Dear Larry: I need some help with my marriage. I am trying to understand my husband, and I need a man's point of view. My friends are all women, and they tell me to kick the bum out. I am confused and don't know what to do.

I am 35 years old, and this is my first marriage. I love my husband and want to make our relationship work, but he just will not work outside the house.

We have been married two years, and he never has had a job. Let me be a little more accurate: He never has held a job for longer than a month. When he gets a job, I believe he will do anything to get fired. For example, he will arrive late or not at all; get into disagreements with other employees or customers; and disrespect the managers.

I try to be tolerant, but I am tired of being the only one working. My husband seems to enjoy staying at home watching soap operas. As an aside, I don't know any husband who enjoys watching those shows day after day.

Looking at the other side, my husband treats me very nicely. He keeps the house clean, does the laundry, and always has dinner ready when I get home. If I give him a heads up, he even will run the bath water for me. Our sex life is out of this world.

I want my husband to work and bring in a salary, as other husbands do. He agrees with me, but it never seems to work.

Larry, do you think my marriage is normal? Do you think I should live with the situation, or should I follow my girlfriends' advice?

Any words would be helpful. — Alma

Dear Alma: I am a traditionalist and agree with you that it would be good if your husband would work and "bring home the bacon." However, from your letter, it sounds as if he is not willing to be a traditionalist.

In this day and age, traditions are changing. I know many marriages in which the traditional roles are reversed. Your situation is not unusual.

It is obvious you have studied the situation and looked at both the pros and cons and are trying to make a life decision. In the end, only you will be able to determine whether it would make you happier to live with or without him.

I know many women who would be thrilled to be in your shoes. There are many women who would be happy just to have a man waiting for them, regardless of the dinners, housecleaning and sex. I also know many women who would not tolerate having a husband without a job and could care less about the sex, etc.

Regarding what to do, your letter seems to lean more to living with the situation. If that is your decision, I recommend that you keep your girlfriends out of your relationship.

Write me again, and let me know what you decide.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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