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:36 AM
If the police are visiting after something about the driveway is reported, then it is either a municipal ordinance or a zoning ordinance if the problem is in the U.S.

That kind of ordinance can be designed to keep people from allowing junk cars in the yard, and it may have unintended consequences. The neighbor may just hate seeing the trailers and think that they bring the tone of the neighborhood down. If the driveway is near an intersection, maybe the trailers make it hard to see around the corner.

If I were the property owner, I would look at the driveway to see if putting a brick border down each side would give just enough ease in parking to stop the complaints. (Bed the bricks perpendicular to the drive so they add about six inches on each side.) This could be a DIY project that could look fairly attractive without costing a huge amount.

Ask the police officers who passed the ordinance and what it was supposed to control.

It might be good to ask the town or county board, city or borough or village council, selectmen, aldermen or whatever to change the rules. Just be careful about how you word the request and get your other neighbors on board beforehand. I know of one township where the board of commissioners tried to regulate who could and couldn't park motor homes where and for how long, and the battle took two years and was very nasty.

I wouldn't bother with coffee or cookies for the neighbor. A troll is a troll, whether online or in the neighborhood. Until Oscar the Grouch moves or dies, he's going to be griping.
Comment: #57
Posted by: Reader
Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:52 AM
Re: Casey
Don't be so sure about that. The trolls are on Yahoo also, and there is a lot of sh!t being posted as well. But it's much, much better policed and personal attacks like this are not tolerated. It's not the intimacy of it that is the problem, it's the set-up. Not only more than one person are allowed to use the same username, thus opening the door to impersonation, but the place is not monitored. It's only when there's a swarm of complaints that they do anything at all, and sometimes not even then.

Comment: #58
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:53 AM
Well, *I* am Canadian, so I do pay so that lazy Lise can sit around all day feeling smug and pump out inane advice towards others.

If I was feeling lost, I certainly wouldn't turn to a welfare recipient for advice.
Comment: #59
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:01 AM
@Filthy McNasty: Congratulations! You are the straw that broke this camel's back. I'm done with Creators. I know I'm not a daily poster, so I won't be missed. But I will truly miss nanchan, Zoe, Chris, Mike H., Maria, Lise B., Lisa, Samantha Kimmel, Rick, Rick's dog, Bitey Fish, kai archie, Steve C., Dave Galino, Miss Pasko and countless others. Truly, thank you all for hours of mindless entertainment for the last couple years. Whether it was during boring law school classes, my bar class, or actual work, you've all been entertaining. Congrats, Bloom Hilda (and other sock puppets) you have broken my little online community. You truly are an a$$hole and Lise B. will still be on welfare. You have changed absolutely nothing and your daily, mean tirades will not change anything. Oh, that's not true. You've ruined my afternoon. Congrats again!
Comment: #60
Posted by: Casey
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:29 AM
Re: Filthy McNasty. (Post #59) I, too, am Canadian, and on CPP. So, even though I paid CPP for the many years I was employed, I guess you would feel that you are paying my CPP every month. There is a reason why people pay both CPP and disability on their paycheques every payday. When it is needed, it is there. Stop judging and I pray you will never be in the need for assistance.
Comment: #61
Posted by: Jenna
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:31 AM
Re: Jenna
For that matter, until I got hit by that car in 2001, I had been working since I was 16. I paid PLENTY into that system and now that I need it myself, I should sleep on a park bench and starve? I'm not gonna pray that such a predicament never hits hateful trolls, perhaps it would teach them manners.

Comment: #62
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:43 AM
Re: Filthy McNasty

You have just been reported to Creators. Again.

Didn't do any good to change your name, Bloom Hilda.
Comment: #63
Posted by: JMG
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:44 AM
RE: Jenna

I think there is a significant difference between the pension plans and disability assistance and welfare. The first two are worthwhile initiatives and I support them wholeheartedly. I also appreciate that my country has a welfare safety program in place, but there are far, far too many people who abuse it and the government does nothing to stop it.

There is absolutely no reason why a perfectly healthy man or woman should be on welfare for any long period of time.
Comment: #64
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:44 AM
JMG: I am not Bloom Hilda.

But, um, ok.
Comment: #65
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:55 AM
Re: Casey #60
Please don't. That's exactly what they're trying to do, to run off all the good ones so that only the trolls remain.

Comment: #66
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:56 AM
Re: Filthy McNasty. Whew, I thought I was going to be thrown under the bus for my comment… oh, wait, it was a car for you, wasn't it Lise? My point being Lise's life change immediately (and irrevocably) when hit by a car; mine did just by waking up with partial paralysis. Who knows what is going to happen to anyone, any day, any time? I am not going to presume Lise needs to be defended (she is doing a fantastic job on her own!), but can you not see that life makes choices for you that you cannot foresee or plan for? Please try to be kind, and try to imagine walking in another person's shoes (metaphorically, of course).
Comment: #67
Posted by: Jenna
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:22 PM
Re: Casey

Please reconsider leaving. There are a lot more good posters here than bad ones.

