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Equal Parts Heart Over Equal Parts Money
Dear Annie: My husband and I work comparable hours, but I earn less than half of what he does and have little discretionary income. I come home to my "second shift," which includes cooking, cleaning and picking up after this man, who …Read more.
Valentine's Day Sex Therapy
Dear Readers: Happy Valentine's Day to one and all, along with our special good wishes to the veterans in VA hospitals around the country. And our particular thanks to those readers who have taken the time to send valentines, visit the vets and …Read more.
Too Much Power in an Ex
Dear Annie: "Ron" and I have been living together for more than a year. I love him and believe he loves me. We are both in our 60s and retired.
Ron is good to me in all but one way: He can't seem to cut off contact with his old girlfriend. …Read more.
Wannabe Doc Has No Time for Mom and Dad
Dear Annie: Our 22-year-old son is in college. He lives at home, and we pay all his expenses, which is fine with us. He was never particularly interested in school until his last year of high school. Now he's doing really well.
The problem is, he …Read more.
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Annie's Mailbox, October 26Dear Annie: I am very antisocial. I don't go to parties as often as most teens, I hardly ever invite friends over, and the few friends I do have no longer attend the same school. I don't belong to any clubs or do other extracurricular activities, including sports, which has greatly affected my health. I spend most of my days at the computer, watching TV or pacing back and forth in my backyard. My parents have noticed my lack of social skills. My older sister is the same way. They think they are to blame for not introducing sports and other social hobbies to me at an early age, but something tells me that's not the case. I know I can make more friends if I try, but I don't know how. So, Annie, please tell me. How does a 14-year-old who's never had a circle of friends, never been a partygoer and never had her first kiss learn to be normal? — Lonely for Life Dear Lonely: You are not as abnormal as you think. Many teens have difficulty with their social skills, even though you may not see it. Plus, it sounds as if there is a family history of social anxiety. The fact that you want to change is a good sign, and we have every confidence you can take charge of your life. First, make an effort to get out of the house more. Force yourself to sign up for at least one extracurricular activity at school. Make a vow to smile and say hello to as many classmates as possible. Invite a new friend to go with you to the mall or come to your house and watch a movie. Be interested in what others have to say. All of these things require effort, and you will have to push yourself at first, but it will get easier over time. Dear Annie: I met my girlfriend three years ago and learned that her stepfather had sexually abused her when she was a young girl. Her mother knew about it, but never did anything to help her. We now live together and have a child.
This man should be taken off the streets regardless of how long ago the abuse happened. What else can I do to get her to seek counseling? — Concerned Dear Concerned: We know how upset you are, but please remember that this is not about you, and the constant pressure on your girlfriend undoubtedly makes her additionally uncomfortable and stressed. She may fear seeking counseling because she thinks it would necessitate arresting her stepfather, and she may not be ready to take that step. We urge you to call RAINN (rainn.org) at 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673) and ask how you can best help her. Dear Annie: When I was 18, I found out I had genital warts, and my world came out from under me. I thought only bad girls with poor hygiene got STDs. The response from my parents didn't help. Mom called me names and said I was "dirty." She insisted no one would ever want to touch me again. She phoned the doctor to ask if I was allowed to use the same toilet seats as the rest of the family. My father wouldn't make eye contact for a week. It destroyed our relationship. Having HPV changed the way I looked at myself and others. Mom was wrong. I have been married for almost four years to a wonderful man. He knows he could contract HPV, but it doesn't change his love for me. "Sad Mom" is doing the best thing for her daughter just by being there for her and not letting her beat herself up for the mistakes she has made. Someday someone will see the beautiful person she is. — Mending Relationships Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM
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