The Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate

Where The Rubber Meets The Toad for 07/07/2009

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of eight months is 38, with two kids. I'm 27 and divorced. He has unofficially moved into my apartment, but he isn't pulling his weight. He pays $500 a month in child support and $400 for his apartment — that he doesn't live in. (All of his utilities were shut off for nonpayment.) I understand that he doesn't have money to throw around, and help him financially whenever he ne ...

Updated: Tue Jul 07, 2009

Can't Get There From Hair for 07/14/2009

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My first wife and I married in our early 20s and broke up several years later. When we were married, she had very short hair, even though I wanted her to grow it long. She was not only adamant about keeping it short; she claimed she couldn't get it past "the awkward stage." Also, she'd always bite her nails, a habit that annoyed me. I've been happily married to my second wife for 10 y ...

Updated: Tue Jul 14, 2009

Bed Lieutenant for 07/21/2009

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I'm 34; my husband of a year is 28. We didn't live together or have sex before marrying because I have a child and didn't feel this was appropriate behavior to model. We did discuss sex to figure out whether we'd be sexually compatible. He was fairly inexperienced, but sex is now all he wants and talks about, and he's constantly groping me. I enjoy sex and am fine having it every other day, but ...

Updated: Tue Jul 21, 2009

Wimp My Ride for 07/28/2009

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I've often had a woman sit across from me on some form of a date and tell me she just broke up with her boyfriend and isn't interested in getting involved. That's usually followed by how she's too busy with work, lacks the emotional energy for a relationship, etc. This time, the woman was on our charity bike ride planning committee. I was testing the course, and she asked to ride with me. Durin ...

Updated: Tue Jul 28, 2009

Buy Sexual for 08/04/2009

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend of a year is wonderful, intelligent, kind, and hilarious. He told me he'd never been in love until meeting me, and while he'd had more sex partners than he'd like to admit, before me, it was all meaningless. Then, yesterday, I read an article about a prostitution ring, and asked how prostitutes can advertise without getting arrested. He explained how escort services work — wi ...

Updated: Tue Aug 04, 2009

Buddy Language for 08/11/2009

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I have such a crush on my co-worker that I actually have to bite down on my lips to keep them from quivering while we talk. Although he seems to enjoy talking with me, he hasn't expressed any interest. I've tried avoiding him and denying my feelings, but I just start obsessing — thinking he's shy, or we don't talk enough, or I get too nervous and he doesn't see the real me. Or, maybe he's ...

Updated: Tue Aug 11, 2009

Gawking Tall for 08/18/2009

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

You were too conventional when you said that a man who is in a relationship but stares at other women is rude. I want a woman who is sexually loyal, but who stares as hard as she wants at men she finds appealing, and I will do the same (with women). It's a way to have fun together, to have life be an uninhibited overflowing of joy. I have no desire to actually have sex with another woman, but m ...

Updated: Tue Aug 18, 2009

Squeak Truth To Power for 08/25/2009

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:00:00 -0700

An incident with a bodyworker and another with my husband have me questioning everything. Upon entering the bodyworker's apartment, you see a bunch of nude photos of him. He makes you strip to your underwear and stand there while he "evaluates" your body structure. Later, you get on your hands and knees in your panties so he "can work on your back." I know of two women he of ...

Updated: Tue Aug 25, 2009

Dun Juan for 09/01/2009

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

I always recommend your column; however, I take issue with your slamming "Joe Spokes" for not directly asking out the girl in his bike group. Besides, only a fool would take a woman on a date and pay. It takes discipline, but if I invite a woman out, I ask her in advance to pay her way. This helps me weed women out. If they just want a free meal, they can go to the homeless shelter, a ...

Updated: Tue Sep 01, 2009

Getting To No Him for 09/08/2009

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

This man I "met" on a dating website had issues with my refusing to give him my number. Initially, we had nice rapport via e-mail, despite his failing to pay attention (asking if I'd been married when I'd already mentioned my divorce lawyer). He apologized and gave me his number, hoping to talk and meet. I told him I'd call, but kept getting busy. Several days later, I called but miss ...

