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Bare Naked Mommies
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The Long Trip to Tenuous
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Betrayed by Her Boyfriend and Her Boss
Dear Annie: I work for a major corporation, and I like my job. However, my boss has betrayed me.
She is single, and I wanted to set her up with a friend of my boyfriend. She sent me her picture, and my boyfriend asked me to send the pic to his phone so he could send it to his friend. Instead of doing that, however, he texted my boss all night long. He asked her to be discreet and not tell me.
She showed me all of his text messages, and I broke up with him. A few months later, he apologized and said he was drunk when it happened, and we got back together. While we were apart, he washed the clothes I'd left there and packed them in a canvas bag. When he gave me the bag, I noticed it had my boss's name on it in her own handwriting. That means she was at his place with an overnight bag.
I confronted her with this information, and she wouldn't even make eye contact. She said I was crazy. My boyfriend said the same thing. I need to know what to do. — Hurt and Confused in Torrance, Calif.
Dear Torrance: So, worst-case scenario, your boss and your boyfriend slept together. Do you believe it won't happen again? Can you forgive them? If so, tell them that and put this behind you. If not, decide whether you want to keep your job and your boyfriend, because you won't be able to trust either of them.
Dear Annie: I am a nurse at a walk-in clinic. When did it become OK for parents to help themselves to exam gloves and tongue depressors for the purpose of entertaining their children?
It is not unusual to walk into the exam room and find several gloves that have been blown up and are being batted around and children running around the room with tongue depressors in their hands. These medical supplies cost the facility money and are meant for medical use, not party favors. It also is not safe to hand a 3-year-old a tongue depressor. We have stickers that are more appropriate.
When my children were little, I would never dream of opening containers in the doctor's office. Is this appropriate behavior? Do people believe they are entitled to these supplies because of the cost of medical care? Or are they simply ignorant? — Baffled Nurse in Indiana
Dear Indiana: We've seen doctors and nurses give these gloves and tongue depressors to children to keep them occupied, so it's not a big stretch for parents to think it's OK to do the same. Those folks who are caught depressor-red-handed should be told not to do that in the future. Also, try posting a sign asking patients not to take these items. Otherwise, the best you can do is store them in a locked drawer or cabinet.
Dear Annie: Thank you for your wonderful advice to "Maine Husband" concerning his family's demands while he cares for his disabled wife.
There are 3,500,000 current spousal caregivers in America. We lose our best friend, our lover, our future — half the team that supports income, raises the kids and runs the home. We often sublimate our own health and needs to care for our spouse.
The nonprofit Well Spouse Association is the only national peer-to-peer support group dedicated solely to partners providing long-term care, regardless of the underlying illness. Only someone who has been there can truly understand what it takes to maintain your own self when caring for a spouse.
Please share with your readers that at www.wellspouse.org we understand and can help. You are not alone. — Lawrence Bocchiere III, President Well Spouse(tm) Association
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2011 CREATORS.COM
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58 Comments | Post Comment
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LW1 - Well, break up with your boyfriend, obviously. Since you work for a major corporation, you may be able to be placed in a different department. Speak to HR about a transfer. I'm sure your boss won't object. If that isn't an option, decide if you're willing to face your boss every day for the sake of having a job. In your shoes, I think I would, but I'm not. It's up to you.
BTW, the Annies were mega crass in their response, acting like this is no big deal and giving non-advice. Ugh.
LW2 - No, no and yes. But I get the impression you were venting more than anything. These people probably don't have a clue that these things cost money (they think - it's just a cent a glove at most, what's the big deal?)
All you can do is try to deter them. A sign as the Annies suggested would work on some of those people. Perhaps also having the nurse/receptionist tell the parents in the waiting room "okay Mrs. Smith, please proceed to room B to wait for the doctor, but you might want to bring along a book to keep the little ones entertained until Dr. Jones can see you" - basically saying that your kid might get bored and it's up to you to entertain it. And if you find someone doing that, don't hesitate to say something "I'm sorry, Mrs. Jones, these are for staff use during the appointment only. Would you like a children's book?"
And Annies, really??? That's like saying "the store gives out samples of food for free so it's not a big stretch for parents to think that they can take anything they want and not pay."
Comment: #1
Posted by: Zoe
Thu Dec 1, 2011 9:12 PM
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Re: Zoe Personally I don't think it is a big deal. She dumped him, and lost any vote in his sex life or right to information regarding that sex life the second she did that. It likely went very bad between Boss and BF, he realized he was an idiot or Boss dumped him or both, and they want to just forget the whole ugly mess. And being as they were both single when it went down (else she'd have seen the overnight bag before moving out) it's NONE of anyone's business.
LW1, let it go. They texted and were flirty, you decided that was not for you, you left, they carried on as they had the right to do. Their relationship is fairly obvs over now. You have no dog in this hunt. Don't be like one of those men who crotch sniff panties.
Comment: #2
Posted by: wkh
Thu Dec 1, 2011 10:37 PM
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LW1: Your boss did not betray you. Your boyfriend did. Your boyfriend texted your boss when you were still together. She showed you those text messages: that was the right thing to do. If she had betrayed you, she would never have showed you the text messages. Once you broke up with your boyfriend, he became fair game for any female to date. Sorry, that's the way it is. If she dated him after you broke up with him, it reallyis none of your business.
Was it quetionable of her to go after your boyfriend? I'll grant you it's a little, shall we say, funky. In the unspoken girl friend code myfriends and I have lived by, we would never date an ex of a friend without express permission from that friend (unless we didn't like that friend much). It just seems to work that way. the only time I dated a guy one of my friends had dated (with her permission), she flipped out and we didn't speak for three years!
But still, your boyfriend was fair game, your boss did not betray you. I'd dump the guy, and look into changing jobs within your company. Most big corporations have their jobs posted online, check those first. For an internal transfer, you will most likely have to have your boss's permission to even look, so once you have found a couple of good options, you should loop your boss in. This is a conversation to have sooner in the process rather than later because,and trust me on this, whoever you interview with in the corporation will call your boss to see why you are looking to leave your job. Come up with something, but don't say, PLEASE don't say "Because my boss slept with my boyfriend." Say something more along the lines of " I would like to further advance my career". But with your current boss, say something like "I think it's best if I look to other options at the company"
Now, here's where I give you the mother talk, ready? You made several mistakes here, ones that I hope you learn from NOW and do not repeat. Your first mistake was mixing your personal life with your business life. You should never EVER set your boss up with someone. Her love life is none of your business and she should be ashamed of herself for telling you that information in the first place. Neither of you acted very professionally there.
