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Dreams of "What If?"
Dear Margo: I'm a 20-something woman engaged to the best man I've ever known. I am beyond ecstatic to be getting married. My problem has nothing to do with him and everything to do with a guy who was one of my best friends in college. This guy and I …Read more.
Afraid of Little Girls
Dear Margo: Between the ages of 6 and 10, I was severely bullied, but I was given the impression by grownups that such behavior was perfectly normal for children and I shouldn't be so sensitive. (I now realize they probably did not pay attention to …Read more.
Every Problem Does Not Have a Solution
Dear Margo: Many years ago, I got a call informing me that my son was arrested and being held on $1 million bail. That was when I first learned that he is a pedophile.
He has just completed his 20-year prison sentence, and during that time I learned …Read more.
When You Live on a One-Way Street
Dear Margo: My patience has run out with the three living members of my family. My father, his mother and my brother have gone through periods of not talking to each other or to me. My brother wants nothing to do with my father or our grandmother, …Read more.
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Joyous Empty Nesters!
Dear Margo: We are empty-nest parents. We're having a great time while our two daughters are in college. Finally, we have the freedom to do some adult activities without worrying about boring or embarrassing the kids. For example, the art museum instead of a soccer game every Saturday. Sleeping in vs. getting up and getting them off to school. No more PTA meetings. No waiting up for them to come home from dates. (We didn't tell them that we couldn't sleep while they were out with some of those yahoos they dated.) Weekends at a nearby resort hotel come to mind. Then, of course, there's the sex on the living room couch, which was impossible when they were home, for fear they would get up and wander around the house at an inopportune time.
We love our daughters dearly, but it's time for them to spread their wings and fly. We only hope they will not show up unexpectedly on a Sunday afternoon lest their mother die of embarrassment. We have friends who seem bereft when their kids are out of the house. Are we the oddballs? — Empty Nest Dad
Dear Emp: I'm with you. I think by the time kids are grown up enough to be out of the house, parents have earned the right to say goodbye to PTA meetings and have sex on the couch. I never did get it with the Velcro parents who had no life outside of their children. Your attitude to your kids being off to college sounds very healthy to me, and I'm so happy you're enjoying yourselves. Sounds like a job well done. — Margo, approvingly
House Rules
Dear Margo: I'm a mom with four children under the age of 7. I am also a part-time student in a rigorous science program that takes up a lot of my time. While school is in session, my husband and I do not entertain guests, nor do we travel. We have found that in order to keep our house livable, the kids happy and healthy, and my schoolwork on track, we need to limit distractions. Most of our friends and family are aware of this and have no problem scheduling time to see us during my breaks from school. The problem is my mother-in-law.
She is upset that we won't let her visit while I am in school. My mother-in-law technically does not have a home of her own (she has a boyfriend she stays with sometimes), so she spends her time traveling between my husband's siblings' homes. We don't live in the same state, so she has mostly left us alone. Unfortunately, she has all but worn out her welcome with one sister-in-law due to her trying to take over. She likes to redecorate, cook and mother the children without anyone's permission.
She is now talking about coming to stay with us for "a little while." I am sure this would turn into an extended stay. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I cannot compromise my educational program — and our financial future — to suit this woman. How do I explain to her that we cannot have company while school is in session? — Doing It All
Dear Do: You don't. Your husband does. (Happily, it sounds as though he concurs with the program you are living by.) He has to explain to his mother the system you've worked out, and from which you do not deviate, so that you can meet the primary responsibilities in your lives. Suggest a visit during one of your "open" times. (Too bad you can't use the cook, decorator and nanny services.) — Margo, resolutely
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at www.creators.com/dearmargo. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
COPYRIGHT 2011 MARGO HOWARD
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
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Comments
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22 Comments | Post Comment
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If your husband is too spineless to say no to his mama, then do it yourself; "no mom, I can't have anyone staying here because everything has to be scripted and ordered down to the last detail. When I'm finished with my science studies or during my next break, then we can see you." stick to your guns.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Roger
Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:47 PM
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LW1--NO, NO, NO, you are definitely not alone!!! My husband and I are enjoying our empty nest for exactly the same reasons. I too have never been able to understand the helicopter parents who want their kids to be tied to their apron strings forever. Our responsibility as parents is to raise them to be independent. And their job is to grow up and move away so that we can get freaky on the couch/dining room table/washing machine whenever we want!!! Go for it, Sista!!!
