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RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Readers: Several readers have written to say it was easier to get off cocaine than …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with kidney disease. My mother told me …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: Too many parents have no idea what goes on all day in school, and yet, …Read more. RELEASE: SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 2012 Editor's Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers' loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns. These letters originally appeared in 1999. Dear Ann Landers: I am the mother of a very confused 5-year-old boy. His father and I …Read more.
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Classic Ann Landers January 10

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Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married 12 years. We have two children, an 11-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. Both have been involved in sports since first grade, mostly soccer and basketball. The problem is my husband. He has very high expectations of our children's performance in sports. He lectures them before the game, tells them what to do during the game, and criticizes them afterward. He screams so much his voice becomes hoarse. He made both kids cry when he was assistant coach for my daughter's basketball team last season and had several outbursts, including swearing. One embarrassing performance resulted in a stern warning from the referee.

My husband behaves this way only when sports are involved, but I cannot deal with this much longer. He thinks I am crazy and says I don't understand because I never played team sports. I need your advice. — Desperate in the Northeast

Dear Northeast: Your husband is not going to change, nor will he turn down the volume, so you must learn to protect yourself and your children against his outbursts. Play deaf, and instruct your children to do the same. Just let him scream his foolish head off. One of these days, his doctor is going to say something to him about his ulcers or his high blood pressure, and then he will have to listen.

Dear Ann Landers: My fiance and I have been together for almost four years and are planning to be married next summer.

"Desmond" and I are having a serious disagreement because I do not want to change my name when we marry. When I let him know a year ago that I want to keep my name, Desmond said, "I hope you aren't serious." Not another word was said about the subject until last week. Because Desmond thinks it is so important for us to have the same last name, I suggested that he take MY family name. His response was, "That's the craziest thing I ever heard of."

Is this an example of male ego run amok or what? I do not want this issue to create a rift between us and would agree to change my name just to make him happy, although I really don't want to. Am I being overly obstinate, as he says? I would appreciate some Ann Landers guidance. We're getting nowhere. — A Split Opinion in the Midwest

Dear Split Opinion: The "liberated women" are going to hate me, but I suggest a compromise, even though there is something to be said for tradition — and I believe you lose nothing by respecting it. Use your own surname for professional purposes and your husband's name for everything else.

When planning a wedding, who pays for what? Who stands where? "The Ann Landers Guide for Brides" has all the answers. Send a self-addressed, long, business-sized envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS (R)

COPYRIGHT 2010 CREATORS.COM


Comments

2 Comments | Post Comment
These are some of the worse examples of "advice" I've ever heard. They are woefully dated. A man who verbally abuses his children should be stopped, not ignored. Ignoring doesn't do anything for the children's mental health. Men like this should be banned from coaching and not allowed to interact with their children this way. As to the woman who doesn't want to change her name, why should she create a split identity? She's entitled to an identity of her own choosing. Stop running this column with its outdated, and downright dangerous, advice. Times have changed.
Comment: #1
Posted by: Reader No More
Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:04 AM
of course the responses in this column are outdated... they were written 11 years ago!
Comment: #2
Posted by: MMB
Sun Feb 28, 2010 6:17 PM
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