Your second mistake was trying to set up anybody through your boyfriend. Granted you thought you could trust him, but a better idea would have been to talk to his friend yourself. Just seems to work better that way.
Mistake number three was taking your boyfriend back. So what if he was drunk when he texted her? I hate that excuse "I was drunk when I __________". Being drunk doesn't excuse amoral behavior. Questionable fashion decisions (lamp shade on the head, mixing plaid and polka dots), bad dancing, ok, you can blame that on the bottle, but cheating, lying, nope, sorry. Once he cheated on you, and with your BOSS yet, you should have written him off. He' a loose canon and will go off again. He's not a person you can trust.
You sound like you're kind of young, so learn now you should not mix your presonal life with your job. I know I had to learn that the hard way, and it sounds like you are learning that now. Move on and for goodness sakes don't repeat what happened all over the company. That's a sure fire way to make your boss mad and will backfire on you.
Comment: #3
Posted by: nanchan
Thu Dec 1, 2011 11:35 PM
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wkh, you nailed it. If the boyfriend got together with the boss after breaking up with the LW, it's not really her business. (Is it his business who she slept with during the time when they weren't together? Is it her boss's business who she's sleeping with? No? Then why is she so freaking indignant about what they did?)
Re: the boss and boyfriend telling her she is crazy, they may have a point. It's not so much what she discovered, and the conclusion she jumped to (which may be mistaken... there could be other explanations for his having the bag), but her confrontational and accusatory attitude. She sound extremely emotional, easily shocked senseless, and sees everything in terms of betrayal.
In what way, shape or form did her boss betray her? What kind of satisfaction is she hoping for now, for the boss to grovel and "confess her sins" to this weird and emotional employee? Is the trying to get them all to go into therapy together? She needs to get over it and get over herself and the notion that whatever happened between her EX boyfriend and her boss, DURING A TIME WHEN SHE WAS NOT WITH HIM, is none of her freakin business. Just shut up about it, stop acting like the star in a soap opera, and move on.
To LW2: okay, well, you know the solution. Lock up the supplies, or put up signs saying they cost money and aren't toys. But the clinic might want to provide some toys to keep the little ones entertained. (Or put up with the consequences if they're not.... bored kids often become screaming/crying/whining/acting out kids, when you take away the items the parents are using to distract them.) I'm curious by the way why you care so much about this issue. It sounds frankly like you have sibling issues you're projecting on your patients, or their parents...you're mad at seeing other people get away with things you're not allowed to. My advice would be to stop stressing about it. It really has nothing to do with you, now does it?
Comment: #4
Posted by: sarah morrow
Thu Dec 1, 2011 11:36 PM
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wkh, you nailed it. If the boyfriend got together with the boss after breaking up with the LW, it's not really her business. (Is it his business who she slept with during the time when they weren't together? Is it her boss's business who she's sleeping with? No? Then why is she so freaking indignant about what they did?)
Re: the boss and boyfriend telling her she is crazy, they may have a point. It's not so much what she discovered, and the conclusion she jumped to (which may be mistaken... there could be other explanations for his having the bag), but her confrontational and accusatory attitude. She sound extremely emotional, easily shocked senseless, and sees everything in terms of betrayal.
In what way, shape or form did her boss betray her? What kind of satisfaction is she hoping for now, for the boss to grovel and "confess her sins" to this weird and emotional employee? Is the trying to get them all to go into therapy together? She needs to get over it and get over herself and the notion that whatever happened between her EX boyfriend and her boss, DURING A TIME WHEN SHE WAS NOT WITH HIM, is none of her freakin business. Just shut up about it, stop acting like the star in a soap opera, and move on.
To LW2: okay, well, you know the solution. Lock up the supplies, or put up signs saying they cost money and aren't toys. But the clinic might want to provide some toys to keep the little ones entertained. (Or put up with the consequences if they're not.... bored kids often become screaming/crying/whining/acting out kids, when you take away the items the parents are using to distract them.) I'm curious by the way why you care so much about this issue. It sounds frankly like you have sibling issues you're projecting on your patients, or their parents...you're mad at seeing other people get away with things you're not allowed to. My advice would be to stop stressing about it. It really has nothing to do with you, now does it?
Comment: #5
Posted by: sarah morrow
Thu Dec 1, 2011 11:37 PM
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LW1 – So how is your relationship going now? Do you have total trust in your boyfriend, knowing how easily he is capable of lying to you? Texting your boss while you were still together, and telling her to not disclose this communication with you says that he knew what he was doing was wrong (don't care if he was drunk, not drunk enough to try to cover his tracks!) Good call in breaking it off with him! Then a few months later he apologized (true what happened during the break-up is none of your business – then why the lying and covering up, and calling you crazy regarding the overnight bag with your boss' name on it?) If he felt he did nothing wrong (and I'm not saying he did), then why not just come clean, instead of calling you crazy? It could have been a very innocent situation that occurred, but then, why the lack of an explanation? Great way to start the relationship anew – more distrust!
Your boss should never have become any more than that to you. If you are capable of maintaining a professional relationship with her, I see no reason for you to apply for a transfer; in fact, you never even suggested this as an option in your letter.
I would tread carefully with your relationship, take it slow, watch out for the signs, and if you do not find yourself in a situation where you trust him totally, this is not the relationship for you. Be grateful this occurred prior to marriage and children!
Comment: #6
Posted by: Jenna
Fri Dec 2, 2011 1:48 AM
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LW1 - I'm assuming she spent the night with him after you broke up with him. If that's the case, then it's none of your business. However...when he was your boyfriend, he texted her all night long and told her not to tell you. How many other women has he done that to while you two were together? I don't buy that "I was drunk" crap. I think you have a cheater for a boyfriend and I would dump him. And from now on, do not mix business with pleasure. It never ends well.
LW2 - I think putting up a sign is a good idea. If people are putting their hands in the tongue depressor jar, it's possible they're touching several or all of them. If they're the sick ones or have dirty hands, then the tongue depressors get germs or dirty and then they go inside someone else's mouth. It's a sanitary issue. If that doesn't work, definitly see if you can lock them up.
