Dear Mary: Do you think credit card companies would grant partial or total forgiveness of debt for a couple older than 70 with 10 or more accounts and a total balance of $90,000? They never have been late or missed a payment and always have paid the minimum. How can a couple of this age keep this up?

These accounts are not a result of extravagant spending or mismanagement, but of two large, high-risk investments of more than $40,000 each. One was for a young man and his startup company, and the other was to help a son keep up with mortgage payments. -- Sharon, e-mail

Dear Sharon: You need to understand this basic truth: Credit card companies are in business to make money. They are not humanitarian organizations on a mission to improve the lives of people in need. They do not care personally about their customers at all. Period. End of story.

I am very sorry that you (or are they your friends?) have found yourself in this horrible situation at a time when you should be enjoying a carefree retirement.

As to your question about "forgiveness," there is nothing preventing you from calling these companies to negotiate with them. Look for the customer service numbers on the backs of the credit cards. Let's say they would consider a lesser amount because that's a way for them to make the most money. Could you more easily come up with, say, $70,000 rather than the $90,000 you owe? Also, be aware that the Internal Revenue Service will be notified of any settlement arrangements, and the forgiven amount may be considered taxable income.

The bottom line is that you made extremely poor decisions to "invest" money that wasn't yours to lend. Now you have to deal with the consequences.

The way I see this is you have three choices, and two of them are not what I would consider to be ethical, but they are choices nonetheless.

First, you could go after these two young men to whom you lent the money and ask that they repay you. You don't give a lot of details, but it appears that you did lend them money. If these were outright gifts or "investments" you now consider lost, forget this option.

The second choice would be to refuse to pay your creditors and hope that, upon learning that you have no significant assets, they simply would write off your debts. In that case, they might opt to sue you, hoping to secure legal judgments that they would collect from your estate.

Or three, you could attempt to file for bankruptcy. You would need to speak with a bankruptcy attorney to see whether you qualify. Just let me warn you that it's not cheap these days to go bankrupt. It will cost you a significant amount in fees.

I wish I had a better solution for you. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be facing this situation at this time in your life.

Do you have a question for Mary? E-mail her at mary@everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723. Mary Hunt is the founder of DebtProofLiving.com and author of 17 books, including "Debt-Proof Living." To find out more about Mary and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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