Dear Larry: I was raised by wonderful parents, who told me every day of my life they loved me. I thought I lived a great life. Everything around me crashed when I became aware at the age of 13 that I was adopted.

My adoptive parents are of mixed ethnicities — mother white and father black. I always thought they were my biological parents because it is obvious I am mixed.

At the age of 15, I found out that the woman who I was told was my aunt is my natural/biological mother. She is married to a white man, and they have three children, all of whom are younger than I am.

When everyone started confessing, my natural and adoptive parents told me I was the product of an affair. My bio mother, through a lot of tears, told me how she was pressured by her parents to put me up for adoption so she would be able to marry the right kind of man and get her life together. She said that is what she did but that she always struggled with the decision. According to her, that is why she stayed involved in my life from a distance.

I asked her about my father and what was he like. She told me he is in prison with a 25-year sentence for burglary. To this day, I have never met him, nor do I know anything about him other than he is black and my mother was madly in love with him at the time.

Larry, I am now 23, and my bio mother wants to be involved in my life as a mother. I cannot stand this woman. I cannot stand my half siblings. Everyone thinks I should be grateful to my bio mother for being so unselfish in my behalf. I know this is crap. She got rid of me because I was cramping her life.

My half siblings lived the good life, with plenty of toys and a father.

They know about me and they want to get to know me, but I have no intention of meeting them or having anything to do with them.

Since the age of 15, I have been arrested six times for using and selling drugs. I am living with a woman, and we have three children.

My adoptive parents keep telling me that I should let go of my anger and understand that my bio mother really did love me. I know how I feel, and I do not feel loving or forgiving. — Richard

Dear Richard: I believe as humans our existence would be so much better if we governed our lives by our intellect rather than our feelings. Our feelings change almost daily. Living by feelings will cause you to do one thing one day and something completely different the next.

I understand your feelings and your anger. Your mother rejected you because of your color and the fact that she was not married to your father.

With all that said, it is time to stop letting your feelings direct your life and allow your intellect to take charge. Your biological mother did you a great favor by putting you up for adoption and allowing a loving set of parents to raise you. It is shameful you have lived the past eight years in anger because you fail to count your blessings.

You are a father, and you need to focus on your children and not let your immaturity ruin their lives. Do not repeat the deeds of your bio father. If you want the best for your children, I suggest you marry their mother, let go of your anger, and allow the love you were given to be a part of your children's lives.

If you continue to live in hate, your life will be a catastrophe.

As an aside, I do not believe your bio father was put in prison for burglary. Suspect something much worse.

To find out more about Larry G. Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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