Comment: #7
Posted by: Michelle
Fri Dec 2, 2011 2:37 AM
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Re: sarah morrow If balloons are cheaper than the gloves, keep a supply of them and hand them to the mother to use to distract her children. Those long waits in the doctor's office are hard enough on adults. Kids get restless.
Comment: #8
Posted by: sarah stravinska
Fri Dec 2, 2011 2:53 AM
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Jenna: I can't speak for anyone else, but in my opinion, LW1 should move to another department because it seems as though the professional relationship has been compromised, by both the LW and her boss, and it would be better for all concerned for them to move on.
The relaionship between manager and worker is extremely important to productivity. At the base of this productivity is TRUST. (I referenced a book the other day that is excellent at descrbing this phenomena . the book is "the Speed of Trust" by Stephen Covey). When you have the type of relationship that the LW and her boss have had and accusations are flying and looks are being exhanged like "I think your crazy", then yes, I think you move on. That trust that needs to be there to help the business to succeed is gone in this case.
Also, the LW says she works for a "major corporation". In a big company, it is much easier to move around internally in this economy. If the LW had said she worked for a small company, that would have totally changed the dynamic in this letter. In a large company, it's highly likely that the LW can find another job fairly easily that will not mean daily interaction with her boss. In my opinion, IN MY OPINION ONLY, it seems like this would be best for the LW because the relationship is broken.
I'll bet the boss will be happy to see this LW go as well. Best for all concerned to make a new start.
Comment: #9
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Dec 2, 2011 4:14 AM
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sarah stravinska, you're right about the long waits.. A walk-in clinic -- you're probably getting parents who are bringing kids for urgent care (sprain, broken bone, stitches). Those parents tend to be focused more on getting the kid to help than they are preparing for a wait of unknown length in a small exam room that has no toys, books or TV to distract the kids. Most parents don't carry their own supply of distractions once they stop toting a diaper bag.
Walk-in clinics, by their unpredictable nature, often mean much longer waits than you'd find during business hours in a standard medical practice with appointments, and with an all-ages clientele, they're less tuned in to the special problems of treating kids. I am surprised that LW, as a mother herself, doesn't have a wee bit of sympathy for frightened kids in pain and parents trying to distract them while they wait who knows how long for medical help ("soon, hon, it won't be much longer before the doctor's here") -- but clearly she identifies more with her employer's needs than the patients'.
Balloons, though are a choking risk (uninflated or exploded balloon)-- and if the parent has given the 3 YO sib the balloon so she can concentrate on comforting the 7 Y0 who is sobbing in pain from a broken arm, that 3 YO could end up as her second emergency.
Instead, LW should you lock up the supplies AND collect toys as well as a few children's magazines and story books to keep in baskets for use in exam rooms when children come in. (And yes, you do need to clean/disinfect the toys regularly.)
Comment: #10
Posted by: hedgehog
Fri Dec 2, 2011 4:29 AM
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LW1--You need to know what to do? Uh, you dump your so called boyfriend for good this time and then you stop trying to play cupid at the office. A boss is not one of your girlfriends. She's your superior and she holds the fate of your career in your hands. While it's perfectly okay to be friendly with your boss, that's as far as it should ever go. It was a colossal mistake on your part to try to set her up in the first place; let her manage her own love life. This entire mess is your own doing. I hope you learned a valuable lesson. Keep your workplace professional and don't mix business with pleasure.
LW2--A medical facility's reception area is not a playroom and it's not the responsibility of such facilities to provide entertainment for peoples children. One would think parents would realize that and plan accordingly. Unfortunately, today's parents do whatever they can to ensure their children get whatever they want. That sense of entitlement pretty much sums it up. Couple this with the fact that common sense isn't as common as it used to be and you have a recipe for stupidity. I'm trying to envision your waiting room full of dopey parents trying to keep their out-of-control children quiet with puppets and balloons hastily fashioned from latex gloves, tongue depressors and cotton swabs. What you do is place the items out of reach of the general public. If that's not feasible you put a sign near the items stating clearly that they're the property of the clinic and not to be taken without authorization. If someone tries to help him or herself to the supplies in your presence you sharply rebuke them or you charge them for each item they take.
Comment: #11
Posted by: Chris
Fri Dec 2, 2011 4:44 AM
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Nanchan: You could very possibly be right. I didn't get the impression that the LW's work was compromised, but she did state that she likes her job. Considering the boss was the one to tell LW about the texts, there is no evidence that the boss actually did anything incorrect with the boyfriend, then or now. Maybe the LW “confronted” the boss in a matter that the boss thought was immature. There could be an honest explanation for the boyfriend having possession of the bag – who knows? But, if the LW really wanted to leave her position, and request a transfer, wouldn't she have mentioned this? But, as I said, you are offering another opinion (a very good one, in fact). Possibly it is now awkward for the LW, since she is back with her boyfriend.
Comment: #12
Posted by: Jenna
Fri Dec 2, 2011 4:50 AM
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LW1
You are hurt and confused because you trace this back to your altruistic attempts to be a matchmaker for your boss. You should leave the boss out of it and concentrate on your work during the work day. As to your relationship, it is time to dig deep with yourself and your boyfriend. If you are not heading in the same direction, it may be time to let each other go and take a permanent break.
```
Comment: #13
Posted by: Word A Day Mate
Fri Dec 2, 2011 5:45 AM
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LW2 could certainly put up a sign reminding people not to take things. She could also encourage the office manager to look at their scheduling practices, when they stick people in rooms, and how much time they are left to sit there waiting on the clinic staff. It's a walk in clinic so maybe they don't have as much control as a place with mostly appointments but the amount of time that even people with appointments, for which they are on time or early, spend waiting on medical staff in most offices is just ridiculous. My kids' appts with their pediatricians routinely took an hour from the time we walked in until we left the office, and that included about 10 minutes with a nurse, 5 - 10 minutes with a doctor, and a lot of waiting around in the examining room. Just because people have a medical license of one level or another, their time is not more important than everyone else's. I have indeed talked to my doctors about this, and in some cases, switched doctors. Some of them seem just stunned that anyone would even mention this to them.
Comment: #14
Posted by: kai archie
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:06 AM
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LW1: It took your boyfriend few months to tell you that he was drunk that night and apologize and you went back to him. It is obvious when you broke up with him the only thing on his mind was your boss. He got what he wanted. I think you are right in thinking that they were sleeping together. They are finished with the fun so he tried to be back with you till some other one comes along. You know what once someone has knowingly betrayed you whatever happens just keep them at a distance. If its required that you have to stay in touch its okay but no going back to old state. Regarding your boss the way you feel about her she does not. She is not obliged to not see your boyfriend but she knew what kind of person your boyfriend is still she chose him. Drop your boyfriend and be professional with your boss.