Besides, the nasty ones are starting to have their posts removed. You can do that, you know, by reporting them.
Comment: #68
Posted by: JMG
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:26 PM
Re: Jenna

I don't necessarily agree with your view, but I certainly respect it. Thanks for elaborating and have a great weekend. :)
Comment: #69
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:34 PM
@Casey -- not sure if you've already left, but if you haven't, I hope you'll consider sticking around -- even if I'm not totally sure that I should take being part of your "mindless entertainment" as a compliment or not! :)
Comment: #70
Posted by: Lisa
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:37 PM
Re: Jenna

But I should add that it is easier to be kind to people who are also kind. You are always respectful and kind to others; some on here are not and that might be why they've attracted a pack of enemies.
Comment: #71
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:39 PM
I disagree with the people who say trying to talk to the neighbor won't work. I mean, chances are it won't, but you never know. In my hometown there is a woman who is probably certifiable. She calls the police whenever someone parks a car on her street for more than a few hours (which is totally leagal BTW), goes out in the middle of the night to carry leaves from her yard across the street to the neighbors (she's sure that even though they only have pine trees and she has deciduous trees the leaves come from the people across the street) and she is also constantly calling the police for other imagined lawbreakers. She's actually harassed at least two families to the point where they sold their houses and moved out. However, my family has always tried to be polite to her. Once, after she had reported my boyfriend's car for being parked too long I ran into her on a walk I apologized for concerning her (even though I really didn't care), let her know that we had gone off together in my car and if she ever saw his car there again it would be moved as quickly as possible. I also made sure to compliment her dog. After that she stopped reporting him and made a point to say hi to me when she was out.
The bottom line is there are a lot of crazy people out there with too much time on their hands. This neighbor may continue to harass you but as someone pointed out it's much harder to do that when you have a sympathetic face to put with the complaint. You never know until you try. I didn't think it would work with this neighbor and yet it did. My boyfriend and I have been married 11 years now and she still waves when she see us. Who knows maybe it will work.
Comment: #72
Posted by: Christine
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:46 PM
Re: Jenna #67
Of course I have a mouth, and a big one at that, but it always helps to have someone take on the trolls and nasty commenters who judge without compassion or understanding.

There are others here who have been attacked and I, along with Mike H for sure, will always rise to the defense of such, simply because people left alone to defend themselves only sound defensive, even when they're right.

Bullying unadressed continues unabated, and not addressing the trolling doesn't make it stop. Unfortunately.

Comment: #73
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:50 PM
Re: Lise Brouillette

For that matter, until I got hit by that car in 2001, I had been working since I was 16. I paid PLENTY into that system and now that I need it myself, I should sleep on a park bench and starve?

No, you should get a job, if you can hawk junk jewelry, and type on a computer 24/7 you can get a job, Kapish? You can work doing telephone customer service, data entry, retail, bag groceries, all kinds of jobs, an 11 year old injury and that many years of being on the dole is zero excuse. My friend is a quad, he works full time in customer service on the phone, going 14 years, he has some self respect. You have no excuse except laziness, shame on you, and your defenders who go to work everyday, should quit making excuses for you.

I'm not gonna pray that such a predicament never hits hateful trolls, perhaps it would teach them manners.

don't worry, us hateful trolls would not be in your predicament, we work and have worked for a living, you have no excuse

And to the moderators who want to remove posts, posts that constitute an opinion are not abusive or against TOS

Comment: #74
Posted by: Bloom Hilda
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:58 PM
I am only posting this to inform the trolls, i.e. Bloom Hilda/Filthy McNasty (riiiight, if you are not the same person, you sure do a great impersonation) and others that, rather than continuing the nastiness, I am just reporting every single post you write. EVERY SINGLE ONE, until they remove you completely from BTL. Using your constant irritation at Miss Pasko as a guide, I will be relentless and unforgiving. There's the tat for you tits.
Comment: #75
Posted by: Julie
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:59 PM
@ Christine #72

I couldn't agree with you more. I've had a couple of similar experiences -- in one instance I found that the neighbor involved was just lonely and was pleased someone took the time to be courteous to her. It may not work, but it's sure worth a try.
Comment: #76
Posted by: Kitty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:59 PM
I'll do the same to you, Julie. Starting now. :)
Comment: #77
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:02 PM
Suggest to Lonnie on a regular basis that the three of you go to the zoo/park/beach/whatever. Two or three times a month, more if you have the time. Lonnie sounds lazy and disinsterested, and I think after a while she'll just let you and her daughter go. I'm sure that little girl would love some one-on-one attention from her "Aunt Bernie". You can also tell the daughter that if things get bad at her house, she's welcome to call you and you'll just "happen" to come over and take her to the movies or for an overnight.

Hope I caught the cranky pants people between rounds.

Comment: #78
Posted by: angoradeb
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:15 PM
@Bloom Hilda, you are wrong -- posts that constitute a personal attack unrelated to the letters IS a violation of the terms of service. That's why we keep reporting your posts and why they keep getting deleted. Re-read the comments policy if you are unclear on the concept.

How about you stop obsessively making personal attacks at Lise and just get back to discussing the letters? You know, the real reason this forum exists and all?
Comment: #79
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:21 PM
@Casey, I really wish you wouldn't leave -- it means the trolls win. That's what they want, they get their kicks out of the turmoil.

I can understand taking some time off, though -- hopefully you feel like coming back after a day or two without trolls.
Comment: #80
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:24 PM
@Julie, I think that's a great idea and we should all continue to report these off-topic, personal attack posts. It's sad that one or two people who are getting their jollies out of picking on someone anonymously have derailed this forum from its purpose, discussion of the letters and the advice.

