Five's a Crowd Dear Margo: I read the letter from the empty nesters who were happy on their own. My situation is exactly the opposite. I am not happy, and I am not alone. My three adult sons are all still living at home. The middle one is a college graduate and …Read more. What To Do About "Old" Kids Dear Margo: My girlfriend was in one other serious relationship aside from ours. It lasted three years and ended three years before ours began. She keeps in touch with the ex because they work together a few days a week, and also my girlfriend was …Read more. Be Well This will be my last column as Dear Margo. I have been giving advice for 15 years — first as Dear Prudence and then under my own name. I have been writing for newspapers for 45 years. The time feels right to retire from deadline journalism. I …Read more. When Things Don't Look Quite Right Dear Margo: I'm 60, and my boyfriend is a few years younger. He recently moved in with me. His job requires him to meet with people after their workday. I know he really is doing this on some nights, because I have seen people enter his workplace. …Read more.more articles
A Little Perspective, Please
Dear Margo: My best gay male friend recently admitted he's in love with a woman, despite dating men his whole adult life without any bisexual inclinations. I can handle this sudden revelation, but I am deeply hurt and feel betrayed that it took him months to reveal this information. We're extremely close and share the tiniest details of our lives. I noticed a behavior change several months ago and repeatedly asked him what it was. He always brushed me off.
He's since begged my forgiveness, but I can't move past the idea of his keeping this secret from me. I find myself so hurt that I can barely speak to him. And I'm not secretly in love with him. I'm gay, as well, and have no romantic interest in men. Where do I go from here? — Allie
Dear Al: What you are calling a betrayal I regard as a "sin" of omission. Your close friend chose not to tell you his news until now, and I frankly can't see why you're so broken up about this. I suggest you accept the fact that he kept this to himself for a while ... for whatever reason. Some things are worth a commotion; this is not one of them. — Margo, forwardly
The Luck of the Draw
Dear Margo: When I started playing poker, I always won. The first tournament in which I played, I came in first. I thought I must have some sort of gift or something. This streak lasted for three months, and then I started reading books and studying the game.
At one point, I played in what was the most important tournament of my poker career. Gavin Smith came to my local poker club, and I won a satellite to the tournament in which he was playing.
Ever since then, poker has seemed intimidating, and I haven't made it as far in tournaments as I used to. How is it that an inexperienced player like me could have done so well in the beginning, and then gone to hell? I had been able to tap into a certain rhythm and was able to trust my gut, but I seem to have lost that. Is there any way to move past this situation and re-embrace what used to come so naturally? Will I ever be able to dominate a room full of men again, or should I just give up and break up with poker for good? — Texas Hold 'Em
Dear Tex: I do not know whether you will ever dominate a room full of men again, but I do believe there is such a thing as beginner's luck. I had it when I first started to shoot skeet. Then it went away. Forever. I also started to study something I took pleasure in (symphonic music), but after I took a course, I was so busy parsing movements, etc. that it was no longer enjoyable. Perhaps this is what happened to you. Although I know people who love the game, it is gambling, and if you're on the fence about continuing, perhaps "breaking up with poker" is the emotionally and financially smart thing to do. — Margo, bluffing
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via the online form at www.creators.com/dearmargo. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
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