Gossip The bus that has been named the "General Hospital"/"Young and Restless" express is continuing its run. "The Young and the Restless" actor Hayley Erin (ex-Abby) will assume the role of Kiki left by Kristen Alderson. Erin played the role of Abby …Read more. Q and A Q. The other day on "General Hospital," Sonny mentioned Fluke may be Luke's identical-looking cousin, Bill Eckhert. "Who?" — Samantha of West Caldwell, New Jersey. A. If Patty Lane (aka Patty Duke) can have an identical cousin, why not Luke? …Read more. Soap Opera Summaries "BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL": Liam and Katie think Bill has promoted them to re-win Katie. Both decide that whatever the reason, they deserve the promotions and accept. Aly is crushed when Rick will not let her design a shoe line for Forrester. Recalling …Read more. Gossip After almost 15 years in daytime, Kristen Alderson (ex-Starr "One Life to Live" and about-to-be-ex Kiki on "General Hospital") has decided to leave the world of soaps — for now. In 1998, Alderson came to "OLTL" to play the almost unbearable …Read more.more articles
Just when everyone had written the obit for soap operas, they are very much alive on talk shows, newscasts and a hot topic for comics. With the resurgence of the soap opera this week, I have decided to create my own soap — "General Scoundrels."
Every soap has a bible. A bible is the backstory of the soap. Since I created this, I also get to be the casting director. Soap characters will be given the task of taking these creations off the page and onto the television screen.
Here is the backstory. A four-star general, head of a counterintelligence agency, meets a beautiful married woman who writes his biography. The general will be played by "Young and Restless" Victor, the man who thinks he can do anything and get away with it. Although the general may have compromised international security, everyone is doing cartwheels to say what a wonderful man he is. It is like Nikki on "Y and R." No matter what Victor does, she and his children, Victoria and Nick, cluck, cluck about what a great guy he is down deep.
His lover has to be Erica on "All My Children." She does not care if she is married with children. She meets the general and goodbye everything else. Just like the general's lover, Erica has written a biography — her own — and she loves a man in a uniform and one who courts danger. She spent many years in love with CIA operative Mike Roy.
Next is another general. A hero with lots of time on his hands — enough time to send 20 to 30 thousand "flirtatious" emails to a female friend in a year. I guess leading the troops in Afghanistan is not time consuming. "General Hospital's" Spinelli gets the role. Spinelli is a computer whiz who will always put his job as a private eye on hold when anyone needs his electronic expertise.
On to the canvas comes the woman who brings everyone and everything down.
She considered the emails from the general's lover threatening, and she contacts the FBI.
We have a lawyer who nobody spends much time with unless they are in trouble. Michael Baldwin: "Young and Restless." Has anyone ever invited him to a party? He is lucky if they let him sit down and have a glass of water.
Finally, the man who helped the damsel in email distress sent her emails in which he was shirtless. That would be "Days of Our Lives'" Rafe, a mysterious man who looks great sans shirt.
The most soap opera element of the entire affair is how stupid these guys were. We are talking head of the CIA. He sets up an email account using a phony name and password. The recipient also has this name and password. Any third grader knows how to do this, and realizes emails do not go away and can be easily traced. If a soap opera tried this, viewers would snap off the television and wonder how stupid the writers think they are.
I am surprised they did not communicate in pig Latin.
There is the long-suffering wife. It has to be Viki ("OLTL"). Like Viki, she may be long-suffering, but she will not take any bunk. Seems the wife is furious and declines to go on news shows and say, "I forgive and stand by him."
On "Morning Joe," the MSNB morning talk show, a guest called the affair the "Young and the Shirtless." Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart also mentioned the soap aspects of this bizarre affair.
The anchor said around here we watch "Days of Our Lives." See, folks are still watching soaps; they even know the names of the shows and use it as a reference as they know their viewers also know and watch these shows.
To find out more about Lynda Hirsch and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.
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