Regardless of whether someone has a "nice" tone or not, no one has deserved the kind of bullying attacks that have re-surfaced in recent days; and I'm grateful that the moderators have deleted almost all the posts that have been reported. We just have to keep it up, and then maybe this forum can get back on track.
Comment: #81
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:31 PM
Re: Filthy McNasty

There is absolutely no reason why a perfectly healthy man or woman should be on welfare for any long period of time.

Exactly, well said, here, here, the welfare queen asked if she should sleep on a park bench, uh, no, the idea was to get a job, she can sit on the Internet 24/7 and type all day long, she can hawk junk jewelry, why can't she work retail, customer service, phone calls, data entry, shampoo girl, housekeeper at a motel, grill person in a diner, bank teller, don't tell me she can stand up and sell jewelry all day, but she can't shampoo hair, or grill pancakes at a Denny's, nothing, in 11 years? No excuse, and her defenders should be asking the same questions since they get up every day and go to work, our friend said herself, Canada says you have to look for a job, uh, how hard are you looking when you are on the Internet all day giving advice? Her defenders have been scammed my friends, you have been played.
Comment: #82
Posted by: Bloom Hilda
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:35 PM
It truly amazes me that so many of you lack the basic understanding of how trolls work. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my sarcastic heart for ensuring they come back tomorrow when you can once again try to use your flawless logic to try to reason with people who are thrilled if you reply and address them in any way at all. You guys keep doing that and I'll go find a four-year-old and explain to him how repeating everything I say back to me isn't logical or nice and I'm sure he'll totally stop when I do.

PS Casey... don't go! :(
Comment: #83
Posted by: Zoe
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:37 PM
LW1: My sympathies for your unreasonable neighbor.

I don't know what to say, quite frankly. Sounds like he's the type that would, if he were a police officer, would issue a ticket for a motorist driving 55.000000000000000000000001 mph in a 55 mph zone.

Yes, I was being sarcastic with the decimal point and long string of zeros – you get the point, though. He's the type that would scream bloody murder for the teeny tiniest of offenses, such as a leaf being put out of place. Unless his property is actually being affected, and I doubt it is, he has no claim.

That said, yes, you can (and I would say should) have a cease and desist order filed against him to stop all his unfounded complaints. However, do not be surprised that this fellow would go to the city council, intent on embarrassing you, and demand that the ordinance be strictly enforced to its very letter ... or else he's filing a multi-billion dollar lawsuit against you and the city. This guy is nuts crazy, IMO. Hope he moves out soon.

Yes, follow the ordinances. Don't sweat it if you're off by a millimeter or less. Don't worry about it if he takes out his trusty grade-school ruler and measures to be sure you're following the ordinance exactly – he'll get his someday.
Comment: #84
Posted by: Bobaloo
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:43 PM
LW1 - another thought for resolving this - quit breaking the law. Park legally. That would stop the neighbor from complaining about this. Quit blaming other people when you are in the wrong to start with. Laws about what you can park on your property & where on the property it can be are very common. I live in a fairly casual small town, and there are ordinances similar to this one about parking a vehicle in a driveway (vs. on the lawn) and also about parking commercial vehicles in a residential driveway. If you think this is a ridiculous law, contact your alderman or other representative in city government and get the law changed.
Comment: #85
Posted by: kai archie
Fri Apr 27, 2012 1:47 PM
Casey, please don't leave. I also only post occasionally, but read every day, and would much prefer to scroll past and ignore trolls than lose the posters I really enjoy reading.

Bloom Hilda -- When they are on point, you have written some very good posts. I don't even have a problem with you stating you opinion of another poster (including insults) ONCE. It's the constant repetition that I don't understand. We know your opinion, and you have every right to hold it, but why keep saying the same thing?

I get that trolls are as illogalical as two year olds, but at times, when addressing the letters, she makes sense. I wonder if she knows Lisa personally, and really is out to get her. Can't do it in person, so she tries to mess up her (Lise's) enjoyment of this site. There seems to be a motivation to her Lise bashing that is a little different than most trolls' comments.
Comment: #86
Posted by: Girl Scout Leader
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:03 PM
@Casey: Most of us have had times when we got so frustrated that we said we'd never do that again, even if it's something we really enjoy. I certainly have. More often than not, I change my mind, and come back to enjoy a place that I like and am appreciated ... and try my best to ignore or even laugh off the few who try to ruin it for others. I assume that they are unhappy people and they live to make others unhappy too. It's sad, but we can't help them ... only they can help themselves.
Anyway, I hope you will return. You're appreciated and smart ... and we can use all the intelligent opinions we can get.
Comment: #87
Posted by: Dave Galino
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:09 PM
Re: Zoe, comment #83
Amen to the idea of not feeding trolls; however, I think your advice will fall on deaf ears. I won't bother naming names anymore, but there's too many people out there that think they're fighting the good fight when arguing with idiots. Getting into an argument with anonymous people on the internet is a lot like playing trivial pursuit with the cast of Jersey Shore. Even if you win, you're still an idiot.
Comment: #88
Posted by: Mike
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:30 PM
@Girlscoutleader : It could be Lise B. Is getting back some of what she has been know to dish out herself. I know she has her little fan club here that she's convinced butter wouldn't melt in her much. But trust me, when you're on the receiving end of her vitriol, you see a different side of her.
For newbies, she trashed me for expressing the opinion that healthy married women who refuse to have sex with their husbands should just lump it if he has an affair. They asked for it. I have no time or sympathy for them. And yes, I am in an open marriage and in a 2-year relationship with a married man in exactly that situation. Apparently Lise B (a fellow Quebecker) disapproves and lashed out at me viciously on a number of occasions. She can judge me, but gawd's forbid I judge her for sitting on her lazy ass being a drama queen and collecting welfare while I earn a six-figure salary earning an honest living and pay over 40% income tax so she can pretend to "work" at making and hawking her junk jewelry.
Some of you may also have missed the "yurunda" (her favourite made-up word) about losing her precious large apartment. We should all live in 6-1/2 room (i.e. 3-bedroom) flats while collecting welfare! If this isn't abuse, I don't know what is.
Comment: #89
Posted by: Claire Beatty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:34 PM
This is not fun anymore. Hope (most) of you have nice lives, but I won't be around to hear about them.
Comment: #90
Posted by: C Meier
Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:34 PM
To Casey and anyone else considering leaving--you're always welcome to come to Delphi and check us out. We discuss the letters and a lot of other things, but any trolls are kicked to the curb. Google "Advice columns fanatics, Delphi" and we should be at the top of the list.