Comment: #2
Posted by: beth
Sat Dec 17, 2011 4:30 AM
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LW1: My daughter is 19, starts college in two weeks (YAY!) and I am loving her new independance.
My life no longer revolves around choir practices (every morning at 6!) choir trips four times a year, sports, school holidays and trying to wrangle up day care, babysitters if I needed to go to the doctor, etc. Now, I have my life back. In the last two years, the freedom I've gradually gotten back as she naturally grows into an adult with her own life has allowed me to restart to live my own.
My daughter is proud of me, and I bet your kids are proud of you too.
LW2: The thing that concenrs me with this letter is that the mother in law appears to be homeless, almost by choice. Does she need assisted living? Is she just afraid of being alone? What the LW's husband and his siblings need to do is attack the root cause of this homelessness, which we can't really tell from the contents of the letter. The MIL needs to have a home of her own to go to and then be told to go there. People who couch surf (or guest bedroom surf) do it for many reasons, is this financial? Is it again the fear of being alone? Whatever, it needs to be addressed.
this is a symptom of a much bigger problem. address the root cause.
Comment: #3
Posted by: nanchan
Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:09 AM
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LW1-
I don't know if you're statistially an oddball or not, but it would be a sad thing if you were. The purpose of parenting is so children learn to live independently, not to make them addicted to helicopter parenting. Have fun, you've earned it, and it looks like you did a good job!
LW2-
Your mother in law is perfectly capable of planning, so to be scheduling her shuttling to your house during the times when you can welcome her. For her to bitch and complain because you refuse to put everything on hold to accomodate her indicates that she is trying to sabotage your efforts - lots and lots of MILs out there, for whom the only reason for the DIL to be allowed to exist is to serve their precious son. I had one of those.
You do not state why this woman doesn't have a place of her own, but for her to not even allow herself her own space is perhaps indicative of how she feels about her own gender - God forbid you should occupy any space, own anything or accomplish anything in your own name. I had an aunt like that.
The solution for the problem would be for her to have a place of her own, of course. I think this is what needs to be addressed first, and methinks the SIL where she's just about worn out her welcome would be a good one to approach first. If the problem is financial, perhaps all the siblings can pool their resources on a pro-rata basis - would that be much more expensive than putting her up extensively and regularly? But, seeing that old age pension and other government programs exist, I find it hard to believe that she has no resources to fall back on for basic living expenses, and would therefore tend to look for the real reasons for her '"homelessness" elsewhere.
But Doing It All, you SHOULDN'T be doing it all. Your HUSBAND should man up and explain the facts of life to his mama, not you. If he's as supportive as it sounds like he is, it shouldn't be a problem. It IS his job. If he's weak enough to force you to handle it, controlling as helicopter MIL sounds like, it will only lead to a huge fight.
Comment: #4
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:23 AM
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LW1--Personally, I think my parents reveled in embarrassing us kids when my sisters and I were growing up! Haha. We secretly loved it. Fortunately, they, like you did their job of raising us to be wholly independent, self-sufficient adults with aplomb. The went on to do all sorts of wild and cooky things in their retirement and the few years they had together before my father passed away to cancer were some of their most cherished. I agree with Margo that the copter parents are doing far, far more damage by handling every little detail in their children's lives and hovering over every decision, every action, everything! Too many of these parents are strangers to each other (if the parents are still together at all) and feel the need to compensate for their own perceived failures by doing everything in their power "to make things easier" for their children. These factors conspire to produce selfish, self-entitled "adults" who can't do anything or themselves and are tied so tightly to the apron strings as to be one step away from asphyxiation.
LW2--"The problem is my mother-in-law." Of course it is. First and foremost, your husband must stand behind you on this. You explain to MIL exactly what you told Margo. When you're through, you look at her flatly and say "any questions?" If your MIL launches into a dissertation to persuade you to change your mind or simply dismisses your very valid arguments as to why her little open-ended stay with you is out of the question out of hand, then she's either every bit the manipulative battle Axe you make her out to be or she's an insensitive clod who is intentionally trying to stir up trouble in your marriage. Beware!
Comment: #5
Posted by: Chris
Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:19 AM
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Re: Chris
Sorry, Chris. I disagree.
