Dear Larry: I have a problem that needs your advice as a man. My wife of 16 years is obsessed about her weight. Fifteen of the 17 years we have been together have been a living culinary hell.

She watches everything she eats. We cannot go to a restaurant and enjoy a meal. Everything has to be cooked to certain expectations. She constantly argues with the servers about the food.

One time, my wife insisted the food was cooked with lard. The waiter could not convince her she was wrong. As she got louder, the maitre d' came to see about all the commotion. In order to settle the issue, the cook was brought in to talk with her. After everything settled down, my wife refused to eat the food because she thought everyone was lying to her. Now I refuse to go to a restaurant for fear she will explode again.

My wife is a beautiful woman, but in my opinion, she is too skinny. She wears a size 0 or 1 dress. There is nothing I can say or do to convince her I would prefer her to be a little larger.

When we were dating, she wore a size 10 or 12. To me, she was perfect. I loved her curves, and just looking at her was a real thrill. Ever since we had a child, she changed into this string bean.

Larry, I need some help to convince her men like women a little larger. She thinks I just want to stop dieting and men really do like women who are skinny. She added that if people did not like women to be skinny, models wouldn't be so thin.

Help! I am tired of her looking like some skinny kid. I prefer a woman. — Mark

Dear Mark: I am making the assumption she is not anorexic. If she is anorexic, there are some indicators:

— An intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat.

— An inability to see herself with a low body weight.

— Eating disorders such as purging and the misuse of laxatives, diuretics or enemas.

— The loss of her menstrual cycle prior to menopause.

If any of the above factors fit your wife, get professional help right away.

You are right that, in general, men prefer women who have curves over women who are as thin as models.

The psychology of what men consider to be the ideal female shape is complex and changes as the male ages. Culturally, there is a difference in male preference, however a notable observation is that women overestimate men's preference for thinness.

I know I will get into trouble for this generalization because there are so many exceptions, but in general, men like women who have full lips; clear, smooth skin; good muscle tone; large breasts; and lustrous hair. Men also like women who have waists that are 30 percent smaller than their hips and who are shorter than they are.

Your wife is caught in the media craze that there is no such thing as being too thin. I encourage you to continue to find ways to get her to understand what men really like.

If my words will add to your quest, tell her I prefer women with "meat on their bones"

Dear Larry: I wanted to respond to your column regarding where people can find information on abuse. I live in the Northwest and have on numerous occasions seen notices regarding spousal abuse reporting and counseling in women's restrooms. — Karen

Dear Karen: Thank you for your letter. According to the responses, it seems your area of the country is the only place where this information is located in women's restrooms. I think it is such a good idea because this is one place a woman generally can be alone from an abusive mate. Let's hope this idea catches on across the country.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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