Updated: Tue Sep 08, 2009

Boy Meeks Girl for 09/15/2009

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Recently, you wrote about "female flirting moves recognized across cultures" — smiling, making eye contact and looking away, toying with hair or objects, and touching a guy's arm. I disagree about them being "recognized." Female employers have made eye contact and even smiled, but that didn't mean they wanted a romantic relationship. If a woman toys with an object, it ...

Updated: Tue Sep 15, 2009

Seitan Worshipper for 09/22/2009

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My online dating profile clearly indicates that I'm a vegan. A woman I've been communicating with informed me that she eats a healthy diet, but enjoys meat and fish. Fine with me, but our first phone conversation became an inquisition about whether I would attempt to make her a vegetarian. She compared it to trying to convert someone to another religion. She got intense about it, despite my ins ...

Updated: Tue Sep 22, 2009

Milked And Honey for 09/29/2009

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My girlfriend of two years just left me, saying she'd fallen out of love. Prior to leaving, she moved into my condo as part of our long-term plan to buy a house together. She insisted on many renovations, and I went along to make her happy. I put in $5,000, we borrowed $15,000 from my grandmother, and we both signed a contract to pay her back. Now she's gone, with $800 she cleaned out of our jo ...

Updated: Tue Sep 29, 2009

Beached Wail for 10/06/2009

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My boyfriend and I have a year-old son. His two small boys (from a previous marriage) live with us on weekends. A while back, he cheated and gave me herpes. Had I not been pregnant with our son (unplanned), I would've left him. But, I believe once you're pregnant, it's not about you, so I'm trying to make it work. But, I hold grudges and haven't been able to forgive him. Also, his parents, who ...

Updated: Tue Oct 06, 2009

Lien On Me for 10/13/2009

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My 31-year-old boyfriend has the best clothes, cars, electronics, takes me to the nicest restaurants...you get the picture. He told me he was "an investor," working for himself, making online investments. I eventually asked how he could afford his lifestyle in this economy. He said he "comes from money," and has a trust fund. To me, the fact that his father's a doctor only c ...

Updated: Tue Oct 13, 2009

Gift Hearse for 10/20/2009

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

Several years ago, this co-worker I was interested in was always stopping by my desk to talk, so I gave her some turtle earrings (they related to a story she once told me). I guess I was trying to tell her I was interested, but she was leaving for two months, so it didn't make sense to ask how she felt about me. A year later, if only to find out what her intentions were, I finally asked her out ...

Updated: Tue Oct 20, 2009

Sleeping Booty for 10/27/2009

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700

My girlfriend snooped through my belongings and e-mail and even searched web forums for my comments. I feel terribly violated. I'm 29, she's 37, and we've been together for two years. I've never given her any reason to distrust me, but because we've only been having sex once a month as of recently, she assumes I'm cheating. Well, both of my parents died six months ago (both were terminally ill) ...

Updated: Tue Oct 27, 2009

For Better Or Much, Much Better for 11/03/2009

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

I'm 39, and married four years to a woman I dated for two. She's the mother of my two stepchildren, 13 and 16. The problem is, I may be in love with a girl from high school, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I've always felt she was the one I was meant to be with. She was popular, and, well, I was not. Still, I can't honestly say that if I'd asked her out, she'd have said no. I wrote her ...

Updated: Tue Nov 03, 2009

Ducky Rubber for 11/10/2009

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

I kept seeing this woman I was interested in at pool parties, but I've always been very shy and reluctant to make the first move. At the third party, she hugged me as she was leaving. The following week, she kissed me. I invited her to come up for dinner. We had a great time. I even kissed her, and she didn't resist. Several days later, she said she'd see me at my condo's pool that afternoon, b ...

Updated: Tue Nov 10, 2009

Between A Rack And A Hard Place for 11/17/2009

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800

I'm planning to marry my boyfriend in December. I love how he makes me feel like a supermodel even though I'm slightly overweight, and how he's always saying he loves me. This is in sharp contrast to my mentally abusive ex-husband always saying he never loved me. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to clean out his car, and I found a black bra under the passenger seat. He said, "Baby, I bought ...

Updated: Tue Nov 17, 2009