The problem with the LW isn't her MIL. it's her HUSBAND and the family dynamic that they have developed. it's not the LW's mom, it's her husband's, and he should be "manning up" and putting his foot down, not her.
The real issue is that MIL has some issues. Big issues, with staying alone, control (the need to decorate other people's homes etc), separation anxiety from her children (goes on tours to stay with them almost).
In a way, and I've often felt this about the Annies and Margo, it seems like both today's letters are about the same issue from two different standpoints.
LW1: Yahoo! we got the kids free! Let's party and get down!
LW2: Mom won't stop hovering even though we have our own families.
See the connection? You see two very different types of parenting here. One, allowing the children to let go and enjoy their lives and gifting their parents with independance, the other refusing to stop the parenting LONG after it should be done because they can't accept the realities of life which is that children grow and should grow UP.
At this point, it is the natural order of life for the husband to take care of his mother, both by protecting his own family (LW and children) and allowing them to succeed, and also by taking care of his mother (wth his siblings) by finding a way to help her to move on to the next phase of her life.
Comment: #6
Posted by: nanchan
Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:40 AM
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@ nanchan
Actually I agree with you 100%. I'm going out to buy my scratch-offs right after I type this! You're right, the LW's husband should be the one to inform his mother of the situation and tell her flatly to back off. Some of these intrusive parents just don't get it.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Chris
Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:24 AM
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Some good friends of mine had a somewhat-similar problem. His mother was very disapproving of her daughter-in-laws attempts to improve herself by going to school, and felt that her son was working too hard and that her daughter-in-law should have been at home, cleaning and cooking, so her son wouldn't be so stressed.
Now, she didn't come right out and say it that way. It was all done very indirectly, with several attempts at sabotage that had on the face of it had nothing to do with the real issue.
There are surely lots of issues with this LW's mother-in-law, more than just one -- but I'd be that part of it is indeed some sort of problem with the daughter-in-law working to better herself, and she's probably not happy that her son's life seems to revolve around the LW's scheduling needs, rather than vice-versa.
OTOH, it really is up to the husband here to be firm with his mother, and the LW should only have to play a supporting role here. If this couple agreed this is what their life needed to be like so they -- as a *family* -- could get ahead and create a better future, then they need to work together to protect that decision.
Comment: #8
Posted by: Mike H
Sat Dec 17, 2011 4:57 PM
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Yes, empty nesters should enjoy but don't be TOO smug or your Velcro parent friends may start claiming you truly didn't love your kids. Some people get defensive if they feel looked down on even tho I think you're the ones thinking right.
For the woman who had 4 kids under age 7 and is in a "science program," I agree, get hubby to man up and say No to his mom (but not without you in the room! or nearby while he's on the phone). I'm a tad curious as to how you have 4 kids under age 7 and are now studying so intensively. Martyr complex or failure of birth control?
Comment: #9
Posted by: Bonnie Simpson
Sat Dec 17, 2011 7:43 PM
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Re Empty Nester - "If it bleeds, it leads"... or else gets printed as a letter to Dear Margo. It would be very unwise to form a picture of any demographic based solely on the advice columns.
Comment: #10
Posted by: Snarf
Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:44 PM
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Re LW2: While I agree that the husband should be the one to establish boundaries with the visiting relatives, I also agree with Margo that the MIL's services as a cook, decorator and nanny might be underestimated. Having domestic help while attending school, I can't imagine how that would negatively affect academic performance. Forget convention...be practical...accept the help.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Bear
Sun Dec 18, 2011 12:17 AM
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Re: Bear
Not if the price to pay is a complete takeover.
"She has all but worn out her welcome with one sister-in-law due to her trying to take over. She likes to redecorate, cook and mother the children without anyone's permission." This clearly implies that the MIL's starts behaving like this is her own home and not her hosts', redecorating as she sees fit and planning menus unilaterally, and (most importantly) that her idea of parenting is not necessarily in agreement with that of the parents. And yet, that she still does what she wants. I wouldn't want that in my home - not to mention that if the copter MIL has a problem accepting visiting restrictions, she'll not respect at all the private time the LW needs to study and write term papers, and will keep interrupting.
On top of that, she lives out of state compared to the other siblings, meaning that, once the MIL moves in, she'll never be able to get rid of her. Hell no, she shouldn't go, this is a fate worse than death which would cost her both her education and her marriage.
