Cooks' Books by Lisa Messinger

"Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife: All the Dishes You'll Need to Make from the Day You Say 'I Do' Until Death (or Divorce) Do You Part" by Nava Atlas (Fireside/Simon & Schuster, $12).

As she attended wedding after wedding, cookbook author Nava Atlas says she couldn't help but think that the art of being a "traditional" wife had almost dried up. Then, she says, she chuckled since some of the old rules she and her friends grew up with were extremely dated and, yes, funny.

This wedding season, you and the brides — the ones you decide to give Atlas' mock cookbook, "Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife: All the Dishes You'll Need to Make from the Day You Say 'I Do' Until Death (or Divorce) Do You Part," to — can have a laugh, too, perhaps when they need it most to soothe anxiety days before the big event, such as the bridal shower or bachelorette party.

Atlas, an acclaimed author of a series of vegan cookbooks, like "Vegan Express," says she's always had a funny side, too, clamoring to come out. That, combined with her lifelong dual role as an artist whose work is exhibited in museums, meant that the longtime married mom of two went to graduate school and studied book design.

One of the results is whipping up "Secret Recipes for the Modern Wife," a book she designed for the Fireside imprint of Simon & Schuster; it is filled with her old-fashioned illustrations as well as doctored and treated vintage food photographs from manufacturers like Campbell Soup Co. and Pabst Brewing Co.

The book's a hoot, but also filled with lots of wisdom — and little sugarcoating. As much as the weddings Atlas attended gave her the idea for the book, so did the bitter divorces a number of her friends were going through.

"They shared their woes with me and did not mind one bit when their tales were cooked up into 'secret recipes,'" Atlas wrote. "On the contrary, the stories of strife were so universal that seeing their shared experiences emerge as dark humor seemed cathartic. Those who experienced the most painful breakups were those who, oddly, found the most hilarity in the early version of this project."

Those guffaws stem from fully developed mock recipes that feature lists of ingredients and cooking instructions. Recipes include titles like "Gender Role Casserole," "Mother-in-Law Fruitcake," "Completely Fried Wife with Toast of Total Exhaustion" and "Happily-Ever-After Ambrosia."

In a nod to the many women's magazines of the time that were filled with cheery advice, Atlas designed some similarly sumptuous spreads.

For example, one on how a brand called Mom's Tapioca Pudding in Orange-Coconut Flavor could single-handedly help hold a union together and will put the "mmmmmmm" back in your marriage.

Atlas herself has been married for "many years" to Chaim Tabak. When writing, she had to keep reassuring him, "'Honey, this book is NOT about you,' as it was taking shape, and it's true. He has always been my biggest fan and supporter, no matter how quirky or complicated a venture I undertake."

Here are a few examples of the "quirks" that fill this fun project. Each one is a tasty tale in itself and goes on longer in the book than the bite-sized sample presented here:

HONEYMOONERS' BOUNTIFUL BRUNCH

2 generous handfuls of lust, or enough to obscure rational thought and sensible decision-making

6 cups novelty, or as needed

Small dollop of reality

Drizzle of domesticity

Blueberries

Toasted crushed walnuts

Cornmeal

Pure maple syrup

Yields enough to serve 1 hungry couple.

Preheat lust until nearly too hot to handle, then cover until it has cooled down enough for you to realize that desire alone is not enough to sustain a relationship (though it can often make it more agreeable).

SOUFFLE OF FALLEN EXPECTATIONS

8 large eggs, separated

3 pounds of long-standing myths about marriage, derived from film, fiction and women's magazines

Several drops of strawberry-flavored essence

1/2 cup heavy cream, or enough to make you feel fat and guilty

1/4 cup sugar

Disillusionment, as needed

Yields 1 collapsed endeavor.

Separate the yolks from the whites of the eggs, just as now you are finally separating fantasy from reality. Throw the yolks away, and then regret wasting them.

Whip the white into a frenzy, then stir in all the myths you've acquired about marriage from childhood on up to the present moment. Gently fold in the realization that most of these cultural narratives are fictions. Add the strawberry flavoring to forestall the taste of inevitable disappointment, along with the cream and sugar. Bake in a hot oven until the souffle is inflated beyond reasonable expectations.

Lisa Messinger is a first-place winner in food writing from the Association of Food Journalists and the author of seven food books, including "Mrs. Cubbison's Best Stuffing Cookbook" and "The Sourdough Bread Bowl Cookbook." She also writes the Creators News Service "After-Work Gourmet" column. To find out more about Lisa Messinger and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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