Some things have been said about us that are half-truths or lies, so give us a chance before you decide not to come. And, despite the fact that I wish I had that power, nobody can melt your computer if you visit us.
Comment: #91
Posted by: Joannakathryn
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:07 PM
You can also check out 'About the Letters' on Facebook, though we're not anywhere as established as the Delphi group. I don't think I have any folks from this forum over there yet. But trolls will be booted.
Comment: #92
Posted by: Datura
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:18 PM
Re: Claire Beatty (comment #89)

You are 100% accurate. I had a similar experience with her when I made my first post here last year under another name. I disagreed with her so she lashed out at me for absolutely no reason at all. Then, when I defended myself, her lackey Mike H. ran to her defense and I was painted as a troublemaker. Plus, she has the nerve to claim that people here are bullying her, but have you read some of the horrible things she says about the LWs? Wow.

It's not a coincidence that all of the so-called trolls on here – and it's NOT one person with multiple names – focus their energy on Lise B. and no one else.
Comment: #93
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:22 PM
BTW, for what it's worth, Lise B. wrote the following comment to someone named Paul on here on Dec. 4 2010, when he defended himself after she called him a jerk:

"Re: Paul
Ah-Ha, but from the moment you express yourself in a post, you open yourself to responses of people also expressing thmselves... comes with the territory. if you don't want people to have an opinion on your opinion, then don't post one!"

What say you to this?
Comment: #94
Posted by: Filthy McNasty
Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:30 PM
Chris, you almost made me fall on the floor with your comment about who's on welfare. Wow!
Comment: #95
Posted by: stacy bryant
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:02 PM
This SH!T is PRICELESS.....
Thank you Bloom, Filthy, Lise, Mike H and all the rest of you for keeping this stuff up, I get loads of laughs everyday!!!!
Comment: #96
Posted by: Just Laughing
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:22 PM
LW1--"A neighbor we have never met keeps reporting us. He complains that when my husband gets home from work, he sometimes parks his truck with one tire resting in the dirt." Well, God forbid that a tire rests in the dirt... Your neighbor has chosen to target you because he or she feels that they are in the right and you are in the wrong. It's ridiculous! What you need to do is figure out exactly who this neighbor is and confront him or her directly. My guess is, once they are no longer anonymous they will shrink back like the coward they are or, at the very least articulate what exactly is their problem with the trailers. Trying to plead to this person's sense of reason or common sense will fall on deaf ears because as far as they're concerned, you're breaking some "rule." The Annies are correct in that this person has too much time on his or her hands and they will stop at nothing until you conform to their neighborhood ideals. While it's good that the police recognize the plaintiff as a troublemaker, the fact of the matter is that you are violating a neighborhood policy. Either suck it up and get into compliance to placate this busybody or move. Those are your choices.

LW2--"Anytime I mention the subject and tell her I don't support her smoking, she completely ignores me." Your friend ignores you because she believes your objection to her smoking in the presence of her children is none of your business. Frankly, I agree. You can't control the actions of others; you can control how you respond. What you need to do is stop associating with this person until her behavior falls in line with your personal beliefs. If that doesn't happen then you need to let it go! It's not your sworn mission in life to protect others from what you perceive as harmful influences. The fact of the matter is that YOU don't get to tell other people what to do. Period!
Comment: #97
Posted by: Chris
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:35 PM
Re: Bloom Hilda, McNasty, et al
You are so smug. You talk about being in a comfortable retirement, which means that the work world worked in your favor more often than not, you do not appear to have a major life-altering situation, or some other reason to look down on others. Apparently, none of that has brought you ANY happiness that you must tread so poorly upon others who are not as blessed.
EVEN IF you have struggled in life, I would think that it would have fostered some little bit of compassion, or at the very least, an uneasiness at such a directed level of hatred and unkindness. The blessing of having become victorious over adversity in life is the ability to want to encourage strength and self-reliance as much as capability allows on others. To do less cheapens any gift or accomplishment you may have.
When someone is down and not relying solely on assistance, they should be encouraged. Lise is trying to do more than just take from her government's system. She is even trying to use her strengths and gifts to accomplish that. In case you haven't noticed, there has been a global recession. Even people who are accomplished in their fields have found their jobs ripped from them through no fault of their own.
I have been VERY fortunate...I managed to change careers in the present economy and still be more than viable. This has caused a feeling of gratefulness and a desire to help others. As the saying goes..."but by the grace of God go I".
Instead of looking at the flaws in the lives of others, might I suggest you turn the mirror toward yourself? The only person you can change is yourself. None of us know the complete situation of ANY person here...we only have the smallest of thumbnails...and this means toward the letter writers too. Kindness does not cost a cent...but hatred exacts such an ugly debt.
Comment: #98
Posted by: A Tiny Voice of Reason
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:36 PM
Re: Claire Beatty


