Finding Holiday Joy by Shawn Dell Joyce on Creators.com

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Finding Holiday Joy

Holiday joy can be a fleeting thing this time of year, as many people feel more like Scrooge than Tiny Tim. Behind the advertising blitz that bombards us with consumerist images of smiling, well-dressed people giving cheerfully wrapped packages is the dark truth of depression. Out of 14 countries, the U.S. tops the list in depression, according to a recent World Health Organization poll.

Much holiday malaise can be traced to a sagging economy and holiday expectations. A parents' group, the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, wrote letters to 24 leading toy companies and retailers to express concern about ads aimed at kids. These parents expressed dismay that they can't afford the pricey toys that toymakers are heavily advertising to our children, and children feel diminished when they don't get pricey toys.

It's hard to believe that we are descended from settlers' children, who rejoiced at receiving a penny and a stick of candy as their main holiday gifts. In the 1800s, our kin earned $1,500 per year and would have had one nice set of clothes for church and one shabby set for daily life. They worked twice as hard for a simple diet because they had to grown most of what they ate themselves.

Over the course of 200 years, we've grown an average of 4 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier, our houses have more than doubled in square footage, and we no longer find joy in a penny and a stick of candy.

We need to reclaim our holidays as times of family togetherness and joy, no matter what shape the economy is in. Even if you don't celebrate the Christian holiday or the Jewish Hanukkah or African Kwanzaa, you can still celebrate a "secular Sabbath," in the words of New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman. A secular Sabbath is a break from email, cell phones, television, and all the other distractions of modern living that keep us alienated from one another.

"You need not be elderly to remember when we had no choice but to reduce activity on Sundays; stores and offices — even restaurants — were closed, there were certainly no electronics, and we were largely occupied by ourselves or our families," writes Bittman.

Ways to get more joy from the holiday season:

— Revel in the mundane moments.

Notice the details of the season: new fallen snow, laughing children, glittering icicles and the sparkle of a lit tree.

— Avoid comparing your decorated house with your neighbors', or your co-worker's holiday plans with your own, and so forth. Instead of comparing, which is almost always unfavorable, be genuinely glad for your fellows, delight in their joy, and you in turn will feel greater satisfaction.

— Be satisfied. Don't look for satisfaction in material things because you won't find it there. Satisfaction is a spiritual concept and cannot be bought or given.

— Find the true meaning of the holiday. A gift of time to the local soup kitchen or the "Toys for Tots" program will deliver a greater feeling of joy than spending more money at the mall. Look for ways to do generous acts anonymously this season. Rekindle a sense of faith in humanity as a gift to your community.

— Cherish family time. Spend more time sharing joyful experiences like caroling, baking, watching Christmas plays or making gifts together instead of shopping.

— Put gratitude in your attitude. Start your holidays off with a gratitude list that notes all the wonderful tangible and intangible blessings in your life. Counting your blessings will keep you focused more on what you do have.

— Say thanks by calling or writing a thank-you note right away after a gift or good deed. This prolongs your joy and shares it with the giver.

— Keep the spirit of the holidays in your heart all year. Remember to give often and generously. Make volunteerism a part of your daily routine. Research indicates that both the giver and the receiver of a good deed get an endorphin boost from the act.

Shawn Dell Joyce is an award-winning columnist and founder of the Wallkill River School in Orange County, N.Y. You can contact her at Shawn@ShawnDellJoyce.com. To find out more about Shawn Dell Joyce and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.