The LW and her husband seem to have reached a workable MO in what is a difficult to balance set of conflicting needs. I say, don't rock the boat, it's a little too full for that.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:18 AM
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LW1, I too raised my children to be contributing members of society and be responsible for their own happiness. My job is done. They know where I am and they know my phone number. The call for advice once in a while and even follow it sometimes. I did not attend all of their games and I did not center my life around them. Their lives centered around the home life and they knew that it was their base. My husband and I worked hard to ensure that they saw how marriage really works and they were a branch of that. If the home life was good then they were secure and safe.
Our children are grown, gone and happy people. We are free to travel and live our own lives and be interesting people. We have things to discuss other than our children's lives. Instead of living through them we live our own lives. So change the locks on the door and have fun in the living room!
Comment: #13
Posted by: Kat Erickson
Sun Dec 18, 2011 7:55 AM
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It seems to me that the larger problem is having a place for the mother-in-law to call her own, even if it's just a small efficiency apartment. We all agree that the LW shouldn't have to put up with this intrusive woman and that her husband should tell her 'no" to the visit, but all that does is say "yes" to the MIL driving the other family nuts. We don't know how many children there are in this family, but perhaps they could get together - do an intervention of sorts with the MIL - and help her get settled in one place. She has to be told that the couch surfing can't go on indefinitely. She should also be told very clear boundaries when she's visiting.
Comment: #14
Posted by: Maggie Lawrence
Sun Dec 18, 2011 8:02 AM
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Re: Bear
I disagree with your post.
Sometimes having "organized chaos" within your family dynamic is better than having a high strung organizer in the house. As much as I love my mother, she's the same way as the MIL and I have refused to have her stay in my house for 10 years. Why? Because I would leave the house to go to work, Mom would take care of my daughter (then much younger). When I would come home, Mom would have cleaned all the cupboards, redone my living room, changed all the light bulbs, my home was no longer my home. When you are working 10 hour days, coming home to your mom (or MIL) changing your home, it no longer feels like a sanctuary, it feels like a judgement statement. Add to that she went through all my closets, drawers (certain things lived in my car while she was there, if you know what I mean), all in the guise of "helping you get organized"... it's not help, it's snooping and intrusion and I wont' tolerate it. When I stay at her house, I leave my SUITCASE in the car sometimes because she'll go through it "to help with your laundry".
Some of us are private people, Bear, and when you come from a family like mine (lots of kids) you value your privacy. It's not about taking advantage of help. If the MIL took an apartment near by and was willing to have the kids over after school and maybe make a few dinners, or even do that at the LW's house and yet give the LW and her family the privacy and peace they need, it would be ok. But it's not. the LW and the sister in law as well view this as intrusion. that's good enough for me. It has nothing to do with pride. It has everything to do with privacy. And when you are raising a young family, working and going to school, you need a safe space to call your own, not your MIL' sissues to come home to.
Comment: #15
Posted by: nanchan
Sun Dec 18, 2011 8:14 AM
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I can see why Margo and Bear are making the suggestion, though. If this were a different kind of M-I-L, one who wouldn't "try to take over", but instead would be please to take a supporting role in order to have a roof over her head and her family around her, it really would be a huge help to the LW, who is obviously working very hard and has lots of small children.
But, given how this particular MIL wore out her welcome at another family member's house, it seems unlikely she wouldn't do the same with the LW -- which would end up making her situation worse, not better.
It used to be the norm that grandparents lived with the children and grandchildren. Extended families all in one place, and it worked well (or well enough) for generation after generation. So it's too bad that this particular grandparent couldn't make the adjustment, because with the right attitude MIL could be a godsend to the LW.
Comment: #16
Posted by: Mike H
Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:44 AM
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LW1 -- you're just boasting, and you know it! :)
LW2 -- As others have noted, the bigger issue is that this woman is basically homeless. The problem with suggesting that you and the other family members try to work together to find her a place is that she is almost certainly homeless BY CHOICE. Regulars have ready about my BIL with the three kids with the woman he never much liked and that whole toxic situation. Well, the woman's mother is one of these people who is home less by choice. She goes from relative to relative, making everyone's lives miserable. My BIL actually bought her a condo. She lived there for maybe a year before she found some excuse to start making the rounds among her relatives again. She doesn't WANT to have a home of her own, even if someone else is paying for it. She wants to be meddling in other people's lives, period. From what you have said about your MIL, I'm betting she is the same way. Sure, there may be other factors in the equation as well -- not wanting to be alone, for example, but I'd still bet good money that the primary driver is her desire to meddle with other people's lives.