Comment: #15
Posted by: surefoot
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:07 AM
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Re: wkh
You're totally right. I missed where she said it happened while they were separated. Oops!
I do still think she and her boyfriend were not meant for each other (the texting at the beginning is what I'm referring to), and her boss' behaviour was unprofessional (sneaking around and sleeping with an employee's ex). But you're right, they were broken up, and technically it's not LW1's business what happened.
She should move on and get over it, but if she can't, she can still apply for a transfer. And dump the slimeball. It is entirely possible that he got back together with LW1 when he broke it off with the boss. Who knows.
On a related note, this is why I can't stand people who break up and get back together constantly, especially for reasons like infidelity (as opposed to, say, finishing college before committing) If it didn't work out the first time, why would it work out the second time? Or third, or tenth?
Comment: #16
Posted by: Zoe
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:33 AM
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re LW1 - I was waiting for the LW to end with, "and then Ashton Kutcher jumped out from behind a bush..." because she definitely got punked! She needs to find a new job and dump the boyfriend. She also needs to talk to HR and advise them of this problem because this is creating a hostile environment in the workplace like I have never seen before. Then she needs to give Jerry Springer a call.
Comment: #17
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:34 AM
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re LW2 - I would never consider using medical supplies to entertain my children. But, then again - our pediatricians waiting room is filled with toys and books. In addition, every room is decorated in a very kid pleasing way and each patient room has more children's books. We spend our time counting the monkeys on the wallpaper or reading books while waiting. Maybe if LW2 is so concerned about the cost of supplies, she can take the initiative to have kid friendly areas in the offices.
Comment: #18
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:44 AM
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Here's the thing with LW1 -- she's the one who crossed into inappropriate territory when she tried to set up her boss on a date. Unless you are unusually close friends with your boss -- like, going out to lunches together, going shopping after work together, hanging out sometimes on the weekends together -- then she presumed a little bit too much on the employee-manager relationship right there.
And then everything else spilled out of control. The boss and BF shouldn't have texted while BF was still together with LW1. What happened after the breakup isn't LW1's business.
Nobody here ends up looking like a winner. LW1 should ditch the BF *and* should seek a transfer or promotion, since its unlikely she'll be able to continue working for this boss without this issue in the back of her mind. (I'd suggest she "get over it", but her letter indicates she's not likely to do that.)
It's dangerous to mix your personal and work life together too intimately unless you have built up a very solid friendship with your co-worker or boss, one that has already been tested outside the workplace.
LW2: Big signs on the doors to the cabinets should resolve the issue. If not, lock them or move them to a less-easily-reached cabinet. (Seems like the LW here just wanted to complain about the behavior, since the solution seems obvious).
Comment: #19
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:45 AM
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Mike: A really good boss and one that was professional, would not have allowed herself to be in a relationship with the LW that crossed those boundaries.
IMO, the boss is also at fault. She should never have sent her picture to be set up on a date, she should never have crossed the line between boss and friend HERSELF. Even going to lunches etc. regularly with one employee in particular is unprofessional. can you imagine being one of the other people in that department? the relationship screams HR violations from here to Sunday!
I agree with the rest of your post, which pretty much mirrors most of the other posts here as well.
Comment: #20
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:58 AM
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@Mike H and everyone else who keeps blaming LW1 - I don't know why everyone keeps saying that she crossed in to dangerous territory with her boss. While that is true, it does take two to tango. The boss is the one that was entrusted to a leadership role by their employer and the onous is much more on her shoulders to avoid building relationships that cross lines with her subordinates. In a mega company, I would assume that there is a well-formed HR department in place and leadership training is most like mandatory when someone is placed in a supervisory role. So while LW1 should take away an important lesson from all of this - I am sure that boss breached boundaries that could have ramifications on her own career should HR become aware of this situation.
In addition, this boss has proven herself to be exceedingly self-centered and less than trustworthy. If she is willing to involve herself is something as sordid as this - how can you trust that she has any scruples in other areas. Will she steal your ideas? Take credit for your work? Throw you under the boss when she is on the hot seat? This is not the person I would want to look to for leadership at work. I would find another job, ASAP.
Comment: #21
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:58 AM
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I meant "throw you under the bus" not "boss", LOL
Comment: #22
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:01 AM
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LW1-
What do you need to do? You need to find yourself a new boss and a new boyfriend and leave the two of them to each other. Birds of a feather f*** together. And you need to stop playing shadkhen at your office. As I hope you've learned from this little incident, office and private lives always don't match well.
P.S.: Please don't fall for the "I was drunk" excuse in the future. Swallowing that yurunda means putting up with all kinds of unacceptable behaviours, allegedly because he was "drunk".
P.P.S.: Get yourself tested. Who knows who else he boinked while he was "drunk"? A few months' iatus can mean quite a few binges.
@wkh
As woman, she should have known better than to jump in the sack with someone close to her the minute he was "available", particularly someone she spends 8 hours a day with. That was unwise and unprofessional to say the least. He was fair game indeed to a perfect stranger - but not to her.
And that is about the overnight stay - before that, she accepted his all-night texting, knowing he was still with her. Yes, she DID betray her as well, although not as much as the boyfriend - technically.
It's not like the two of them fell in love across a crowded room and "it just happened". She just wanted to get laid. She should have waited to make sure the breakup was final - and it wasn't. And even then, it would have been... highly unsavory. And she knows it, the proof of which, she couldn't look her in the eye when confronted.
LW2-
Yes, a lot of people these days are mannerless and entitled, but what are sterile supplies doing in a place that is highly accessible to UNWASHED hands, free to be contaminated by every bacteria and virus these sick people are coming to the doctor about? Put them away, for Christ's sake, and kwityerbeefin', the first fault was yours.
And the second as well: you'll supply waiting adults with 2 year old magazines, well guess what, the kids need something too. Get yourself to the local thrift shop and buy some used toys and books.
Comment: #23
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:03 AM
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Re LW#1-------totally agree with the posters who said the "I was drunk" excuse is baloney.
Being drunk does not change your moral character---------------it only lessens the inhibitions you have when you are sober (you know, the "I'd really like to do that but what would people think of me?" thing.)