Comment: #99
Posted by: Jpp
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:46 PM
This has been a great day! Thanks to all the posters! I loved it.
Comment: #100
Posted by: Clare
Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:50 PM
A Tiny Voice of Reason ~~ Bitey Fish doesn't even have thumbnails, just little fins, but Bitey likes your message very much.
Comment: #101
Posted by: Piranha in Pajamas
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:01 PM
Re: Girl Scout Leader, I'm with you. These back and forths sound so personal - I get the feeling that some are from people 'she' knows. They seem to know a lot more about 'her' than the rest of us do. ( I must have missed that 'she' lost her apartment - never did hear the end of that story.) Maybe Mr. SingerMan or Mr. Trinadad (I think they are different people but could be the same). Then again like Mr. Nasty they could be fellow posters that were attacked and vowed never to come back. I do remember a young woman lawyer that was pretty vocal and finally quit posting after a fray between the two of them. And yes I also remember Ms. Beatty. Hey Claire! Although I didn't agree with her on some issues she was royally trashed for her opinion. I have to admit though that I thought 'she' was doing better in her posts, cleaned up the language and not soooo mean as before. Now it is apparent that some people are holding on to some of these grudges a bit too long and are lashing out trying to get a small pound of flesh.
Comment: #102
Posted by: Penny
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:07 PM
Re: Girl Scout Leader, I'm with you. These back and forths sound so personal - I get the feeling that some are from people 'she' knows. They seem to know a lot more about 'her' than the rest of us do. ( I must have missed that 'she' lost her apartment - never did hear the end of that story.) Maybe Mr. SingerMan or Mr. Trinadad (I think they are different people but could be the same). Then again like Mr. Nasty they could be fellow posters that were attacked and vowed never to come back. I do remember a young woman lawyer that was pretty vocal and finally quit posting after a fray between the two of them. And yes I also remember Ms. Beatty. Hey Claire! Although I didn't agree with her on some issues she was royally trashed for her opinion. I have to admit though that I thought 'she' was doing better in her posts, cleaned up the language and not soooo mean as before. Now it is apparent that some people are holding on to some of these grudges a bit too long and are lashing out trying to get a small pound of flesh.
Comment: #103
Posted by: Penny
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:07 PM
Re: Claire Beatty

We should all live in 6-1/2 room (i.e. 3-bedroom) flats while collecting welfare! If this isn't abuse, I don't know what is.

I'll bet a million bucks she will be on a show "The Hoarders", I'll bet that apartment has bugs, animals, fleas, boxes of junk everywhere, that just "can't be thrown out", every piece of junk in it is precious, until she ends up in court, getting thrown out, and a construction truck has to empty it, I'll bet the landlord would love to throw her out, how much you want to wager they have already tried to evict her? And she is on here competing with the Annie's to be the maven of advice. When newcomers read her posts they need to be warned that she is a unbalanced nut job, trying to impersonate Dr. Phil.

Moderators: Not abuse of violation of TOS, just opinions
Comment: #104
Posted by: Bloom Hilda
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:28 PM
@ Casay
I've decided that I'm leaving for good too. I just signed up for Delphi. (Thank you JohannaKathryn for the invite!) I'll give it the ol' college try. Many of our regulars are over there. If I don't like it, I'll fade away to other pursuits. I think this place has become unbearable!!! I hope the trolls are happy; they've succeeded in destroying a truly great forum because their pathetic little egos can't handle reality. Congrats trolls! You win! Enjoy each other!
Comment: #105
Posted by: Chris
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:30 PM
Re: A Tiny Voice of Reason

When someone is down and not relying solely on assistance, they should be encouraged. Lise is trying to do more than just take from her government's system. She is even trying to use her strengths and gifts to accomplish that

Really, well she admits she hasn't hasn't had a real job in 11 years, was able enough to run a store for 18 months, but now can't find a job becasue of that "accident". What part of this don't you get? There are jobs out there every day, guess what? They are not here on BTL, there are no applications here, stores to apply to, shops to walk into and ask for a job, she can type, operate a computer, stand for long periods, walk, sorry, my violen is not sounding. She feels her gifts are superior to other peoples, she has posted how smart, talented, artistic, musical, ad nauseum, she is, she feels like she's gifted, they don't need gifted at the ice cream shop to scoop ice cream, they don't need gifted to serve food as a cafeteria aid, those and hundreds of jobs like that are available, but you won't find them sitting in front of a keyboard, hammering out pearls of wisdom. Sorry, your hearts and violens don't apply here. No excuses. And why Mike keeps enabling this is beyond me, he seems like a bright guy.