Having said that, if you are prone to exaggeration and just have never really liked your MIL, then Margo's and Bear's suggestion that you might actually find your MIL to be a help to you is something to think about.
But regardless of which way this cookie crumbles, it is your HUSBAND's job to tell your MIL when she can and can't visit, not yours -- as so many others have pointed out.
Comment: #17
Posted by: Lisa
Mon Dec 19, 2011 9:28 AM
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@Mike H, nanchan & Bear -- regarding grandparents living with/visiting long-term with adult children, etc. We are taking LW2's letter at face value and accepting her view of things, which is that the MIL is a controlling, pain-in-the-@$$ who mooches off of all her relatives and meddles with their lives. But when I read nanchan's description of how her mom would clean out the cupboards, redo the living room, etc., I realized that a big part of the equation is how the DIL (or daughter, in nanchan's case) perceives what is being done. My MIL is one of those people who will clean out every cupboard, etc. She LOVES to be doing something to "fix" the house. We learned to channel this energy for good -- she has painted every single room in our house, and she also painted the outside of the house, too! I think the woman's insane, but she loves it and refuses to be paid for it (we do, of course, buy all the supplies -- and we have found other ways to thank her -- random dinners out, etc.) And she is compulsive about groceries -- I believe she is INCAPABLE of coming to my house without bringing groceries with her, and I know that when I'm not looking, she's going to try to clean the kitchen or do laundry or something. But I know she does this out of love, as opposed to it being some statement on our never having anything decent to eat or that we don't keep the house clean enough or anything like that. And, of course, THAT's the difference -- we know she really is just trying to help, as opposed to secretly trying to control how we do things or making it a slap in the face about how we do things.
I believe nanchan when she says that her mother's "help" is really just an excuse to pry and meddle. So, nanchan, I am NOT suggesting that you are part of the problem in the scenario you related. The relationship between you and your mother is one that has existed all your life, and since your mom was the responsible adult at the beginning and formation of this relationship, we have to assume that she is the one who "started" it, as it were. It's different when it's a DIL and MIL -- they meet as adults and both have a hand in establishing the dynamic. So, it is POSSIBLE that the LW IS part of the problem. Maybe the MIL really is just trying to help, and it's the DIL who is a control freak and wants things done her way on her terms on her schedule (which, we have to admit, it does kind of sound that way).
Again, I'm taking the LW at face value, which is why I said what I did in my original post. I'm just pointing out that it's possible the LW is, perhaps, a tad rigid and controlling -- and the fact that she apparently thinks she's the one who has to tell the MIL not to come could be an indication that hubby isn't totally on board with the rigid rules LW has established, which could potentially be in keeping with her being a part of the problem.
Still, regardless of who is or isn't the problem -- LW and her husband have ostensibly figured out what works for them and have established clear guidelines on that, so hubby needs to tell Mom when it's OK for her to visit and stand his ground when it isn't.
Comment: #18
Posted by: Lisa
Mon Dec 19, 2011 10:27 AM
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I might have reminded the joyous empty nesters to bolt the doors and draw the curtains whilst enjoying a little afternoon delight on the sofa. And if the kids ask why, tell them the truth. The kids will learn to telephone before calling. Peace, MC
Comment: #19
Posted by: Mary C
Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:19 PM
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Dear Margo: My boyfriend of two years is a great guy in many ways, but sometimes I am uncomfortable with the way he relates to other women. One woman I'll call Sherrie worries me. My boyfriend seems to be trying to co-parent his 24 year old daughter, Tina, with Sherrie. Tina's mother died a little over two years ago, so it's natural that sometimes she needs emotional support. I think he's a pretty good dad, but sometimes my boyfriend reaches out to Sherrie for help. Initially, I just accepted this. But over time, I've come to suspect that he keeps Sherrie in the loop to satisfy his own needs more than those of his daughter.
