Annie's Mailbox® by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My son's girlfriend is pregnant with my grandson. They've been together five years. The problem is, "Rona" would rather text than talk. She's 27, and I'm sure she talks to her parents and sisters, but when it comes to my daughter or me, she can only find time to text or e-mail.

It is so frustrating. Worse, it's easy for her to take things the wrong way when she can't hear your voice. I saved her texts from an argument we had a while back and showed them to my son so he would know that she had lied. She doesn't know it, but she has been caught in several lies over the years.

I am ready to have my texting privileges removed from my cell phone so if Rona needs something, she'll have to call. My daughter, also pregnant, wants to be close to her brother, but her husband and Rona despise each other. My daughter continues to invite them over, and they always have an excuse not to come. I know Rona doesn't want a close relationship.

My question is, how do I explain to Rona that I would rather talk than write? Should I tell her about the lies or leave it alone? I have gone out of my way to get close to her, but everyone keeps saying she is not right for my son. Please give me some advice. I'm ready for — Relief in Tennessee

Dear Tennessee: Your son already knows about the lies and the fact that Rona doesn't want to be close to his family, but he still has chosen her. The new baby will only cement that bond. You are not going to split them up. Instead, find something to like about this young woman if it kills you.

Rona prefers texting because she gets nervous talking to you, so when you want to hear her voice, you'll have to be the one to call, and we recommend you do so often. Perhaps the new baby will give you both an opportunity to be more comfortable around each other.

Dear Annie: My whole family has gone commercial over Christmas. My kids received over 100 gifts last year. I know everyone gives out of love, but how can my kids get a proper view of Christmas with this kind of indulgence? My wife's parents gave so many presents they ran out of paper. Even those who are tight with money gave too much. It's not that I am ungrateful. I just feel the meaning is totally lost.

I have suggested to my wife that we ask for donations instead, and while she likes the idea, she is afraid someone's feelings would be hurt. I would rather have one homemade gift and nothing else, but it looks unlikely.

I am losing my love for the holiday. How can I get the true meaning back in Christmas? — The Other Charlie Brown in Louisville, Ky.

Dear Charlie: If you cannot get the relatives to stop showering you with presents, simply pack most of them up and donate them to charity (the presents, not the relatives). Someone, somewhere will appreciate these items enormously. Use this as an opportunity to show your children that giving to those in need is the most rewarding gift of all.

Dear Annie: The advice to "Kansas Bride" was way off when you told her to ignore her husband's attempts to touch her breasts in public.

I had to tell my husband not to talk about our sex life in public or we wouldn't have one, and that if he touched me disrespectfully in public, he wouldn't get any that day. Worked perfectly and I never had to enforce it. — Tough Love

Dear Tough: That approach can be quite effective, provided you are willing to follow through. And we have no doubt you would have.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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