If you are not a cheater, you will not cheat even when drunk. If you ARE a cheater, you will cheat when drunk and try to use the drunkenness as an excuse if you get caught.
Wouldn't work with me---------------------being drunk is not a 'mitigating circumstance'.
If anything, it is the opposite. I get furious when I hear people use it as an excuse. If you are someone who will do morally questionable things when you drink, then DON'T DRINK. Or at least don't expect that excuse to work with me.
It is a cop-out and I really hate it when I hear someone excuse bad behavior with "He (or she) was drunk and would not have done that sober." Baloney------------of course he would, if he wasn't afraid of getting caught.
Comment: #24
Posted by: jennylee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:34 AM
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The Annie's are WAY wrong on this one. You need to end it with your boyfriend NOW, and start looking for another job NOW. The amount of betrayal they've heaped on you is something that goes beyond forgiving, moving on, putting it behind you, whatever you want to call it. If they are both calling you crazy, what hope is there? Introduce yourself to your dignity, become best friends with it, and move on to better boyfriends, and better bosses. Oh--and keep your professional relationships completely separate from your dating life from now on.
Comment: #25
Posted by: deb
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:36 AM
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@Deb - "Introduce yourself to your dignity" .... I like it!
Comment: #26
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:40 AM
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@sharnee, @nanchan -- agreed, that's why I said "nobody here ends up looking like a winner".
But the seed that sprouted this twisted, tangled mess was LW1's. It *was* a mistake, and one she doesn't seem to understand. Sure, it's a relatively small mistake compared with some of the later ones, but frankly she's not going to learn her lesson if she doesn't acknowledge her own part in this mess.
Boss shouldn't have texted with the BF, and shouldn't have dated BF after the breakup with LW1, but LW1 had no claim on BF after the breakup, so that's not the worst mistake in the world, either. BF was a cad, certainly, and it's a bit shocking she took him back at all, and the relationship is likely doomed to fail.
But, hey, LW1 *did* say she wanted to fix up her boss, even if it didn't happen in the way she intended! Perhaps the lesson here is: Be careful what you wish for.
There is an inherent danger in mixing your personal life too much with your work life, and doubly so when you are getting personally involved with your boss. That's something that a more experienced adult would likely already know, but it sounds as if LW1 is young, and maybe this is her time to learn this lesson.
No one here is innocent, and some indiscretions may be worse than others, but none of it would have happened if it weren't for LW1's original actions. I think that's something that is important for her to recognize in order to avoid a repeat (or at least a similar problem) in the future.
Comment: #27
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Dec 2, 2011 8:24 AM
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@Mike H- Yes, LW1 did cross a line to fix up the boss. But I doubt that she would have done this out of the blue if a personal relationship between the two hadn't already been established. Everyone is wrong - but this is not LW1's fault. A manager who behaves in a professional manner would have squelched the notion of a relationship of this nature with her subordinate long ago. She would have found a very firm yet diplomatic way to decline being "fixed up" by her employee in a way that made it clear that this was inappropriate behavior. The role of a "boss" is not simply supervisory - it is to mentor their subordinates. It was liiterally her JOB to redirect this employee so as to avoid precisely ugly, uncomfortable situations like this one and keep the focus on productivity.
I agree, the LW1 needs to understand boundaries and this is a difficult lesson to swallow. But let's not be too hard on her -
Comment: #28
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 8:45 AM
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Getting ready to go to hubby's company Christmas party, waiting for nails to dry.
Hey nanchan, we're having Grunkohl, pinkel, kochwurst and salz kartoffeln, Yum !!
LW 1 - Dump BF, get tested, look for a different job within the company or leave the company.
LW 2 - Put up a sign which reads :
PLEASE, DO NOT TOUCH !
FOR STAFF USE ONLY !
simple as that
Comment: #29
Posted by: Gwen
Fri Dec 2, 2011 8:46 AM
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Mike: One of the reasons I did not agree with Zoe about going to HR with this whole cluster ____ situation is that yes, they are both to blame.
You don't seem to be willing to admit that her boss was out of bounds here, but I certainly think the boss had a HUGE part in this. sharnee put it very well. My extra take on this is that (oh man, please God don't strike me down with a thunderbolt!) sometimes a dynamic happens when women report to women that is almost impossible for a man to understand.
The LW' s boss was clearly breaking many of the rules that sharnee describes goes into every big company's manager's training. I would be willing to bet that the boss is a NEW boss. No seasoned boss allows this type of behavior unless they are incredibly insecure. Either way, the relationship between the two is not acceptable, they are BOTH to blame, and they need to sit in different departments since apparently they can't play nice together.
Sheesh.
Comment: #30
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Dec 2, 2011 9:09 AM
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Just to be clear, I didn't mean "go to HR and rat our your boss", I meant "go to HR and request a transfer"
Comment: #31
Posted by: Zoe
Fri Dec 2, 2011 9:35 AM
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@nanchan, but nowhere did I suggest the boss was IN bounds, either, though. The boss didn't write in, however. The LW did.
In my first post I suggested the LW should switch jobs, that nobody in the situation was a winner, and that the boss was wrong to text the BF.
In my second post I also acknowledged that the LW's wrong isn't necessarily the largest wrong in this scenario, and that the boss was wrong to text and to date the BF, even in spite of the breakup.
So there's nothing in what I said that suggests I *don't* think the boss was out of bounds.
But the boss didn't write the Annies, so the majority of my remarks are directed at the LW. She's the one seeking advice, and she can only control her own actions, now and in the future. She can't do anything about what her boss and her BF did, or what they do in the future.
There *is* a lesson or two here for the LW to learn. Simply jumping on the bandwagon to slam the BF and the boss without pointing out the parts of this situation that WERE under the LW's control may make her feel better, but that won't do anything to help her avoid similar situations in the future.
Now, if the *boss* had written in, I probably would have a lot more to say about the issue, as a long-time manager myself. But that, frankly, seems tangential to me in light of the LW being the employee, not the boss.
But, sure, I won't disagree the boss was out of line.