Moderators, not abuse or violation of TOS, just opinions
Comment: #106
Posted by: Bloom Hilda
Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:44 PM
@Chris...see ya dude. If we need to lose you to get rid of lise its worth it! Bye
Comment: #107
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:13 PM
FMcN - your posts are explain exactly why some many ppl hate Lise. Just in case she still doesn't understand. Thanks for putting her in her place!!! @Mike- you make so many posts about so-called trolls (that have nothing to do w/the letters). What makes you any better (isn't that also against creators policy) or is it just ok for you. Grow a spine, be a man, and find something better to do w/your time.
Comment: #108
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:14 PM
@atinyvoiceof reason - Lise started this today by addressing Broom Hilda. This is what she does every day starts conflict and attacks posters (not to mention the poor letter writers who are looking for help). She does this all the time then acts all innocent (like what did i do - why are the trolls attacking me)....Just a hint ppl w/other opions do not like being called names like trolls. When in fact the regulars here are the real internet trolls.
Comment: #109
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:19 PM
Hey maybe we are not trolls, just the letter writers you all have been attacking all this time. You can dish it out but you can't tale it, huh. Losers
Comment: #110
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:30 PM
To Zelhobs...I was on earlier this morning, and Lise was not the one who launched the first salvo. And should you and Bloom believe I am among those who "worships" Lise as has been said, no...I'm not. Almost everyone on the forum has given advise that might not always be the kindest, and may not always respond to other posters as well as we should. That is being less than perfect and oh so human. I challenge any of us to be one hundred percent consistent at all times.
My problem is with this relentless stalking and badgering that has been going on the past few weeks. What sort of joy are some of you deriving from these attacks? And if this brings you joy or anything that resembles happiness, I am so sorry for you. Why do you feel the need to correct this (or any poster's) life. Neither side can affect change because in truth, there is no corporeal side to confront. Cowardice to attack and fool-hardy to tilt at windmills so.
Not so hearts and violins as you thought...more a choice to treat others with as much respect I am able. Deserving is not part of the equation.
Comment: #111
Posted by: A Tiny Voice of Reason
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:41 PM
Comment: #112
Posted by: Josiegirl
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:44 PM
Hi all. I am a faithful reader. Never post, but now I feel I have to. I am a techi....all the posts by Miss Pasko, Miss Fatso, Miss Original Pasko and Miss Pasko/UK, all come from the same IP address. She has many other persona's too, though I won't mention them as sometimes she is funny. (think bait..hint hint). Why, oh why Miss Pasko did you start this mess??? I always loved your PSA's and your comments about the letters. You were always brilliant. You have lost my respect. (yea, I know...not that you care). But realize this.....EVERYTHING can be traced and you ARE the trolls.
Comment: #113
Posted by: Josiegirl
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:55 PM
Re: zelhobs:

Lise isn't even on the board until #28, so how can you say she started it? Please, please, use spellcheck or get a dictionary. What is an opion? How do you "tale" something? We've got one Lolley and that's enough.
Comment: #114
Posted by: Annies Fan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:56 PM
Well, I never would have thought kai archie (although I don't read most of his posts) would have defended the asshole of a neighbor in LW1. I would have expected as much from Chris but not kai. The guy is parking in such a way that blocks his view of the pretty bikini-clad girls in the car passing by his house ... not commiting a felony. It's one thing if he's parked on the guy's property, but it's another for him to be a fraction of an inch out of compliance. And bah to "the law is the law" in minor things like this.

The guy exists just to antagonize. He's the one that can move, 'cause he came next.
Comment: #115
Posted by: Bobaloo
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:11 PM
Your responses are just yet another reason why the regulars are being attacked.
Comment: #116
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:36 PM
With regard to LW1, my guess is, as someone stated earlier, the complaining neighbor does not like the commercial vehicles parked in a residential area. In some communities, it is illegal to do so. I do think, though, if it is illegal where LW1 lives, the police would just tell them that is the problem and after that many complaints, would issue a citation. I am only guessing, but I have a feeling that LW1's property might be an eyesore in many ways, and the parking thing is the only thing the neighbor can complain about legally. It only takes one unkempt property in a nice neighborhood to drag everyone's property values down.

I admit to a lot of speculation here, but I would love to hear the story from the complaining neighbor's side.
Comment: #117
Posted by: Carly O
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:38 PM
@annies fan - so i guess its ok to pick on lolley who never hurt anyone. This is what us trolls are against. but i guess its too far above you to understand. ur so smart right!
Comment: #118
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:54 PM
OK...I am gone too...the lunatics are in charge of the asylum now.
Comment: #119
Posted by: Carly O
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:56 PM
anytime any place. you want to fight me im here. The next time any of you regulars post any adverse comments I will be her as your own personal troll. Bring it on!
Comment: #120
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 7:59 PM
My, Lise certainly wins today's unpopularity contest, doesn't she? And thank you for the link to the Dear Abby site that allows comments - I'm looking forward to posting there soon! I wonder if anyone over there is taking care of the PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTs?
Comment: #121
Posted by: Miss Pakso
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:04 PM
Your Community of harrasing the letter writers is gone. Find something else to do w/your lives. Or face me In person or online your choice. Im readuy
Comment: #122
Posted by: zelhobs
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:08 PM
Re: Carly O

And remember ... it also takes one bad "sleep all day, run all night" resident, with late night parties every night of the week 'til 4 a.m., to ruin the neighborhood.