For example, when his daughter announced she was getting married, he told her to make plans with Sherrie, not him. The daughter has since decided to have a very small wedding and seemed to have not got much help or support from Sherrie except that Sherrie had gone with her to see Tina's prospective mother in law and, Tina said, Sherrie was drinking heavily the whole weekend. Tina didn't sound very amused by this.
When I initially asked who Sherrie was, he said she was a friend of his ex wife's and close to Tina and insisted he was not friends with her, but I am getting the impression that Tina doesn't actually like Sherrie that much but that he does.
Last month, his daughter --who is in another state -- was in a car accident and called her father. He did good dad things like call the insurance company and make sure a tow truck was coming and just talk to her. The daughter asked a friend to come pick her up. But my boyfriend then called Sherrie and asked her to drive about 300 miles to go get the daughter, who already had her own friend coming. I gather he had lots of phone calls with Sherrie to arrange all this and he told me he got very emotional in the interval when he was talking to Sherrie, but not before (when he was talking to me) or after (when he was talking to me). Sherrie eagerly leaped into the breach. But the daughter and her friend ended up having to wait for Sherrie since the friend arrived a lot sooner. In other words, Sherrie's presence seemed totally unnecessary and introduced some drama. I have never been introduced to Sherrie, but they seem to have a flirty relationship and my boyfriend mentioned once that Sherrie's husband doesn't like him. I am beginning to think I know why.
When his daughter needs support, my boyfriend calls Sherrie. He asks Sherrie to pump his daughter for information and then asks Sherrie to tell him what his daughter said. (When we recently visited the daughter and her fiancee together he said to me in apparent astonishment afterward, "They were so candid!" I couldn't think of any reason they wouldn't be.) Beyond my own twinges of jealousy, I'm beginning to wonder if Sherrie is even a good thing for the daughter. Do you think I should tell him what I'm thinking or just keep my mouth shut? I barely know the daughter myself, but have a good impression of her.
Comment: #20
Posted by: Lisa
Mon Dec 19, 2011 3:06 PM
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Re: Lisa #2 (since this is obviously another Lisa...)
I would be the first one to insist that a genuine platonic friendship can exist between a man a woman, but... this doesn't seem to be one of them. Especially since the daughter doesn't seem to be all that fond of "Sherrie", so it's not like she's the one demanding that she be in the picture. Plus the fact that she's an adult already and doesn't even need a perfect stranger to act as substitute for an absent parent - that job should be yours.
How come you barely know the daugher and Sherrie is the one used for co-parenting? You're the potential step-mother, not her... at least you should be and she shouldn't.
Yes, start by trying to (calmly) discuss this with him, and ask him why is it that he turns to her and not you. You have a right to an answer to that. If he denies, minimises, poo-poos and puts the blame on you, then you know you've raised a red flag. What you should be doing then is some investigative work to determine what exactly is going on between these two.
You do not mention if you live with him. If you have access to his cell phone and credit cards records, start there to see if there are any special trips for two, calls in the middle of the night, suggestive texting... I don't text, so I don't know how you can check on this. Check on his usage of the computer and his e-mails. Yes, this IS snooping. But, given the circumstances, I believe that two years is long enough to need to know where you stand here and if you need to invest more time on this guy. I would suggest checking on his FB account, but depending on the settings, you may not have access to everything and also, he may have a second, secret account.
Her husband doesn't like you, heh? Hm. Certainly sounds like there is more to it than "the dear friend of her departed mother". Could be that he's only with you because he can't be with her because she won't leave her husband. If you can check nothing on your own, it might be a good idea to hire a sleuth. This is my perspective, perhaps others will have different theories and insights.
You are in the commentary here, which the Annies don't read and don't answer. If you want their answers rather than/on top of ours, click on "Write the Authors" right underneath the archives calendar at the right of the page, next to the top of the column.
P.S.: I'm looking at the timeline here... You say the daughter's mother died two years ago, and yet that you've also been with your boyfriend for two years. I hope he wasn't still married to the mother at the time - that might explain why you can't get too close to the daughter.
If THAT is the case, well... A leopard doesn't change its spots, and it may be that your boyfriend is doing to you what he did to his wife.
Comment: #21
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Tue Dec 20, 2011 9:14 AM
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Erratum -
"Her husband doesn't like you, heh? " should read "Her husband doesn't like him, heh? "
Comment: #22
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:51 AM
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