Comment: #32
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Dec 2, 2011 9:58 AM
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LW2
I too am a nurse and work in a pediatric office. We have had the same issues with gloves, tongue depressors and othe medical supplies. Our solution? ALL of our cabinets are now locked. Now we often times find our patients PARENT trying to figure out how they can get these cbinets open. we even have patients who have complained that they couldnt find the gloves. When asked why belive it or not they wanted to "take a few pairs home" to use while cleaning. My response "i'm sorry but we do not give medical supplies away, they are too costly" we have had stethocopes, otoscopes and even thermometers stolen if they are not locked up. Is our office in a bad are, heck no the majority of our patients are well-to-do orthodox jewish patients. we have BOXES of childrens books that are continuously rotated so the kids always find something different and the magazines in our office are never more than 3 months old. The bottom line there are very few people left in this worl with manners. They all have a sense of entitlement and are passing this behavior down to their children. I was brought up to never take anything unless it is offered to me and to always show respect to my elders. I have taught my children the same. Maybe I'm old fashioned at 40 but when i was a child i would never look to take anything out of the doctors office and my mother wouldnt even think of opening a cabinet while we were there. Our current society is shameful.
Comment: #33
Posted by: Kim G
Fri Dec 2, 2011 10:05 AM
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Here are a couple of examples of where you made your stance known:
"Here's the thing with LW1 -- she's the one who crossed into inappropriate territory when she tried to set up her boss on a date" post 19. No, Mike. Sorry. the BOSS crossed into inappropriate territory when she allowed a subordinate to even suggest that. A real boss, such as sharnee mentions, would have said, this is WRONG, I won't do this, thanks, but no thanks. Not to say that the LW is innocent here, but the boss, as any person in a position of authority should do, had the obligation and responsibility to stop the bad behavior.
" But the seed that sprouted this twisted, tangled mess was LW1's." post 27. A manager is RESPONSIBLE for behavior that happens in their department on their watch. For EVERYONE involved.
The boss fell down, it doesn' matter who wrote in. If I was a co-worker in that org, I'd be pi$$ed to have to be a part of what another commenter called a Soap Opera.
And that is ABSOLUTELY the responsibility of management to stop. And not to encourage or be a part of.
Comment: #34
Posted by: nanchan
Fri Dec 2, 2011 10:47 AM
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LW1 - Dump the boyfriend since he's just a horndog and untrustworthy. Then, do the best you can at work until you can change that situation. Then, never, ever, ever under any circumstances get all up in your boss' biniss. Not a good idea and you're the poster child for that.
LW2 - So if those people will just stop playing with tongue depressors my medical bills wiill go down. Sweet! I hope you're done venting and feel better. By the way, it's been that way since tongue depressors, cotton swabs and latex gloves were invented. I worked in peds clinic and that activity actually released some anxiety on the part of the kids. It's not that big a deal.
Comment: #35
Posted by: Rick
Fri Dec 2, 2011 11:46 AM
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@nanchan, I do think you're reading much more into my responses than you should. My focus on the LW is based on helping her with what she can control, which is just her own actions. The boss behaving as poorly as she did doesn't negate the fact that the personal fraternization began with the LW. None of the further events would have happened otherwise. She did start the ball rolling, by her own admission, and that was a mistake.
I think it's a bad idea to try to give the LW a completely free pass on this, even if she's not responsible for the worst of the problem.
That's not in any way suggesting that I think the boss did a good thing, or that she shouldn't bear a large part of the responsibility. I'm simply choosing to focus on the LW and where this all started, so that she can learn what's appropriate and what's not in the working world.
Employees getting too involved in each other's personal lives is a tried-and-true recipe for trouble in the workplace, and LW1 needs to learn that lesson to avoid future drama. My stating this fact, though, in no way lets the boss off the hook, -- and I'm sorry that you've read it that way.
Comment: #36
Posted by: Mike H
Fri Dec 2, 2011 12:07 PM
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The boss of said employee status creates the pyramid of control. The boss is the top at work, they should be equal once leaving the workplace. Alas, LW1 WANTED TO SET BOSS UP with friend. Mistake #1. Not a work place function. Passing photo to BF phone was mistake #2, if YOU were setting up someone, it should have come from you. Bet he did not pass it to the friend either.
BF upon making up washed your laundry and returned it in WHAT HE KNEW WAS the boss's bag, wanting confrontation over said issues. He thinks he has you by the short hairs at home and your boss has you by the same short hairs at work. Either way, home life should not enter work and visaversa. Doing so, you can indeed go to HR to have issues resolved on the work level. Conflict of interest, or what ever, make the request to department move. I would also ask HR if this does not resolve, what the next step would be. Do not offer to resign. If they ask you to, etc check with your state unemployement to see if you would get benefits. Cover your butt. Could be company rules you have both stepped beyond or just one of the two.
Ditch the cheating BF asap. A skunk smell is still the skunk, no matter what costume he wears. And he has stink all over him self. DO you think you are owed HIM? Then find some self esteem. Self worth.
Do not becomes friends with your bosses---unless you were friends before you became an employee. Good working relationships count on leaving personal issues out of the work day.
Comment: #37
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Fri Dec 2, 2011 1:01 PM
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To baffled nurse. I keep a pack of crayons in the glove box. Always there for appts at the clinic. Use the paper on the table to be the art board. TIC TACK TOE, etc. I have had the doctor cut off part of it and hang it up on the wall. Kids are happy. So am I.
Comment: #38
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Fri Dec 2, 2011 1:03 PM
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Keeping boxes of books, toys available--ensures do to germs passing on from child to child a return visit from the family. I know disinfection does not take place between patients. Why let your kids play with something with potential active germs on. Boogers anyone?
Comment: #39
Posted by: Joyce/MN
Fri Dec 2, 2011 1:09 PM
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@Joyce re post #39 - that is a good point, but my doctor's office accounts for that as well. At both their locations they have their offices set up to have two entrances - one for sick appointments - that is a waiting room for sick kids - complete with toys and books that they routinely disinfect. Then they have the well entrance - designated for check-ups and other "well visits". This is also equiped with toys and books. The receptions sit in an area that is in the middle of both rooms - the wall on either side is a half wall so the receptionists can interact with patients and parents in either room. This doctor's offices are a little out of the way for me, but I love them because not only did they design their sweets to be kid friendly and accomodating, the doctors and staff embrace that same value.
Comment: #40
Posted by: sharnee
Fri Dec 2, 2011 3:40 PM
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Rick, I'm with you. It sounds like the nurse is overworked and uptight. If my kid is screaming with a broken limb and a hand balloon calms him down, and the nurse told me not to use the gloves for his entertainment, I would have shoved the glove up her ass.