I will agree, though, that if the truck-drivin' man's town has a "park and ride" or some other place to park semitrailer trucks for no (or a small) fee per night, please someone let this guy know. So you can shut that asshole neighbor up and he can see his little girlies in their pink and black bikinis pass by in that hot 1975 Buick LeSabre convertible.
Comment: #123
Posted by: Bobaloo
Fri Apr 27, 2012 8:43 PM
Re: zelhobs:

Name the place.
Comment: #124
Posted by: Annies Fan
Fri Apr 27, 2012 10:39 PM
Re: Josiegirl, 113-the miss pasko who first started posting the public service announcements is not the same miss pasko, miss pakso, miss fatso, etc. who spew trollisms in their posts. indeed, the 'real' miss pasko is more a victim than you are because people like you automatically assume that she is behind all of the posts. she isn't. one of the flaws of this website is that more than one person can use the same name. miss pasko has changes her name frequently to some variation and i know sometimes i can't even be sure who she is. but you can bet your keyboard that if it's rude or unkind, it isn't the real miss pasko.
if you found her announcements helpful, or at least harmless, you are doing her a great disservice.
Comment: #125
Posted by: alien07110
Sat Apr 28, 2012 4:04 AM
When you guys are done with the Internet transporter machine thingy, can I borrow it? I want to go to renaissance Italy next weekend.
Comment: #126
Posted by: Jpp
Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:28 AM
Re: alien07110

I wonder how Josie gets the IP addresses? Unless she's a Creator's admin or a hacker, there is really no other way. I call troll here.
Comment: #127
Posted by: nanchan
Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:02 AM
LW1: You and your neighbor have lived there for 25 years, and all of a sudden, he starts reporting you? I feel like there's something more to this story, like something else is irking him and he's getting back with all these 911 calls. If I were you, I'd go over there, as a couple, WITH the police ( you do NOT want to go there alone, he could get all George Zimmerman on you, people are crazy, and this guy is obviously off his rocker). Introduce yourself, and no matter what, try to be polite. Once you become friendly with someone, it becomes harder for them to be rude to you, so he might soften up. It was rude of him to not just tell you to move your trailer before going to the cops, but try to find out why he is doing this. If he is simply retired and has nothing better to do, then the police will stop taking him seriously. I mean, a call almost every night, the cops must be like "It's Smith AGAIN, calling about that stupid trailer." Copes have more important things to work on, like assaults and robberies and murders. They will soon tire of coming out for a trailer tire in the grass.

And I agree, for the time being, go to Home Depot, get some gravel and create the appearance of extending your driveway just enough to park the trailers on. When you go to your neighbors, be sure to tell him that he is being a peeping Tom, which is creepy, as he could also be watching you walk around your home. He clearly also has binoculars, because he can see if your tire is off by one inch. Tell him that invasion of privacy is against the law and far more serious a crime than your tire situation. He could go to jail, and you could tell him him that you will file charges. First, be nice. Then, fight fire with fire. Always get the cops on your side first.

LW2: I don't care how hard it is, you MUST report Lonnie to the cops. She is putting her child's life in danger, as she cannot effectively parent or watch out for her child's safety while she is high. This is not a judgment of smoking in and of itself, but that you should stop when you have a child, and prioritize the child. For all you know, she might get behind the wheel of a car while high and kill herself and her child, and others on the road. Report her now, the friendship is already strained, so you're not really losing a friend, but you are saving a child.
Comment: #128
Posted by: Salty
Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:07 AM
josiegirl @113:

If you are indeed a faithful reader, and can go back several months to a year in this forum, you will find that up until all the hoopla about the PSAs started, all posts by Miss Pasko were among the very, very few here that NEVER said an unkind word. To anyone. And you will note that the ones originating from this IP address are all very much at odds with that. Go ahead. Do a few random checks from a month ago, two months ago, a year ago, and you will see that I am correct.

This leaves us two possibilities: 1. That the person who originally posted as Miss Pasko, and started posting the PSAs, has suddenly flipped out and begun posting in a vastly different way. OR that someone has chosen to hijack her name and begin posting vitriolic rubbish.

Granted, the first is a possibility, however remote. Given the uproar in the last two weeks, with people making increasingly nasty remarks about Miss Pasko's PSAs, and her failure to respond in kind to their unkind suppositions about her life, the second scenario is FAR more likely to be correct. Especially in light of the fact this site does not prevent people from posting under the same name.
Comment: #129
Posted by: hedgehog
Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:52 AM
Is Josiegirl saying that the beloved (by some) bitey fish is the Miss Pasko Troll? That the way I read it. Either you should straight up tell people who you are talking about, or leave out the hints. It leads to what could be incorrect speculation. I understand that the Miss Pasko that started posted a couple of years ago is probably not the similarily named people all posting from the same IP address. However, a "sometimes funny" "think bait" person IS posting from that IP address. I'm not sure who else that would describe.

