Living with a Fair-Weather Father Figure Dear Annie: My boyfriend, "Joe," and I have been together for five years. My son (from a previous relationship) and I moved away from family and friends to live with him. Shortly after moving, I became pregnant with our daughter. At first, our …Read more. Too Old To Be Sleeping with Grandma Dear Annie: I am very close to my 12-year-old grandson. His family life is not good, and since his parents live nearby, the boy is at my house more often than not. The problem is, he started sleeping with me when he was a baby and still does it. I …Read more. Gastric Bypass for Quitting Smoking: No Fair Trade Dear Annie: I am quite a bit overweight. My 29-year-old daughter is concerned that I might have a heart attack and die on her. Meanwhile, she has been smoking cigarettes since she was 16 years old. She said to me, "If you have gastric bypass surgery,…Read more. Witness to a Friend's (Abusive) Marriage Dear Annie: As a witness to a friend's marriage, I vowed to help keep their relationship strong. Would you please print something I could give them about verbal abuse? His wife has a serious drinking problem, and when she's had too much, she goes …Read more.more articles
Close the Book of Bobby and Toss It
Dear Annie: A year ago, I fell in love with "Bobby" over the Internet. Two months later, he said he loved me. I was stunned. But a little later, he told me he was in a relationship and the girl was suicidal. He was afraid that if he broke it off, she'd kill herself. I've had suicidal thoughts myself and understood.
Bobby sent me wonderful messages that made me feel terrific. I was happier than ever, even though he was terribly depressed about his situation. We made a promise that as long as we had each other, we wouldn't kill ourselves. After a while, I lost all desire to hurt myself. He gave me a reason to live.
But, Annie, sometimes Bobby acts like a player. He flirts with other women. When I get upset, he always apologizes. I checked his online profile and saw messages to and from his current girlfriend. In one, he told her he "wasn't ready to let go of her and was sorry they broke up." He never told me they weren't together anymore.
I posted a message, too, giving him a piece of my mind. But since he's been suicidal, I worry about him and frequently check to make sure he's been online and is OK. Whenever people say something mean about him, I always defend him.
The truth is, I still love him, but I'm afraid to talk to him again. Do you think there's any hope for the two of us, or is this just another book in my life that I have to close? — Desperate for Answers In Michigan
Dear Michigan: Close the book and throw it away. Bobby is not honest, and any relationship with him would eventually involve misery for you. We think you know this. We're glad you no longer have suicidal thoughts, but if they should return, please get some counseling and talk to someone who can truly help you. You should never rely on another person for your happiness.
Dear Annie: My two siblings and I are planning a family vacation that will include renting a house.
My husband absolutely refuses to pay for one-third the cost of the house, since we only require one bedroom and they require more. But if we divide it by the number of bedrooms, one family will end up paying almost half of the cost of the entire place. And if we divide it by the number of people, the family already paying the most to travel here will be paying the most for the house, as well. And that sibling has always been very generous with me.
I am upset with my husband, and now my siblings are upset with me. What is fair? — No Good Solution for this Arithmetic Problem
Dear Solution: Your husband's position is not unreasonable. The more people who use the premises the more it costs to run the place and supply the food. Unless those who spend less money to get there want to subsidize the others, it would be fair to discuss this with everyone and work out a solution together.
Dear Annie: This is in response to "Mom in Connecticut," who asked about emailing thank-you notes.
Few children would be eager to handwrite a thank-you note, but I have the solution. When my children were young, they were not permitted to enjoy the gift (spend the money, watch the DVD, play with the toy, etc.) until a handwritten thank-you was ready to be mailed. Now I don't have to remind them, as they know it is expected of them. — Mom in Pennsylvania
Dear Mom: We wish more parents were as conscientious as you. It would help with a lot of problems — not only thank-you notes.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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