Comment: #41
Posted by: happymom
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:19 PM
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Re: nanchan
"No seasoned boss allows this type of behavior unless they are incredibly insecure"
Yes, and incredibly insensitive and self-centred as well - she doesn't care one whit about what harm she would be doing (potentially to herself as well as to others), she only cared about getting her nookie.
I think what MikeH really meant is that, while what the boss did was far more of a professional transgression than the LW's mistake, the LW's mistake, much milder as it was, was still the first domino that triggered the fall of bigger ones in its wake.
@Sharnee
Post #40
Now, that is a rare place - unfortunately.
Comment: #42
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:30 PM
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I have to agree with Mike H that the LW is largely responsibility for this entire mess, but Mike, I have to wonder what tone the manager was setting that the LW would even consider initiating this kind of conduct. I have been working in the corporate world for quite a few years, now for one of the ten largest corporations in the US. I have had my share of good and bad managers. The manager sets the tone, and if the manager comes across as needy, and even superficially discusses his/her personal life in terms more personal than, "I had a great weekend," and "How about those ______ ", the manager is wrong. That is not to say that I have never seen subordinates spot that managerial weakness and use it to their own advantage, up to the point of carrying on personal relationships (not sexual) to absurd extremes including babysitting the manager's child and more sucking up to the point that the manager would have an extremely impossible time if he ever needed to discipline said employee. They are both wrong.
Comment: #43
Posted by: Carly O
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:31 PM
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happymom:
If your child has a broken limb, then you go to the ER, not a walk in clinic. The LW's letter stated a child running around the room, not writhing in pain.
Those things would add up if most of the parents allowed it, medical costs are bad enough aren't they?
I just don't think she's overreacting, given how others have talked about the sense of entitlement that abounds.
Comment: #44
Posted by: jar8818
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:38 PM
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happymon,
If my child were screaming with a broken limb, I would not be resorting to hand balloons to deflect/relieve his pain. Not a very effective solution, and I would be chasing down the people who could help him. I daresay that if you tried to shove anything up anyone's ass, you would be arrested. Perhaps you are speaking figuratively, (I hope), but if you behaved that way, you would not be helping your child.
Comment: #45
Posted by: Carly O
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:39 PM
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LW1- I wasn't able to read all of the posts, but Sharnee said it best from what I could see...
Am I the only one who thinks the boss played the lw? The boyfriend texts the boss all night long and then the boss showed the lw the texts. I cannot give the boss much credit for showing the lw this, cause this means the boss was also texting boyfriend all night long. This is the equivalent of someone kissing your boyfriend and then telling you about it... yeah, sure, it is nice for the person to let you know the guy is a scum bag, but the girl who lets you know is just as guilty and just as much a scum bag. It sounds to me like the boss wanted the boyfriend and perhaps told the lw about the texts in hopes of driving a wedge between them so she could get the guy. Then when her plan works, she swoops in and takes the now ex boyfriend.
I would not want a leader like this. Either get transferred within the company or find another job. Oh, and re-dump the boyfriend. It sounds like him and your boss were made for each other.
Comment: #46
Posted by: Maria
Fri Dec 2, 2011 6:57 PM
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On a side note, I have never seen gloves and tongue depressors used as toys. Bottom line, they are not toys. They are medical equipments. To top it off, it does not belong to you. It belongs to the hospital.
This stuff may not cost a lot of money, but it does add up very quickly. Hospitals & clinics go through gloves left and right since employees must change their gloves with each patient. If parents & children start using them as toys, then it will only add it up quicker. This stuff costs money. In order to cover the extra cost, hospitals will either have to increase the cost of care, or take it out on their employees, meaning less raises, cutting salaries, hiring less employees, etc. There are repercussions of your actions when you waste a companies supplies... though you may not be the one to pay for it. More than likely, it will be the employees through loss of wages and jobs. Also, you are further polluting the environment by being wasteful with latex (gloves) supplies.
Be a parent and find a different way to entertain your child. Read a book to the kid or interact with the chlid yourself or something. Don't waste supplies.
Comment: #47
Posted by: Maria
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:09 PM
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Of COURSE I was speaking figuratively, but I see you got my point. A walk in clinic handles everything under the sun, and the only thing that gets her nurses cap in a knot are rubber glove balloons?! (I agree with the forum about tounge depressors and anything that ends with the word "scope"...eww) The parents who take their children to clinics are not there because it's fun. They can wait for hours with sick children who are miserable, crabby, fidgety, and sometimes, barfing their brains out, and parents in that situation don't think ahead of time to pack a living room's worth of entertainment for them before they leave. It's not like they are taking the gloves out of her paycheck, for Pete's sake, an she needs to simply do her job of taking care of the patients than fretting over something so stupid. I could see if they ran out of the examining room, getting in the way of the health care staff trying to do thier jobs, but gloves? Give me a break. A rubber glove used to comfort a miserable child is not going to raise the cost of health care, and if it does, we apparently don't have our priorities straight. If she's that steamed over it, put them in a cabinet or put up a sign.
Sorry if I popped off like I did. Too much caffiene and an extremely stressful day at work. I'll be nicer next time. I'll try green tea from now on. Maybe. It really angers me, however, that someone who helps heal people for a living can't see past the stupid rubber glove balloon and see the exausted and sometimes scared parent who is using it.
Comment: #48
Posted by: happymom
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:21 PM
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happymom,
I appreciate what you said and I understand. That being said, children did not always require "a living rooom's worth of entertainment" to be able to wait to get medical treatment. Parents should be prepared to entertain their own children with at least a few toys and books at all times. And children should get some down time to learn to entertain themselves if need be. No matter what you say, medical supplies should not be used for entertainment of the child no matter what the cost. Soothing your child is your job and you should be prepared to do so because you never know what might happen if you are on the road, or in any kind of bad situation You are raising more of the entitled generation that raised you.
Comment: #49
Posted by: Carly O
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:40 PM
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Sorry if this is a double post. Didn't see the first one:
Of COURSE I was speaking figuratively, but I see you got my point. A walk in clinic handles everything under the sun, and the only thing that gets her nurses cap in a knot are rubber glove balloons?! (I agree with the forum about tounge depressors and anything that ends with the word "scope"...eww) The parents who take their children to clinics are not there because it's fun. They can wait for hours with sick children who are miserable, crabby, fidgety, and sometimes, barfing their brains out, and parents in that situation don't think ahead of time to pack a living room's worth of entertainment for them before they leave. It's not like they are taking the gloves out of her paycheck, for Pete's sake, an she needs to simply do her job of taking care of the patients than fretting over something so stupid. I could see if they ran out of the examining room, getting in the way of the health care staff trying to do thier jobs, but gloves? Give me a break. A rubber glove used to comfort a miserable child is not going to raise the cost of health care, and if it does, we apparently don't have our priorities straight. If she's that steamed over it, put them in a cabinet or put up a sign.