The main reason I came back to see how to get to the Delphi forum. Typing in Advice Column Fanatics in Bing brings up Delphi forums, but then I can't find the ACF one either by using the search button or browsing. I hope somebody comes back to today to see this. I don't want to post it on today's comment section and stir anything up.
Comment: #130
Posted by: C Meier
Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:51 AM
Re: alien07110 (#125)

Thank you for your confidence, my dear alien. ;-)
Comment: #131
Posted by: Miss Pasko
Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:20 PM
Re: C Meier--Try Googling "Advice Columns Fanatics, Delphi" and see what happens. Be sure to use "columns," not "column."

Here's a clunky way to do it. Creators doesn't like us posting urls.

http COLON forward slash forward slash COLON delphi forums DOT com forward slash advice columns forward slash start

Type in the punctuation named and take out the spaces and see if that works for you.
Comment: #132
Posted by: Joannakathryn
Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:28 PM
Re: Salty # 128
I usually enjoy your post. However your statement "he could get all George Zimmerman on you" is totally uncalled for. This man has not be convicted of anything. Please let the trial play out before you convict him.
Comment: #133
Posted by: Bailey
Sat Apr 28, 2012 3:53 PM
Bitey Fish is Bitey Fish and no one else. Bitey would never pretend to be someone Bitey isn't.

And Bitey thinks anyone claiming to know anyone else's Internet Piranha address is full of poo.

Comment: #134
Posted by: Piranha in Pajamas
Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:41 PM
LW1: You must have been really sheltered all your life if a nasty pest has you fearing for your life. LOL

LW2: I had to laugh when you wrote that she ignores you when you mention how you don't support her smoking. It's an absolutely ridiculous thing to say or write. You sound like a total nutter. You don't approve of her behavior and now the whole friendship is tainted? LOL Wow, you really need to stay away from children. You sound more hazardous than the smoke.
Comment: #135
Posted by: Diana
Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:04 PM
Re: zelhobs:

I said to name the place. Whatsamatter? You chicken?

Bwaaaaakkk, bwaaaak, bwaaaaak, bwaaaaak.................bwak, bwak, bwak!
Comment: #136
Posted by: Annies Fan
Sun Apr 29, 2012 11:26 AM
Re: Claire Beatty
I did not bash you for your ideas on a polyamorphous lifestyle, on the contrary, I specifically said more than once that you were entitled to any lifestyle that works for you, as long as everything was upfront and honest, and everyone was consenting.

I bashed you because you go for married men, and married men ONLY, all the while dripping with contempt for the wives of the men you bang, and blaming them and their "high-powered careers" for their husband's straying.

Those who want to hear it from the horse's mouth can go check at the source, Cheryl Lavin Tales From the Front, "Women React to the Women who Sleep With Married Men (2011-07-02) and Men React to Women who Date Married Men (2011-07-03).

I can print the whole thing here if you want. We'll see how many people you'll have on your side after they've read what you think of the wives. Keep in mind some of the posters here will be women whose marriage survived women like you - I don't doubt that many WILL call you names, which I never did.

Right now, you're going after me because I didn't agree with you and, although I never insulted you, I do tell it like it is - how bold of me. So, the whole world has to agree with you, otherswise they deserve whatever bad is happening to them? Nice disposition you've got there.
Comment: #137
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:22 PM
And BTW, all -
I've been away for two days. So much for me ignoring the trolls... Looks like the debate is raging whether I'm there or not. And it's still all my fault, of course.

If anyone was wondering whether a tree makes noise falling if there is no one to hear it, I guess we've just answered an age-old philosophical question!

Comment: #138
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:26 PM
Re: Lise Brouillette

Lise, you've got guts. Not many people would hang in there with this forum after a series of vicious onslaughts like the ones that have been aimed at you. Do continue to post, because many of us enjoy reading what you have to say
On this forum, differences of opinion are allowed. Criticism is allowed. Posting personal information about oneself, if relevant to the column, is also allowed. Personal attacks are not. The following is a quote from the policy:

“Any comments containing inappropriate language or personal attacks unrelated to columns will not be posted. “

And if posted, they can be removed. That's why each and every post has a blurb at the bottom saying ‘Report this Post'. Unfortunately, there are always people who have to post ugly comments, but there are others who are willing to report these comments. is supposed to be a forum for discussion, not a battleground.
Comment: #139
Posted by: JMG
Sun Apr 29, 2012 6:20 PM
@Girl Scout Leader
"but why keep saying the same thing?"
Because if someone keeps repeating the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, then people start believing it even if it doesn't make sense. Brainwashing techniques 101. That's why you'll hear the same damn $"%?&*(? ad on telly three times in a row.

We're starting to see this happening here, with some of the regulars not only lumping the trolls together with their targets and blaming the victim, but starting to believe the lies that are constantly being repeated.

And no, I have no indication that this is someone I know personally. I can't think of anyone I know who'd have such a vicious side (I certainly don't frequent people like that), nor any reason to hate me that much. But I, like plenty of others, have said things about myself when I use an example from my personal life as a case in point. I haven't seen any indication so far that this person knows anything more than what she picked up in my posts and then used against me. Keep in mind lies and slanderous accusations are NOT "something she knows about me".

So no, this is not someone I personally know, although I have a good idea which poster this is.

Comment: #140
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:15 AM
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