Dear Larry: I am white and have been madly in love with a black man for years. We are not married because of his inability to make a commitment. I know he loves me because every day, he recommits his love for me with words of endearment. We have been together for more than 10 years, and I don't know what I would do without him.

I am 35 years old and pregnant. I have had three abortions in the past and do not want to go through another. I think this might be my last chance to have a child, so I decided to keep it. I just found out it will be a boy.

My fear is that having a boy will cause me a lot of problems. I see so many angry black boys, and it scares me to raise one like that.

Because I decided to become a mother, what can I do to prevent my future child from turning into an uncontrollable angry black man?

My boyfriend said he would stand with me to raise the child. My parents think I am living in a fantasy world, and they have never approved of my living situation. They have never said it, but I think they do not like my boyfriend because he is black.

Larry, any advice would be helpful. My boyfriend and I really love and respect you advice. — Joy

Dear Joy: I believe if you continue to live in your situation, there is a good chance you will be raising an angry child. If you want a better chance of raising the kind of boy you want, follow my 10-point recipe:

1. Get married. A child needs the stability of a loving and committed relationship. The child needs to feel as if you both are there for him. Marriage is commitment and more stability.

2. Get serious with your religion. If you do not have one, get one. Every study indicates a child that is raised with a religious belief does better in life.

3. Live by example. Whatever behavior you want your child to have, demonstrate those qualities. If you want a positive child, act positively. If you want a happy child, act happy. If you say one thing and do another, your child will follow your actions.

4. Get involved with his school. Teachers cannot do the job alone; parents must lend support. Insist upon discipline and follow the rules. If you disagree, do so away from the child. Teachers must be valued.

5. Hard work has its rewards. Your child must be taught delayed gratification. He must learn the benefit of working and achieving a goal. Do not give your child everything; make him work.

6. Respect authority. Teach your child to respect those who have authority. Do not degrade the police or put down people who are trying to keep us safe.

7. Racism is not a barrier. Do not let your child think because he is a person of color he has an excuse to fail. Teach your child that everyone has someone who may not like him, and being disliked is no reason not to try.

8. Every issue is not about race. Do not let your child dwell in racial self-pity.

9. Every race has rights. Being black is not a reason to disrespect others, regardless of his circumstance.

10. America is the land of opportunity. Instill in your child the will to reach out for the brass ring of success. Teach him this is the place where people have come from all over the world and achieved greatness. Support your country, salute the flag, and teach him to be a proud American.

To find out more about Larry Meeks and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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