Sorry if I popped off like I did. Too much caffiene and an extremely stressful day at work. I'll be nicer next time. I'll try green tea from now on. Maybe. It really angers me, however, that someone who helps heal people for a living can't see past the stupid rubber glove balloon and see the exausted and sometimes scared parent who is using it.
Comment: #50
Posted by: happymom
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:43 PM
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WTH?! First my post shows up, and then it disappears! Here's the same one, again, sorry.
Of COURSE I was speaking figuratively, but I see you got my point. A walk in clinic handles everything under the sun, and the only thing that gets her nurses cap in a knot are rubber glove balloons?! (I agree with the forum about tounge depressors and anything that ends with the word "scope"...eww) The parents who take their children to clinics are not there because it's fun. They can wait for hours with sick children who are miserable, crabby, fidgety, and sometimes, barfing their brains out, and parents in that situation don't think ahead of time to pack a living room's worth of entertainment for them before they leave. It's not like they are taking the gloves out of her paycheck, for Pete's sake, an she needs to simply do her job of taking care of the patients than fretting over something so stupid. I could see if they ran out of the examining room, getting in the way of the health care staff trying to do thier jobs, but gloves? Give me a break. A rubber glove used to comfort a miserable child is not going to raise the cost of health care, and if it does, we apparently don't have our priorities straight. If she's that steamed over it, put them in a cabinet or put up a sign.
Sorry if I popped off like I did. Too much caffiene and an extremely stressful day at work. I'll be nicer next time. I'll try green tea from now on. Maybe. It really angers me, however, that someone who helps heal people for a living can't see past the stupid rubber glove balloon and see the exausted and sometimes scared parent who is using it.
Comment: #51
Posted by: happymom
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:45 PM
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happymom,
Honestly, I hear what you are saying. But lately it seems that parents are not teaching their children any boundaries any longer, and that lack of parental authority can get dangerous. What if you had your child at the dentist's office, and while waiting for the dentist, your bored child decided it would be fun to play with the drill? Who knows what damage could be done. I think the nurse is justifiably upset that some parents are not treating the medical facility as a medical facility and not some kind of playground. If you choose to have children, you need to man up and take care of them and teach them boundaries. If you have to work too hard to afford them comfortable, don't have them.
Comment: #52
Posted by: Carly O
Fri Dec 2, 2011 7:58 PM
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Okay, I wasn't going to be so blunt about this, but happymom, you are defending an action that is, to be frank, unjustifiable. If an employee gives it to you or says it is fine, then that is one thing, but to just take the gloves, etc, without permission... don't you realize what that is?
Are the gloves in the "kids' section"? No. Does it have a "free take one" sign? No. Are they there for the use of kids and patients? No, they are there for the employees. It is employee supplies. Do you honestly believe they can use it after a kid plays with it? No, because it is then dirty since the kid most probably dropped it on the ground, stuck it in the mouth, etc. Do you know what it is called when you take something that is not yours without permission? It is called STEALING. Of course they are not going to press charges even if you leave the building with it because it is gloves, but it is still stealing.
Other forms of stealing people commonly do without thinking about it: taking two or three newspapers from the vending machine when they only paid for one, when at a fast food restaurant getting a soda from the fountain when they asked for a water cup, downloading free music, etc.
Practically everyone does it, yes. But this does not change the fact all of this is STEALING. This does not make it right. If you want to continue doing it, fine, but stop trying to justify your actions like they are right.
Comment: #53
Posted by: Maria
Fri Dec 2, 2011 8:18 PM
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@Maria
Re LW1-
Yeah, I DO think the boss played the LW - now that you mention it. Sure looks like she was trying to show the LW what a scumbag the boyfriend was, as in, please throw him to the curb so I can recycle him up before the garbage truck rolls by - how very considerate her.
Comment: #54
Posted by: Lise Brouillette
Fri Dec 2, 2011 10:11 PM
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In the biz where I work, the boss would lose her job for sleeping with a subordinate's boyfriend.
Comment: #55
Posted by: Roger
Fri Dec 2, 2011 11:38 PM
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As a mother of two young boys, I have spent many hours in a doctor's office. I have spent up to 45 min in the waiting room and then another 45 in the exam room waiting for the doctor. And this is common for us. Most of the time I do bring something for them to do (snacks, toys, games, books) , but 1.5 hours of entertainment can be hard to come up with and when they are sick it is usually a last minute rush to the office. I have used those supplies, at a $250 per visit I feel I can use two gloves to keep my kids from screaming and fighting. I have had doctors tell me thank you for keeping them quiet while we waited. If I could get in to my appointments when I scheduled them, there would be no need to pull out all the stops. Give parents a break, some my be too poor to have extra items to bring, too sick, too tired and more. I would suggest items in the room that can be quickly sanitized, it is hard work to keep young ones quiet, calm and not scared in a small room for long periods of time. If there was a sign or something along those lines I would leave it alone. But you would have to put up with me chewing my kids out, them yelling at each other and me be beyond grumpy when the doctor came in, which would probably make my kids less likely to cooperate.
Comment: #56
Posted by: Stephanie
Sun Dec 4, 2011 11:58 AM
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re LW2: These gloves and tongue depressors are in the exam room, not the waiting room, right? The easiest solution would be to not bring patients into the exam room until they are ready to be examined. I hate it when I go to a doctor, and I sit in the waiting room for 15 minutes, then get taken into an exam room and sit in there for another 30 minutes. Why do they do that? There's usually magazines (and I imagine toys in a pediatrician's office) in the waiting room. Stop taking people into exam rooms half an hour or more before the doctor is ready to see them!
Comment: #57
Posted by: TJ
Mon Dec 5, 2011 4:59 AM
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I have a comment about the Dr. office, and small children. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep pre-school children entertained, in a room the size of a clost for the hour that you park us there? Be happy that I did not let my kid rip apart everything in the damn room.
Comment: #58
Posted by: cari
Tue Dec 6, 2011 6:32 AM
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